“Real Friends”

Some is for Company…Some is for Me…It all boils down to ‘FOR ME’…Cuz it MAKES ME FEEL SO GOOD!

January 7, 2018 / / "Going for It", "Real Friends", Faith and Trust, Gratitude, Life and Living

We are already a whole week into January, 2018, and I’m preparing for my friend’s arrival on the first of February.

I have lived in Phoenix, Arizona, for going on 28 years this coming March, and I received guests especially the first 10 years most every Winter, so this isn’t anything new!  However, there is something very new and different that I have perceived with the planning I am doing these days.  I’M LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF WHAT I AM UP TO…whether I’m cleaning my refrigerator, or my stove top  – even taking out the strainers on the faucets and my shower-head to remove all the hard water deposits!  I’m tending to my home with love and I’m loving the person who is coming to enjoy her stay here..and I’m feeling the love I have for myself because I am intimately connected to all of this process.

I have been practicing living in the NOW for several months and I think this may just be the reason I mention any of this.  My ‘before picture’ was the planning of a things-to-do list which involved making sure my house was in tip-top shape for my guest, and I was hyped to the degree of excitement with anticipation and outcome woven into everything I was planning – all in advance of the actual event.  It was mostly about me, and how I would look, I’m pretty sure…..I didn’t have the glorious feelings I have now that are inclusive of my guest with a partiality to my own feelings not only toward her and wanting her stay to be as comfortable as I can make it, but it also has to do with how wonderful I am feeling as I “refresh” my home because I want ‘it’ to be an extension of my affection for my personal living space that I am sharing with my house guest and friend.

I have no rhyme or reason as to what I choose to do every day, but I know it is going to be perfect out of my intention.  I know she is looking forward to her visit and we talk most every day not only about that, but also the preparations she is making for a side trip she is planning for herself.  It feels so good to be considering someone else in my life right now – living alone provides more solitary thinking remember – and I know the quality of this comes directly from that which I feel for myself.  There is no ego playing into this.  I have no one to impress, nothing to do other than be myself, the woman we already know.   And, there are some special dishes I want to cook for her (which, of course, I have cleared whether she likes them!)

I am expressing my Freedom and Joy through all of the choices I am making surrounding this event.  And, as much as I am certainly looking forward to it, if for some unknown reason it has to cancel, I know the two of us will just say, “Well, when can we set it up again?”  The whole thing is nothing more or less than one of those “series of events’ I refer to often which present to my privilege of living my life.

There’s a lot to be said for being a dreamer, realist and optimist all rolled up into one.  Makes for an exciting time of it, with the knowledge everything always works out perfectly and in its own good time to my greatest good and that of all those around me, right NOW.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

Intimate Strangers…….Really?!

March 15, 2017 / / "Real Friends", Life and Living

I got to thinking the other day what a friendly person I really am!  By ‘friendly’ I mean talkative and outgoing.   It’s easy for me to speak to strangers and I’m very able to keep a conversation going on just about any topic  – whether it be personal to me, or even asking what some may term a ‘personal question’ to someone else.  How else do we begin to know anyone?

How often it has happened when I ask someone how they are, and the answer is “Fine”.  Gosh, that doesn’t tell me anything.  So help me, when someone asks me how I am, there’s a story coming – it’s not that I’m going to blurt out some great litany of complaints; but rather, I’m likely to give a synopsis of some last few hours or even days of what has been going on in my life.

I’ve  been examining my friendships lately.   Clearly, if I were to get specific, several have dropped off because I think I grew tired of making the call to keep in contact, and go through the perfunctory questions, so I would know more of the ‘in between’ stuff since we last spoke.     I’m also aware I have stayed away from one person who always seemed to ask me questions about the most painful subjects of my life.  When I got in touch with that fact, I ran –  not walked –  away, fully realizing making me reminisce painful times, certainly didn’t make me feel good.

Art Linkletter said years ago, “People are Funny!” – yes they are, and not always funny “ha ha”.  I think people like to hide.  They like to keep their little secrets so everything looks good on the outside.  My mother was like that, and I think that’s why I’m such the opposite.  The thing is, those of us who burrow into it, who, in my case, are only seeking to strengthen a friendship, not pry, feel instantly when a person is withholding.  Keep in mind, we all have free will to respond, “I think your question is too personal”, or “I’m not prepared to discuss this with you”, or something like that.

I think one of the greatest rewards to being open and forthcoming is the kind of friendship that can come from it.  I can’t help but think there must be a lot of pain inside a person who remains superficial with even those closest to them.  Some may say there has to be trust before one can be self-disclosing.  I’m not talking about sharing deep dark family secrets, opening up the closets where the skeletons are.  I’m just talking about sharing day-to-day living experiences and feelings – the kind we all have that are not at all threatening in the scheme of things – I don’t believe anyway.   I’ve always run the risk that what I say could cause a person not to like me.   Then, too, just the reverse could happen.  I repeat…HOW DOES ONE  GET TO REALLY KNOW SOMEONE?

It may not be about trusting the other person at all.  Instead, I think it’s more about acceptance of oneself.

What’s there to lose?  Maybe a really good friend like me!  And, for a fact, I need the same thing back!

Here’s to intimacy and authenticity and going for it – and settling for nothing less in return!  Blessed Be.