It was a hot July 22nd, 1965, in Arizona….the day I was born a Mother… and again, on August 6th, 1966, … infamous days in my lifetime, right up to this Mother’s Day, May 14th, 2017.
I know I didn’t grasp what it meant to be a mother all those years ago…and I’m pretty sure I didn’t give much subjective thought to this role as I related to my responsibilities. I tried to do ‘the right thing’ and no question I loved both of my sons to the depths of my heart and Soul.
I KNOW FOR CERTAIN what unconditional love feels like! I can remember as if it were yesterday, my EXACT FEELINGS when the tiny bodies were placed on my chest, and my heart actually swooned with a surge of protectiveness and awe and wonderment as never before. This feeling went throughout my whole body, and it belonged only to me because these tiny moving life-beings had lived within me for 9 months, and came through me to present to the world and live on their own because I already existed for their passageway.
I was directed – the boys had good health care, dental care, foot care, home care ( a good roof over their heads); however, they had a mother who had her own agenda about what she wanted to do and how and when she wanted to do it!
As years passed, the phrase “I did the best I could with the knowledge I had” became a convenient, yet true, statement – especially if I was qualifying some of my ‘missteps’.
The boys grew into men. I remain their mother with good intention, and, thankfully, with much more knowledge of what motherhood really does mean to me today. Like any lesson I ever had to learn – this has come the hard way, i.e., many ‘series of events’ which again and again required my decision to keep-on-keeping-on! In spite of all else, a mother does keep going when the going gets tough!
Birth designates motherhood, and death does not take that away. Although my eldest son is gone, I am still the mother of two sons! Souls are withstanding, hearts soften, and I have actually succumbed to a much broader interpretation of the existence of My Self and My Soul…My Higher Self. As I was chanting my Buddhist prayers this morning, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, I came to tears, and at that moment in time I knew I was atoning for all the mothers I have been and all the mothers I have had since I became.
This declaration is personal only to me, and acknowledges a huge awareness within. I am totally free OF THE PETTINESS OF THOUGHT which I have held my dear departed mother hostage to from the day my birth created her, my mother!
Blessed are we… all Mothers – to be cherished and treasured just because of our creation alone…no deeds counted. I believe we’ve all meant well – through all generations… centuries upon centuries…and we all carried with us our baggage and rules that determined our choices and decisions. I believe we play out our Karma in this life and from those lives past.
No more false imprisonment of all [my]mothers past…those mothers I have been or those who have been mine! I HAVE A COUNTENANCE OF PEACE…THERE WAS NEVER ANYTHING TO FORGIVE, ONLY UNDERSTAND.
THIS IS MY HAPPIEST MOTHER’S DAY EVER…I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THIS AWARENESS. Blessed Be to All.
Leave A Comment