218 posts by Kaye

With Ease and Grace I Walk This Final Pathway

October 12, 2024 / / Uncategorized

This is my final blog.

What I thought was an eruption of allergies turned into the beginning of a new adventure:  An X-ray brought on a CT scan which brought on a a brain scan and PET scan and the revelation of a diagnosis of small cell carcinoma in my right lung.  Yes, folks, I have lung cancer.

Since July 1st I have been introduced to a new world…one of extreme care and compassion, every person I’ve come in contact with has the halo of ‘let me do whatever I can to make you feel comfortable’ as we tread this walkway together.

I haven’t lost a night’s sleep over this…early on I was affirmed that my spiritual practice was perfect for me!  I can’t explain how this all happens, but I can assure all that I do have the ‘peace which passeth all understanding.’

Since I moved to my ranchy thing almost three years to the day, I have moved under Grace. I’ve felt it.  It has been smooth sailing.  I’ve accomplished that which I needed to do around this place so that now, when I am short of breath and tired, I can sit and stare (my name for meditation) and feel accomplished in so many different ways.  I am satisfied.

My prognosis is give or take 6 months; however, I know me too…a strong woman.  Strong of heart and mind, willing to go the extra mile with zest and gusto, holding onto the golden thread of this new life adventure with anticipation of the unknown.

I have no sadness or regret inside of me.  I have tons of gratitude for my entire life and the experiences which shaped the outcome.  This time now is full of learning lessons…a big one is patience! Another is Acceptance of Help from others. I am keenly aware that I am able to make this entire experience wonderful…yes, wonderful.  Those in my inner circle are supportive and understanding of these feelings.  I am indeed walking my talk.  I am so grateful for the awareness I have and the appreciation I have for the way I think.  My whole life has been leading up to this time.

I have no attachment  This is the ultimate Freedom.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

Full circle… learning some of the unknown…

where there is Acceptancer, there is Peace.   Gaya.

 

 

Elusive Peace

July 30, 2024 / / Awareness, Energy Connection, It's all in the Energy, Our Essence, Silence, Source Energy, Transcendence

“I just want some peace!” “Give me some peace!’ “Where can I find some peace?

Certainly I’m not alone in this search!  Nobody says life is easy in all its cliche’. I’ve accepted for years that there are peaks and valleys to contend with…we take the good with the bad…we sigh deeply sometimes and await some relief.  It comes, and for a time we forget what was before, rather like childbirth…we forget the pain…as we flush with pure unconditional love for our new arrival.

Come to find out in my advancing years, there is a steady course that I’ve been following unwittingly:  I learn as I go along, just as I’ve been doing since I became. Peace  is what I AM.  And, as I’ve been peeling away my onion for these many years, it reveals itself to me in the silence, when I’m willing and then able to release the chaos, the drama, the senseless hullaballoo of daily life and welcome in that ‘peace of God which passeth all understanding.’
It’s mine for the asking and for the taking.

Availing myself of this peace isn’t easy, however.  It takes mindfulness and intention to make it a priority within me,  It’s a practice which cannot be set aside.  It’s a habit which has to be formed within. It is NOW my spiritual practice.  I allow myself to get in touch with my Essence the best I can. There’s a space within me which opens up to me. I am learning that I can ‘cut connections’ which no longer serve me.  These are emotional connections which have been with me all my existence and I have been using and relying upon them like crutches, except they have been restricting and holding me back from new awareness and growth. It’s a matter of being very conscious of what triggers me. I am finding most triggers are no longer valid. I just have to consciously identify them and literally instruct myself to disengage them. It’s like giving myself an update like we update our computers and phones. As I remove the triggers, that space then  allows peace to enter.  Out with the old and in with the new!

Our brains aren’t creative, but our Essence is. Necessity is the mother of invention. My Essence is totally aware of what I don’t need in my human existence.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.  PEACE TO ALL.

All reveals itself in good time.   ~Gaya

 

 

 

Aging…Admission and Sharing.

June 10, 2024 / / Authenticity, Faith and Trust, Life and Living, Living in the NOW, Peace and Understanding, Truth to Self

This aging business only allows for living in the NOW, so if you haven’t started practicing living in the NOW, I highly recommend that you begin.  The words ‘every day is a new day’ have never been more true.

Since I turned 87, I’ve felt a definite shift in how I view myself and my abilities.  I’ve come to realize I have to rely on my past words. i.e.,  I trust myself, I rely on my history, I have great Faith, keep on keeping on,  there’s more than one way to look at something, there’s more than one way to do something…the list goes on.

