This is my final blog.

What I thought was an eruption of allergies turned into the beginning of a new adventure:  An X-ray brought on a CT scan which brought on a a brain scan and PET scan and the revelation of a diagnosis of small cell carcinoma in my right lung.  Yes, folks, I have lung cancer.

Since July 1st I have been introduced to a new world…one of extreme care and compassion, every person I’ve come in contact with has the halo of ‘let me do whatever I can to make you feel comfortable’ as we tread this walkway together.

I haven’t lost a night’s sleep over this…early on I was affirmed that my spiritual practice was perfect for me!  I can’t explain how this all happens, but I can assure all that I do have the ‘peace which passeth all understanding.’

Since I moved to my ranchy thing almost three years to the day, I have moved under Grace. I’ve felt it.  It has been smooth sailing.  I’ve accomplished that which I needed to do around this place so that now, when I am short of breath and tired, I can sit and stare (my name for meditation) and feel accomplished in so many different ways.  I am satisfied.

My prognosis is give or take 6 months; however, I know me too…a strong woman.  Strong of heart and mind, willing to go the extra mile with zest and gusto, holding onto the golden thread of this new life adventure with anticipation of the unknown.

I have no sadness or regret inside of me.  I have tons of gratitude for my entire life and the experiences which shaped the outcome.  This time now is full of learning lessons…a big one is patience! Another is Acceptance of Help from others. I am keenly aware that I am able to make this entire experience wonderful…yes, wonderful.  Those in my inner circle are supportive and understanding of these feelings.  I am indeed walking my talk.  I am so grateful for the awareness I have and the appreciation I have for the way I think.  My whole life has been leading up to this time.

I have no attachment  This is the ultimate Freedom.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

Full circle… learning some of the unknown…

where there is Acceptancer, there is Peace.   Gaya.

Awareness!  This is a biggie!  As i imagine (accept), I am 86, and almost every day I’m finding I have to modify or adjust something so that I can accomplish what I want to accomplish.  I become frustrated, but why?  After all, since I was born I’ve been changing things to get things done, i.e., learning how to crawl, then to walk, then to run, then to jump and then to leap into my greatness!

I’m leaping into my greatest greatness of all these days! It’s amazing when I see it this way, as I accommodate myself while I’m keep on keeping on.

There simply isn’t any room for complaining, no matter what!  Instead, there’s all the room in the universe to figure out how to solve a problem, or make something better than it is, if that’s what I need. It takes imagination and guts and grit to address my issues to myself and try to make some changes. Even if it’s just a matter of changing how I look at things…seeing things another way.  The main thing is not to be discouraged or consider that I’m coming to a brick wall.

Every experience I’ve had in my life has been new to me the first time.   And it has always been up to me to figure out how to handle it.  How else did I get to LEAP INTO MY GREATNESS!!

As I age, it’s not about thinking I’m a victim of age, or time. It’s about how grateful I really am that I’m alive and enjoying Life as it is being given to me.  Just the fact that I do ENJOY my existence so very much is exhilarating to me.  Gratitude is the building block to Joy and Happiness.

I have some kind of varmit in my back yard now.  It’s probably either a mole or gopher.  In any case, I have to figure out what to do.  I don’t particulary like the mounds of dirt all around!  I’ve Googled the problem and there certainly are solutions. I’m already grateful that my little pooch Porter pees on the piles of dirt!  According to information, this in itself deters these varmits from wanting to be around!  I consider this a blessing, and Mother Nature’s way of possibly saving the lives of the diggers!

I will always be presented with something that requires my attention…this is Life!  If everything was good all the time, I’d  never be inclined to learn a thing about anything! Life always presents a challenge of some kind and that’s good. It keeps me alert and interested in what’s going on.

LIFE GENERATES MY GRATITUDE.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

Life is a series of  self-realizations….Gaya

I took the title of this blog from my son’s Birthday greeting when he called:  “Happy
Birthday, you made it another year!”

