I AM WHO I AM

STAY ON MY TOES!

March 9, 2020 / / Authenticity, Conscious Awareness, Energy Connection, Faith and Trust, Freedom, GAYA, Grace, Honoring Intention, Humility, I AM WHO I AM

Life is so fluid, and I keep moving along with it, whether I like it or not.  One thing’s for sure though – my thoughts have to stay current with my days!  This is a mouthful, folks!

When I decide something, it becomes a moot point.  My thoughts bring me to my choices and actions right away. Then, off I go to the races to other thoughts that are determining my Forever Unending Pathway.  Concurrently, I am experiencing contrast – some by my own doing, and some through Life’s presentations.  I try to thoughtfully respond, but all too often I react instead.

I think I keep way too much in my head after I have made a decision about something.    It may be because it’s familiar territory, and it’s easier to chew over the same cud rather than begin again and again, but the fact is, life is a continuous stream of  new experiences.

It is my responsibility to keep up with the fast-paced stream, and I also have to keep myself current with what my attention and intention is.  It’s as simple as that!   I want to know where I want to be in all of the activity.  I pretty much stay out of the fray anyway.  I go where I am interested in going.  I won’t be dragged along by others anywhere.

I guess what I’m pointing out to myself is that this NOW I’m trying to live never has a past or a future, only NOW, and this is just enough for me to handle.

As I’ve gotten older, I can look back to ‘simpler’ times, but why?  Those who came after me never knew of them, they’re living what they know NOW.  And to look back and lament is a warped way of complaining as I see it.

Come to think of it, as I grew up and lived my life, things were moving fast too, and I was learning new things all the time.  I never sat with my experiences and asked Life to slow down.  I mostly thought of the ways to resolve and solve what needed attention.

So, I guess the long and the short of this message is an affirmation that I always have been at the helm of my ship, directing my course, whether I was aware of it or not.  Fast pace or slow, I’m always responsible for my actions and words, and what I create

I am a powerful spiritual being, aligned with God, Source, Universe, Creator.

No one is alone…lest in their thoughts.  Breathe in the healing energy,

and breathe out that which no longer serves you.    It is good to  honor

your inextricable connection to God.   ~Gaya

 

 

 

Perception…Reality! It’s all mine!!

October 19, 2018 / / Energy Connection, Faith and Trust, GAYA, I AM WHO I AM, Peace and Understanding, Self-Realization, Truth to Self

I will not allow my Joy to be snuffed by others’ actions! I will not allow my state of Beingness to be maligned by words from others’ mouths!  I am whole and complete…I am totally perfect at Essence, and I have been in the process of transformation since I became!

Yes, I am in perpetual  transformation, filtering information that comes to me through ‘intended sources’ which at perfect timing resonates with me, and I then begin to understand and integrate it into my whole SELF.

At 81+ years old, I am still at the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Slowly but surely I am melting into myself and I am seeing with more clarity.

Just what is it that stirs me..opening up my brain to see a little more of who I am?  Is it “Spirit” moving me?  Is it Source Energy…my Gaya…that finds a crevice to enter so I can see that bit more light that provides more answers?  I come to believe this day that I don’t have to name it! I just have to be aware that IT IS!  I believe because I feel the impact within,  I know I AM IN TOUCH WITH WHAT IS! 

I know there is much more and my unquenchable thirst thrusts me forward in my search…a Spiritual Addiction..meaningful only to me…slicing through me, letting all the air out of the balloon veils releasing and freeing me from the shackles of others’ dictates and judgments of who I am; my self-talk that restricts me from accepting I am made in the likeness of God, Source Energy, My Creator, The Universe...ALL THAT IS! 

Somehow, it  now seems so simple to be able to entertain this as truth, instead of holding on to all the other stuff that is negative and hurtful to me…which my EGO would have me do.  Yes, it is the EGO endlessly trying to devalue and foil me…it is EGO-PURPOSE.

I will be more conscious to enforce and reinforce my Essential Goodness.  My transformation will continue as I remind myself of my Spiritual Composition:  Love and Light.

It is in the awareness that transformation takes place.  There is a countenance of  internal understanding that pervades  and rests easy inside you, Kaye.  You have found, yet again, another piece of your ‘knowledge puzzle’.           ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

Whither Thou Goest, I Will Go….Whither Thou Leadest, I Will Follow You.

September 10, 2018 / / Energy Connection, Faith and Trust, GAYA, I AM WHO I AM, Living in the NOW, Peace and Understanding, Self-fulfillment, Truth to Self

And  so it happens…I am led to open up my blog and begin!  I am already led and I am following.

Awareness is so interesting.  It is a feeling, it is a knowing, and it is such an ‘insider thing’.  It is not something I can easily share with anyone because it relies upon intimacy, and laying myself out so vulnerable.  It is sharing a piece of me that is so deep within, I can hardly give it definition, but it is worth this try.

Years ago, I coined a phrase:  Everything is as Unimportant as it is Important.  Now and then this comes into my thinking…like today…and the truth of it rings much louder.  It is almost deafening.

As I continue to learn how to live in the NOW,  I am getting better at dropping off  ‘stuff’ which has absolutely no place in the NOW.   I’m becoming more keen about where I want to be emotionally, i.e.,  Happy with Myself, Joyful about my Life.   The essence of my Character is looming very relevant.  I don’t have to prove anything to myself or anyone else anymore.  Now is the time for me to mine the gold that is ME beneath the layers and masks while I continue to peel away.