It’s all too easy to become discouraged and even dumbfounded when it comes to almost every single thing I do these days! I don’t think I’ve ever come to grip with my age, until now.  I still look in the mirror and said, “Gosh you look good for your age, girl!”, and I’ve never felt I was a candidate for a senior center! BUT, there’s no rushing anymore, showering takes twice as long, taking good care I don’t slip and fall.  Making my bed is more work, and when it comes to pep and energy, I don’t have near enough! I have to ration out my ‘duties’.  For instance, if I have to water outside (which takes a good 1/2 hour, and I do a good deal of walking),  I’m not going to vacuum, and if I dust I do a room or two. There’s no such thing as having a cleaning day anymore.  Everything is done piecemeal, all regulated by how much energy I have and how long I’m on my feet. Going to the grocery store is an accomplishment and I take the rest of the day off.

Make it clear, I’m not complaing, but it is what it is, and  living this way just hasn’t been my style until now.  It’s a huge adjustment for me. I’ve always been a hipshooter, took what came when I made my choices, and never looked back nor qustioned myself.  Now, however, it seems I’m a whole new person (except in the brain) that’s learning everything all over again.

I’ve always been a morning person, and this meant I got up early and got everything done before lunchtime.  I’m still a morning person, but I don’t get everything done before lunchtime anymore.  I have to rethink and CHANGE…lots of CHANGE. There’s no blueprint for what I’m trying to describe.  I’ve had to widen my perspective and my patience with myself as I route myself throughout the day. I don’t need a walker or cane, I tire very easily.  I’m totally grateful I have good health.   Living life these days is a conscious  creative effort.  I’ve never been so aware how new everything is.

All this being said,  I am so very grateful for what I have and what I can do and what I enjoy.  Aging allows me to inspect so many aspects of me and what I appreciate and it reinforces my resilience and desire to keep on finding solutions. I pleasantly surprise myself everyday and that’s a good thing. 

The cup is still half-full, there is a silver lining and gold at the end of the rainbow. I’m blessed to live this long and have these experiences. Once the newness of what comes with aging settles down, I’m  guessing I’ll have found my ‘new normal’ and keep on keeping on.

“Whenever you deeply accept this moment

as it is – no matter what form it takes – you

                                                  are still,  you are at peace.”   ~ Eckhart Tolle

Blessed Be. To All Be Blessed.

 

 

Get My Drift?

My Intuitive Toolbox

April 16, 2024 / / Conscious Awareness, Me, MySelf, NOW, Our Essence, Silence

When I need a screwdriver, do I need a phyllips or flathead? Considering a project, do I need gloves, a scraper, a saw, some sandpaper?  I ask myself these questions each time I begin a project.. In other words, I go to my tool box or my shed and pick up the exact tools I need for the job.

Living life to my best ability, I have other tools, and they’re intuitive.  I began trusting my intuition about 20 years ago. It’s a process to be sure, and when I made that conscious decision I had only one caveat, if I thought I was supposed to get on a plane and go somewhere, I WOULDN’T! Living intuitively takes practice along with mindfulness and lots of FAITH.

Living in the NOW is spontaneous.  It’s a responsive process to that which LIFE presents to me.  I make no things-to-do lists. I mark appointments on a calendar and do a grocery list. Eckhart Tolle says he provides tools through his books and speaking.  I get it!  My books and other information from my spiriiual mentors are all tools, and I’m free to pick and choose exactly which tool I need for my LIFE PROJECTS! Sitting in the silence begins the solution.

Living my life is not about panicking or fearful thinking.  It’s about trusting self with the realization that my intuition is God speaking directly to me.  I’m speaking to myself! The trick is the LISTENING! There is no urgency to living.  There is thoughtfulness and joy and intention  and personal willingness to jump in with both feet! Ram Dass refers to the GAME.  Games are fun, and tricky and require strategy and they can be won.  In life, my game is not a competitive one. I open doorways and windows for me to see opportunity and warnings.  I recognize blessings and gratitude.  I provide my own soft pillows to fall upon.  I trust my intuition and it is serious business.

There is no need to worry when I trust my intuition because I know I am coming from my heart and as I’ve said many times, I don’t believe anything can go awry when I come from my heart. There is no place for ego.  It is a silent affirmation from me to me that I’m trying my very best in all situations to get the job done!

I have found more peace in my lifetime these days than ever before.  Granted, there was more hurry and scurry when I was younger and more activity in mainstream; however, there was more ego and less awareness and consideration back then as well.  I guess it is a Game of Life I’m in, and admittedly, it hasn’t been boring.  But there’s big truth in recommendations to stop and smell the roses, and sit in the silence and ponder how magnificent creation is.  Everything really is as important as it is unimportant. It’s about my own focal point. There is so much to realize.  It could never be forced on me.  I have been offered countless directions over the years, but it was the choices I made which led me here and NOW.

