This aging business only allows for living in the NOW, so if you haven’t started practicing living in the NOW, I highly recommend that you begin. The words ‘every day is a new day’ have never been more true.
Since I turned 87, I’ve felt a definite shift in how I view myself and my abilities. I’ve come to realize I have to rely on my past words. i.e., I trust myself, I rely on my history, I have great Faith, keep on keeping on, there’s more than one way to look at something, there’s more than one way to do something…the list goes on.
It’s all too easy to become discouraged and even dumbfounded when it comes to almost every single thing I do these days! I don’t think I’ve ever come to grip with my age, until now. I still look in the mirror and said, “Gosh you look good for your age, girl!”, and I’ve never felt I was a candidate for a senior center! BUT, there’s no rushing anymore, showering takes twice as long, taking good care I don’t slip and fall. Making my bed is more work, and when it comes to pep and energy, I don’t have near enough! I have to ration out my ‘duties’. For instance, if I have to water outside (which takes a good 1/2 hour, and I do a good deal of walking), I’m not going to vacuum, and if I dust I do a room or two. There’s no such thing as having a cleaning day anymore. Everything is done piecemeal, all regulated by how much energy I have and how long I’m on my feet. Going to the grocery store is an accomplishment and I take the rest of the day off.
Make it clear, I’m not complaing, but it is what it is, and living this way just hasn’t been my style until now. It’s a huge adjustment for me. I’ve always been a hipshooter, took what came when I made my choices, and never looked back nor qustioned myself. Now, however, it seems I’m a whole new person (except in the brain) that’s learning everything all over again.
I’ve always been a morning person, and this meant I got up early and got everything done before lunchtime. I’m still a morning person, but I don’t get everything done before lunchtime anymore. I have to rethink and CHANGE…lots of CHANGE. There’s no blueprint for what I’m trying to describe. I’ve had to widen my perspective and my patience with myself as I route myself throughout the day. I don’t need a walker or cane, I tire very easily. I’m totally grateful I have good health. Living life these days is a conscious creative effort. I’ve never been so aware how new everything is.
All this being said, I am so very grateful for what I have and what I can do and what I enjoy. Aging allows me to inspect so many aspects of me and what I appreciate and it reinforces my resilience and desire to keep on finding solutions. I pleasantly surprise myself everyday and that’s a good thing.
The cup is still half-full, there is a silver lining and gold at the end of the rainbow. I’m blessed to live this long and have these experiences. Once the newness of what comes with aging settles down, I’m guessing I’ll have found my ‘new normal’ and keep on keeping on.
“Whenever you deeply accept this moment
as it is – no matter what form it takes – you
are still, you are at peace.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
Blessed Be. To All Be Blessed.
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