What’s in a face? Why save face? Why put on a happy face? Face forward! Why use make-up to cover up the face? There is nothing wrong with the REAL FACE!
A while back, in another exercise toward authenticity, I was determined to strip away whatever labels I had attached to myself: I went to a gym to strength train; I walked a mile in 18 minutes; I kept my weight pretty strictly between 130-132 pounds (and was proud of it!). ALL…drum roll please…at the age of 78-80! This was my picture of Kaye…I prided myself in it. I had convinced myself this was part of the REAL ME! “How Great Thou Art, Kaye”!
I’m getting better at recognizing when my prideful EGO slivers into my consciousness and it is much easier to recognize and peel off “that face, that face, that beautiful face”, and idle back to the ME that is JUST ME!..The perfectly imperfect ME… the ME that I smile at every morning in the mirror with fond recognition. It’s more than good enough for me, and that’s all that counts!
Facing facts as I relax into my ‘easy peasey’ comfortable-with-ME space, I find I am far less concerned about what others are up to! Everyone else can figure out their own stuff. It’s my peace I care about and my awareness that I’m continuously gaining because I do care more about me and love me more than anyone else. I can be authentic around anyone, whether or not they are authentic with me.
Kaye has figured out that beneath ‘it all’, rests everything that is sweet and comfortable in her privilege of living her life to the fullest, and she knows it isn’t fancy, or loud or flashy, it is more on the mundane side of things because there is so much joy and happiness that extends to everything around and within her. She has figured out that there is nothing specific that makes her happy. She is happy for happiness’ sake. ~Gaya.
There is no question, I am working with another aspect of living in the NOW with myself. I am more serious about what I have inside of me that must come out. This isn’t necessarily about peeling my onion as much as it is about my Spiritual Nature, my Soul Self, my Higher Self. I believe I have a Personal Emotional Guidance System and my consciousness wants a deeper connection to it. I now have a sense that my innate ‘independent nature’ may well be that very System that has always been a part of my character. I am on untread ground. I am turning an unfamiliar corner far deeper within. These aren’t answers carved in stone. This is how I pursue unanswered questions, as I stay interested and open waiting for answers. ASK and I shall RECEIVE.
ABOUT FACE!! BACK TO MY SPIRITUAL QUESTING!!
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