I love the Serenity Prayer:  “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, oourage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I think it’s the acceptance that is my  greatest challenge.  Of course, when LIFE provides me pleasure, it’s easy to accept it.  It’s when I am challenged with outcome which I don’t want that it’s difficult to accept.

I think serenity and courage and wisdom  are intuitive, and then acceptance reveals itself.

Ease and Grace and Safety come with Peace.   ~Gaya

Blessed Be. To All Be Blessed.

I’ve Done It, I Do It, I’ll Continue to Do It.

March 5, 2024 / / Awareness, Energy Connection, Faith and Trust, GAYA, Intention, Presence

Today has been a momentus day!  So many things arose that needed correction!  Mechanical things…technical things…things I’ve always told myself that have been difficult or near impossible for me to figure out! BUT, TODAY, it has been different!

Today has been the day I worked with myself. Instead of going into some sort of a panic, I stayed relaxed and calm.  It was as if I ‘assumed’ my capability and I trusted the help I may need was going to be there for me to accomplish what had to be accomplished. I remained in touch with myself  and my intention.  Well, folks, everything got handled.  Easy Peasy.

This is a huge understanding/awareness and it is difficult to explain, other than that I practiced what I’ve been preaching!  I accepted in faith my power.  The answers just didn’t pour into me, but my tenacity and belief that I could figure it out by asking my computer questions, over and over again, with trials and errors, until the solutions appeared.  Bottom line, I DID IT!

No question, our minds make or break our accomplishments! They can give us hope and optimism or they can bring us to our knees in powerlessness with no belief of success.

I can do what I want to do as long as I keep the faith in myself and my essence. I am inextricaably connected to and unconditionally loved and supported by God, Source, Universe, Creator.  There is no stopping my abilities and capabilities. It thrills me to pass this on!

Blessed Be. To All Be Blessed.

To ask is to be given. To believe it is to see it.   ~ Gaya

Read The Room

January 29, 2024 / / GAYA, Life and Living, Living in the NOW, Responsibility

Things become so twisted when someone assumes what you’re thinking and then they act on their ‘clairvoyance’, not the truth!

I was in a phone conversation the other day, and nearing the end the other party said something like “you seem annoyed with me so I’ll just go”, and I said “okay”, and we hung up. The fact is, I wasn’t annoyed at all, I was somewhat confused with how the conversation was going and I had just asked for some clarification to what was said, and then came the above response.

Someone had assumed, or ‘read my tone’, or whatever, and put the disconnect on me.  This wasn’t about me! A simple question as to whether or not I was annoyed would have settled the whole thing.

I remember learning many years ago that the easiest way to know I am shifting blame is when my words have a “YOU” in them, i.e., “I think that You…”, or “You should….”, “I’m upset because You….”.,,or case in point “You seem annoyed…”.

If I come from the place of “I feel”, i.e., “I don’t feel heard”, “I feel I’m being placated”, “I feel I’m being treated rudely”, I am owning how I feel, but not blaming another for feeling that way.  The long and the short of it is that if I feel the way I do it is because of whatever reaction I’m having to what someone else is doing or saying.  It’s my trigger! I’m the one who has to settle my feelings within myself and figure it out. Only I can give me my peace.

Knowing myself is a big deal!  I’m responsible for how I perceive others’ words, events, anything. If I question something, I know I can ask to get an affirmation of my own understanding, or I can get a correction.  The final assessment is still up to me and it is I who lives with that and trusting myself.

Being comfortable with myself is a big deal!  I have no intention to be unkind or rude to anyone.  If someone has an axe to grind they’ll have to grind it on their own grinding stone.

In life I have to sift the wheat from the chaff. In so doing,  It’s a part of loving myself and taking good care of myself. It’s a part of keeping my own standards of peace and happiness. It’s about trusting myself and my own intuition. It’s about believing myself. It’s about upholding my integrity.

“To Thine Own Self Be True.” Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

Actions speak louder than words.   ~Gaya

 

 

There’s No Place to Go From HERE

December 10, 2023 / / Authenticity, Awareness, Energy Connection, Faith and Trust, GAYA, Living in the NOW

The HERE, the NOW, the PRESENT…all one and the same. There’s no escaping WHAT IS!  Some may think they’re stuck with it…I happen to believe I’m Blessed with it.

I know I expound often on what a privilege I think LIFE is to be lived.  It’s such a joy to use my SELF as I participate. Living alone, this is what is available to me:  my personal input, my self-honesty, my authenticity during my days, my observations as I proceed intuitively ofttimes with no thinking, just responding to what has presented to me.  This is, in fact, when I commence a blog.