How appropriate…It’s April 2, 2023, and I took my new picture today on my 86th Birthday!

I feel good.  It’s a sunny and windy and chilly day here in New Mexico, and I feel Blessed.  Yes,  I made it another year! HAPPY DAY!

When I look at this picture, the shading is unintentional, of course, but as I analyze it, the thought  ‘from the dark into the light’ comes to mind.  Symbolism of my life. I’m loving everything that is happening these days.  I have such intense gratitude.  I appreciate simply everything.  I am experiencing new growth and awareness. I seem to be more keen when it comes to settling my personal differences, i.e., I’m learning to ‘live with it’, to accept what is and loving myself through whatever that may be.

Life has more meaning for me. New Mexico is very windy where I live.  And this morning, I realized how much I appreciate this change in weather from that of Phoenix.  There, it was just hot!  Then we had monsoon for a while.  Here, it’s cooler, some days windier than others which requires me to decide what I will/can do outside, or whether or not I’ll drive to town.  If it’s too windy I don’t venture a trip because I don’t want to hazard being caught in a sand storm!  This adds activity in my days and my brain.  I am observing what’s around me. I see and hear wildlife.  Cottontails abound, I see hawks, hear coyotes at night, the moon seems bigger and the stars seem much brighter and closer to me when I’m outside at night.  Truly, a celestial wonderment.

I feel more ‘in touch’. Maybe this is part of the aging process,  Then, again, maybe it’s part of the Blessing that comes in life when we’ve slowed down and become more observant and appreciative for all that is. In any case, It’s noted and I’m grateful for the heads-up!

I’m celebrating with a special birthday dinner of Rotisserie Chicken in my air fryer, with some veggies and a lettuce and tomato salad.  No cake, but I was sent some chocolates.  How splendid!

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

Life is full of happy days, joyful thoughts and

magnificent manifestations…all from within.   ~ Gaya

I am Happy I bought the winter jacket five years ago in Phoenix, cuz it surely gets worn here in New Mexico lately!

I am Happy I saved all my cashmere sweaters from Minnesota over 30 years ago, cuz they’re getting worn lots these days in New Mexico!

I am Happy I lived in real Winters in Minnesota, cuz it’s a piece of cake here in New Mexico!

I am Happy I like wind, cuz it’s windy in New Mexico!

I am Happy I have Porter!  All the time I have spent training him has really paid off!  He’s such a character and he keeps me on my toes!

I am Happy I can still cut my own hair!  That was one of the greatest things I started all those many years ago. I’d be spending a bundle for gas if I had to drive to a beauty salon every month or so to have it done!  And I’ve saved a bundle doing it myself  all this time!

I am Happy I can still type, cuz the Blog keeps going as long as I do!

I am Happy I have a spiritual practice that has grown through the years and it has brought me to a place in my life that is so peace giving and so awakening.

I am Happy that I am so grateful for all that I have.

I am Happy that I can laugh at myself and my antics (there are many associated with aging but also there are many that just plain tickle me, when I’m being ME!)

I am  Happy that I recognize just how happy I am! It is a Blessing.  It is a Gift of Life.

Life has been continuously preparing me for what has been coming to me.  I have been making choices which provided me the experience and learning that enhanced me and my capabilities. I remember saying to myself when I was working in the yard at my last house in Phoenix digging the ‘River Faux’, “you’re showing you’re capable of doing this hard work now in preparation for that ranchy thing when you’ll really be working harder”, or something like that. True enough, Life Prepares us for Life. We are writing our own Life manual as we live it! 

I am Happy I see what a treasure Life is and what a privilege it is to live it the best way I can.

Blessed Be.   To All Blessed.

You give to your own life and you give back to Life.