I have come to love the word Release!  There is a feeling of  Willingness that accompanies it…as in releasing a bird to flight, letting go of the string to a balloon, sending a child off on their own, riding a two-wheeler for the first time.

Finally, I think I can jump off the high-wire of life that has held me back from really enjoying the simplest of things while enjoying the privilege of living my life.  

Speaking only for myself, of course, being a hip-shooter is pretty exciting… I switched up life whenever I thought I was bored, or needed some action!   I realize now that it is  the other side of the same coin of being ‘on stage’... I wasn’t good enough, unless I ‘performed for an audience’…I couldn’t just be myself!  I don’t care how I came to be this way, but I do care that this is NOT WHO I AM! 

This current observation isn’t a night-and-day  “ah ha” moment for me. It is, however, an affirmation that I have been on the right track for quite a while now, and  my onion peeling has been totally worthwhile and will continue to be so.

Getting back to the Awareness of it all….Life is becoming pretty darned comfortable.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 We are never away.  You have come with us, as we have come with you.       ~Gaya

 

 

 

 

Listening is Indeed an [He]Artful Action.

August 29, 2018 / / Energy Connection, GAYA, I AM WHO I AM, It's all in the Energy, Peace and Understanding, Truth to Self

I’ve mentioned before that I  often talk out loud to myself.  I’ve mostly laughed it off,  explaining it’s because I live alone, and aside from acknowledging my animals from time-to-time, it’s pretty quiet in my house.  My TV has been turned off for some time now, so I don’t have that ‘white noise’ either.  Top this off with the fact I routinely get up early every day…like 3:00 A.M. …So,  believe me, it’s really quiet around here then!

Yesterday, I was out of sorts.  This is very unusual for me.  I most always have a good attitude, even if I happen to be wrestling with some event occurring in my day-to-day which requires my attention.  I’ll call it a ‘mood’.  I felt like a huge black cloud was hovering over me, and it was weighted!   Of course, I know there’s something going on with me, and it’s much different than most days, and it throws me for a full loop!

It’s overt onion-peeling time once again.  Get underneath this, Kaye, dive deep within where there’s something else which needs to be brought to the surface!

So, you’re human after all!   No matter how happy you are on a day-to-day, you can still be tripped…or, should I say, you can still trip up yourself?  What have you told yourself as one of your truths before?  Ego is the devil…and I know when I feel unsure of myself, or in any other way unsteady, it is the Ego undermining me!

“You are a good person, Kaye.  You mean very well.  You try so very hard as you walk your journey into your light.  Never lose sight of your willingness to keep on going, to keep on learning more and more.  Continue to treasure your sound Faith and Happiness and Joy which you have attained because you are learning the keys that open these doors…And, above all, you can trust yourself, just as you say…you know yourself, you always will know what to do if you continue to come from your honest heart.”   ~  Gaya

Until I find differently, I am going to listen to what I say to myself out loud…these are my conversations with Gaya.  These are affirmations of my connection to that which continues to light my Forever Pathway toward continued Peace and Joy.

Blessed Be. To All Be Blessed.

 

 

There is No Rhyme… But There is Always a Reason!

June 14, 2018 / / Faith and Trust, I AM WHO I AM, Life and Living, Living in the NOW, Me

So something begins to stir inside of me…what is that, anyway?  It’s that ‘same old feeling’ that I get for EVERYTHING when I know something isn’t quite right, and it is up to me to figure out where it fits and what it means in MY LIFE!

Well Oh Well, let’s just figure it out together!  I’ve defined this feeling before.  It’s like I’m guilty of something, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t do or say anything to feel guilty about!  So, I’m already getting to it…This morning someone said something to me which MY EGO picked up faster than the speed of sound  and I’m feeling insecure, not so sure of myself, about most everything that I’m doing online!  I’m also hearing myself say,   “There’s more, Kaye”…I’m feeling inadequate with a friend.

Oh boy, Kaye…just a minute… what did you write in one of your books about this:

An excerpt from my first book,  Unbridled Commentary…Without Flinch (FROM A WOMAN OF YEARS IN THE ‘MIDDLE OF HER LIFE) , “Love Me…Love Me Not?, You’d think after reading this far that I’d have all the answers down pat when it comes to who I AM, what I think of myself, where my self-esteem throttles, and how my confidence stabilizes most of the time…WELL, I’M STILL WORKING ON IT!…..I believe the Ego is the devil! It doesn’t serve me well.  It causes me to have doubts and question ME, the very one I trust, have faith in, and in whose strength I rely!….I have a ‘kicker test’:  Whenever I have any doubt about any opinion I support as my truth or any decisions I have made in my behalf, or when I am worrying about what anyone else might think about me or my actions, IT’S MY EGO undermining me!  Yes, folks, for me, this is it in a nutshell! This is my story and I’m sticking to it!  I love me, and if I love me, I trust me, and have faith in what I know are my life truths, and I make decisions based on this strong faith.  THIS IS THE LAST TIME I AM PICKING THE PETALS OFF A DAISY!”

There you have it my friends.   ‘We’ came to my answer.  It didn’t take us so long, and ‘that feeling’ has left me and I am as confident as ever and I am on my right track once again!

I AM SO GRATEFUL I don’t cower to myself when I’m at this ONION PEELING!  I have welcome tears flooding my eyes letting me know “I’ve still got it!”  I am in tune with Source Energy!  I persevere to ‘BE’,  TO BE FREE.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

P.S.  If you haven’t already, take my first book, it’s the FREE one! You might even decide to buy the second one (smile).