I find it so interesting when I am introspective and I challenge myself to the truth:  what am I thinking? Why am I thinking this? is this from my ego or from my heart? Do I approve or disapprove and why?  What is my motive, do I have an agenda? What is my purpose of the moment?

It’s not about what others think anymore. What a relief this is! It’s about interrogating myself and answering truthfully.

If I do need validation, thankfully I have someone I can turn to.  We all need someone who has no vested interest in us other than they honestly care and have exhibited this time and again.

I want to feel whole and competent… and so far so good.  There is pure joy in living and doing and being.  There is pure joy in sitting in the silence and listening. There is pure joy in believing I am worth it and honoring that worth. And, whatever I offer to myself, I freely can give to another:  my attention and care and effort to enhance their present moment.

Blessed Be. To All Be Blessed.

All answers come from within. Truths do set you free.  ~ Gaya

 

Public Statements

November 17, 2023 / / Conscious Awareness, GAYA, Grace, Gratitude, Humility, Our Essence, Outside of Time, Peace and Understanding, Presence, Self-Realization, Transcendence

Life can appear as a whirlwind sometimes…and if I let my thoughts pick up and attach and define, I do myself a true disservice.

I’ve been able to observe change, my ego’s attempts to disrupt me even more, and my ability to hold the course of desired peace in my heart.

I am filled with relief, and gratitude, and pleasant surprise, self-awareness, and astounding presence. I believe I have taken a step upward in learning, i.e., upward in the vertical(spiritual) dimension, as against a traditional effort in the horizontal (human) dimension. I have made a conscious decision to hand over the reins and allow my Deep I to lead me. For those readers who are followers of Eckhart Tolle, you will understand what I mean here.

My understanding and spiritual progress is within me and that’s where it belongs.  There doesn’t have to be testament to the intricacies of my process.

It would seem I have created a conundrum or a contradiction; however, I’m merely trying to exemplify what a satisfying experience it is to hold inside myself the ‘meat and potatoes’ of my spiritual progress as I’m writing this blog, yet I want others to also know that it is occurring. I want to give others hope if they have been searching for relief in their own lives and have yet to receive it that it does come and at precisely the right time…CONTINUE IN FAITH.

Now more than ever I intend to keep my own counsel with the understanding that to explode all to the outside does in fact have a diluting effect to a point.  I’m feeling my strength impacting me within and it’s accompanied with a silent understandng that ego must stand down.

I hope this blog can be helpful.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

There are some things which are beyond definition

and explanation.  This may be one such time.     Gaya

 

 

YOUNG OR OLD, WE’RE UP FOR IT!

November 5, 2023 / / Uncategorized

Awareness!  This is a biggie!  As i imagine (accept), I am 86, and almost every day I’m finding I have to modify or adjust something so that I can accomplish what I want to accomplish.  I become frustrated, but why?  After all, since I was born I’ve been changing things to get things done, i.e., learning how to crawl, then to walk, then to run, then to jump and then to leap into my greatness!

I’m leaping into my greatest greatness of all these days! It’s amazing when I see it this way, as I accommodate myself while I’m keep on keeping on.

There simply isn’t any room for complaining, no matter what!  Instead, there’s all the room in the universe to figure out how to solve a problem, or make something better than it is, if that’s what I need. It takes imagination and guts and grit to address my issues to myself and try to make some changes. Even if it’s just a matter of changing how I look at things…seeing things another way.  The main thing is not to be discouraged or consider that I’m coming to a brick wall.

Every experience I’ve had in my life has been new to me the first time.   And it has always been up to me to figure out how to handle it.  How else did I get to LEAP INTO MY GREATNESS!!

As I age, it’s not about thinking I’m a victim of age, or time. It’s about how grateful I really am that I’m alive and enjoying Life as it is being given to me.  Just the fact that I do ENJOY my existence so very much is exhilarating to me.  Gratitude is the building block to Joy and Happiness.

I have some kind of varmit in my back yard now.  It’s probably either a mole or gopher.  In any case, I have to figure out what to do.  I don’t particulary like the mounds of dirt all around!  I’ve Googled the problem and there certainly are solutions. I’m already grateful that my little pooch Porter pees on the piles of dirt!  According to information, this in itself deters these varmits from wanting to be around!  I consider this a blessing, and Mother Nature’s way of possibly saving the lives of the diggers!

I will always be presented with something that requires my attention…this is Life!  If everything was good all the time, I’d  never be inclined to learn a thing about anything! Life always presents a challenge of some kind and that’s good. It keeps me alert and interested in what’s going on.

LIFE GENERATES MY GRATITUDE.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

Life is a series of  self-realizations….Gaya

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