Graciousness and Gratitude.   ~Gaya

Yesterday, I did a ‘review of my life’ of sorts.  In my mind it looked much like a graph.  Lines going up and down creating peaks and valleys.  At first, it seemed like the peaks represented the ‘good times’ and the valleys were the ‘bad’.  But, as I continued to think, the peaks became more my survivals and the valleys were when I was in turmoil, figuring things out the best I knew how at the time, and making choices and changes trying to make it out of there so I could continue on living and moving forward.

The nice thing about looking back in this quiet way is that it’s easy to see everything that seemed important at the time with relative peace.  Why?  Because I’m here now, not there!

As I continued reviewing what obviously were the more difficult times of my life it became apparent that the most difficult times were repetitive and involved the same people.  Most were those people closest to me.  There also was a pattern when it came to the choices I made, like when I chose husbands, jobs, friends, etc.  I accept responsibility for my choices and outcomes and long ago came to grips with where I was at the time emotionally when I made those choices.  Kind of  like ‘I’d made my bed, so I had to sleep in it’, except  my own rationale allowed me to move the bed around any which way to accommodate a solution! These were the peaks! Resolution and solution.

The repetitive conflicts I had required more than just soothing the wound until another outburst occurred.  (This was the way it had gone for so many years) In retrospect, it required more action BY ME to end it!  Of course, as children we are powerless under an adult, but after we reach 18, we are considered age of majority and are held totally responsible for our actions.  I guess no one told me that I could take affirmative action when I didn’t like things the way they were! That isn’t to say I wasn’t rebellious, because I was, and ofttimes I took action in my own behalf, but many of those times weren’t  permanent.  Needless to say, the familial situations were much more difficult.

I’ve come to believe that in those repetitive situations it was my spiritual quest to survive and live for another day!  I’ve come to think that all of these familial ‘tests’ were offering me again and again the opportunity to emerge victorious – perhaps in past lives I may have buckled over and over again.

I mulled this life review over and as my thoughts kept digging, I began to feel freer, more proud of myself, and I definitely have an understanding within myself which percolates great self-compassion and feelings of achievement and accomplishment and survival.  Never that I can recall have I ever said “Why Me?”. I’ve always viewed myself as stanch.

So, what conclusion did I reach after my life review?  There were no combatants, there were formidable teachers;  I, too, was their teacher…“No, No, Not Anymore!” I realized that I only have pure power for myself.  This is not news to me in statement, but somehow I resonated with this conclusion in a more definite way:  I am not in this world to provide a ballast to someone else’s problems. I am here to be my own ballast and to provide example for others to figure out their own predicament.

“Too soon old, Too late Smart” is not true! Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

We always have your back and hold your hand.

There is no such thing as being alone.   ~Gaya

I’ve lived alone since 1978.  This is a long time.  Through these years I’ve owned several animals, only two of which, Lena and Fred, were more than animals…they were my friends and confidants!  I appreciated their personalities and devotion and quirks. They both gave me such joy and much laughter and mutual love.  Both lived to be 18 years old.

Then came Porter last April…what a whoosh into my life! A little over a year old,  with no  particular training, I took him in as a foster, and then in June I adopted him.  I had ‘made up my mind’ that I wasn’t going to own any more animals due to my advanced age; however, Fate and the Universe had other ideas!  I have to say, I’m so glad my own opinion was overridden!

Here, at DreamCatcher Ranch, there is a lot of space and quiet, all of which I love.  I still have my own issues which I have to deal with, some of which can be disruptive in my days, and without a doubt it’s better to have Porter here with me.  He’s such a positive distraction!  So many times I’ve said to him, “I don’t know what I’d do without you!”

It’s absolutely no trouble to me at all to take him out on a leash when he as to ‘do his duty’.  I’m so intentional to make sure he is comfortable and happy.  He has an inner knowing about me too.  Hard to figure out, but I know he wants to be as little trouble as possible.  Not once have I regretted bringing this little guy into my world.

My friend will take him if I have to go to the hospital, and if I don’t come back, she will either keep him herself or find a wonderful new home for him. This is peace giving to me.

These days, I do a lot of audible gratitudes…I continuously thank God for what I have. I walk outside and it’s “Thank you God, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, God!”  Several times a day I say “I love this house!”  I’m so very grateful. And this day I’m writing a blog essentially thanking Porter for being in my life!  I’m grateful for my health, my perception, my spiritual practice, my humility, my agility, and my willingness to keep on keeping on as I explore how life unfolds for me in each NOW.

There is “Alone” and then there is “Lonely”.  I think ‘lonely’ may have been averted when Porter found me! I have never felt  alone…I have Me, Gaya (which represents my non-physical friends), and I am steadied by my Faith in my unequivocal connection and unconditional support and intuitive instruction and love from God, Universe, Creator,,, and then I have dear Porter.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

We continue to listen,  and you are welcome.   ~Gaya

Hard to believe in another 8 days I will have lived here at my DreamCatcher ranch 9 months! And, what seems so interesting is that it all works so well with me inside. It’s not outward appearances that matter, it’s what appears on the inside of us that’s of import.  I see the snakes (small ones and no rattlers yet!), swarms of ants (happily not near my house), evidence of raptors that have killed baby bunnies (alas) and…DRUM ROLL, PLEASE…there’s a desert tortoise  who came with this property whom I’ve named Johnny (as in “Here’s Johnny”!).  Porter likes him too…sniffs for him outside around the house when we don’t see him, and gets up close and personal when he greets me at the front door these days to get his daily dose of lettuce.  He lets me rub his head, and so help me, I think he ‘runs’ to me when he sees me cuz he knows he’s getting fed.

The most interesting thing about Johnny is that he went missing for almost a week, and I found myself feeling sad.  I had seen him eat a tarantula – boy, this was an interesting sight to behold! – and I thought maybe that had killed him cuz I have pest control here to keep scorpions and other pests out of the house, and I had found tarantulas dead because of that too, and I thought maybe a poisoned spider could kill whatever ate it.  Anyhow, lo and behold, Johnny surfaced again, and I think I figured out he hides when it gets really hot.

What I’m trying to convey is that my heart has been extended to Johnny and I was well aware of it when he went missing. It’s funny how Life becomes more keen to recognizing other Life when we identify with it. I didn’t like seeing the dead baby bunny that had been mutilated by a raptor either.  But, we’re all here for our purpose while we’re here.

I’m getting to know the ‘bones of the place’ just like every other home I’ve had.  It’s a process of easing into my new lifestyle…not unlike how we ease into everything else that confronts us every day.  I’m socializing more here than I did in Phoenix in a city neighborhood environment as against a country lifestyle.  My friend and I see each other almost every week and we get together for family meals fairly often too.  I’ve become more of a ‘mozier’!  I’m slower by necessity and because of this I’m observing more in a quiet sort of way.

There’s a lot to be said for changing one’s routine and surroundings…like taking a different route to work or school or to the grocery store once-in-a-while.  I moved out of state and totally changed my lifestyle, but I think it’s important not to get into a rut over anything (or anyone either, for that matter).  I think we stay sharper and more interested in what’s going on around us when we have diversity and surprises too.  Like when I first saw a centipede here (which are common in this neck of the woods).  Eew! It’s amazing how well we can go with the flow with it all (Smile). I think my countenance is milder and more accepting.  I think I’ve grown to understand that there’s always something new to contend with no matter what so why get overwrought about any of it.

You’re creating your wonderful world to enjoy. Blessed Be.   ~Gaya

Bless your own life and others’ lives too. Stay Safe.  Be Well.

Porter is Officially Mine!  Yesterday was adoption day and I have become a new pet owner once again.  So, I wear another hat!

Golly, I sure have worn many, many hats in my 85 years.  I am not just one person. Each day…or even each moment…I change my depth by virtue of what I am up to, what responsibilities I take on.  And, when I change my depth, I fill up inside, I fulfill myself and Beingness.  I learn what I can do and accomplish.  I am directing myself in every way.  It’s a personal drive in me.   There’s no competition  except an inner desire to always keep on keeping on! Call it the delicious flavor of life!

Through my years I have labeled myself, and I have restricted myself at the same time.  I’ve gotten hung up on an individual identity, as against a global identity while traveling  my Forever Path.  I haven’t been just a female of a living species called human being, I’ve been a daughter, sister, student, legal secretary, administrative assistant, wife, mother, divorcee’, neighbor, friend, shopper, car driver, parishioner, cook, waitress, housekeeper, house buyer, landscaper, author, hostess, guest, spiritual seeker and finder, Facebook member…and these are some of the titles (labels) I’ve given myself…others have also labeled me visa vie their opinions and observations of me.

I don’t want to live my life in such specificity.  I’d like to view myself as a ‘generalist in life’.  When I’m cleaning up after a meal, I’m a dishwasher, only for that time...everything I am doing is only for that time I’m doing it. Why think what I’m doing at any given time is so permanent?!!  When I keep my windows and doors of life opportunity open with a welcoming attitude, this is excitement for life and living it!

I am a multi-experiencer of life! I make the choices for my experiences!  I want to savor my experiences for what they are, not whether or not I like them,  but that I’m having them.  Let them come and go.  Accept them…this doesn’t mean I approve of all of them…but for the time being, they are what they are in my life experience. Cum se Cum sa, que sera sera, ob-la-di ob-la-da

I take on my responsibilities which for that time are just that:  MY RESPONSIBILITIES.  And I relinquish some of these semi-permanent responsibilities throughout my lifetime as well. My role as a mother changed as my children matured. I’m a retiree now, and choose my daily duties and when I’m going to do them.

I am the Pearl of My Own Oyster…we all are.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.  Stay Safe, Be Well.

You Are That You Are At The Time.   ~Gaya

My move has been a wonderful experience!  BUT, one thing’s for sure:  I haven’t gotten away from anything about me. In fact, I’m moving toward more about me!

It’s called Baggage!  Whatever issues I’ve had are still mine.  My spiritual practice remains so important to me as I navigate my new life, living in this new NOW…(every NOW is new, of course!). I feel a different aliveness.  I feel a new sense of how I go about ‘things’.  I always want to succeed, whether it’s fixing up this house, making new friends, learning the territory, and in doing this, I’m very aware how I’m tackling these new things.

Having lived in my former home for 19 years, I had become accustomed to my lifestyle.  Now, I’m creating a new lifestyle.  I’m finding new places for things, I have upset my routine. It’s a good thing. 

It is I who created the change, and this is an interesting dynamic. ‘They’ say the elderly don’t accept change easily.  Well, we do when we instigate it!  It’s more like we don’t like being told how and when to do something!  We don’t like surprises!   I’ve said, “Age is no pass to wisdom”.  Now I’ll also say, “Age is a pass to experience.”  No matter what, the more years we have lived, the more experience we have garnered and, hopefully, the more we have figured out about what works for us.

I’ve never loved my life more than this time of my life’  Living life has gotten me ready for living more life! It’s about using  the time I have to do what I want to do.  I appreciate my strengths, and stamina, and interests. The old adage, “If you want it done right, do it yourself” rings a chord these days.

I had lots of help pulling off my move.  My son was exceedingly helpful when we first arrived, and he extended his stay for a few days.  I needed this and was so grateful for his thoughtfulness and aid.  But when he left, I was ready to stand alone and I felt confident.  I drew upon past experience. Independence is a wonderful feeling that hinges with Faith. I have felt the support of the Universe.  I have felt the ease and grace that comes along without push and shove.  I have recognized the synchronicity in my life through this massive choice-experience.  I know I will continue to experience self-fulfillment.

It is true, I am inextricably connected to, and unconditionally loved and supported by, God, Universe, Creator…call it what you will.

Of course,.   ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.  Stay safe and Be Well.