I don’t think that I have much fear. When I used to interview for a job, meet new people sometimes, I’d have feelings of anxiousness around outcome – I’d hope I’d get the job, or I’d hope ‘they’d like me’. Without question, I know I would have extreme fear if I were in physical danger. When I suffered through 7 years of extreme anxiety all those many years ago, I did indeed fear the onset of the debilitation that occurred. But now, I can look back on this as ‘a time in my life that I did come through and I hope it never occurs again.’ On a day-to-day existence, I do not pay much attention at all when it comes to a feeling of trepidation or of feeling afraid. I have told myself I have test-fear syndrome, so any ‘test’ at all (even the written drivers’ exam), hits my gut and it is very difficult for me. It’s my fear of failure at that level I guess. I also have a fear of heights. So, as I’m ‘therapizing’ myself, what a strange conundrum of thoughts I am presenting to myself!
I KNOW BETTER NOW! I declare my identity! I live out what I decide is going to be!
What sets up a person for fear? I look at this from the point of my own personal awareness. I cut a finger washing a glass years ago, and since then, have always been more careful to make sure my little finger isn’t rubbing round the rim that may have a chip (that’s how it happened). I got thrown off a horse when I was 47 and very nearly could have been killed, much less badly injured; however, the residual was that I had not been injured, and I ‘thought’ I was afraid to get up on another horse. But, when I was 55 I mounted a horse again, and found I wasn’t afraid after all. So, my brain (Ego) lies to me big time and keeps me from experiencing life to my absolute fullest joy!
I recently had 5 ‘strangers’ living with me in my home for almost two weeks and we all got along beautifully and there were absolutely no suspect feelings as we intermingled our lives while we attended the Celebrate Your Life event in Scottsdale, Arizona. So, what does this say to me? It tells me I place myself into circumstances that I wish to be a part of and when I do this, I am free of any misgivings and I trust myself and have faith in my decisions that I am doing what is right for me at the time. I had only feelings of wishing all would have a wonderful time staying with me, and that I would provide myself from my heart, which, indeed, I did.
How many times I say I enjoy the PRIVILEGE of living…and now more than ever I am getting in touch with what this really means to me. I am approaching 80 years old in April, and I’m investigating all the corners of my world trying to learn more about myself and others as well, that ultimately fulfills me and gives me peace and understanding.
I own nothing – no people, no things, when I transition to the other side. So, I own nothing now either. I am myself, and I do owe it to my Self to love myself absolutely, and treat myself and others with love and respect, do my best, and fill myself up with all the joy I can find as I honor my Creator – the Universe – that has supported my existence thus far and I believe, will continue to do so for eternity. Life changes moment to moment, and I can view it as an exciting time again and again, or I could ignore all the wonderment and deny my Higher Self the privilege of living my life to its potentially highest fulfillment . I choose what’s behind Door Number One!
Blessed Be to All.
Beautiful written piece how to conquer the fear by knowing that it is all Ego. Knowing this doesn’t mean it will go away. Still work in progress by facing your fears and go through it. Only then it will go away like foam on water. It is in the debts of the ocean where we find stillness. The same is said for humankind. The head is always troubled by worries and fear it is the depth within where we find the flow of love, peace and joy. All else is temporary and an illusion. The soul is an energy that doesn’t perish.
My dearest Jannette, finally we have this figured out! And, how grateful I am that I can read your words relative to my own. I think this is truly staying in the moment, then, as well. Without anticipation, or expectation, (even, perhaps hoping for an outcome) one is not collapsing into their fears of the projected unknown.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I so appreciate your input and interpretation. We enjoy such a fabulous discourse, don’t we! Love and Blessed Be to you and yours.
Jannette, I just saw this comment…a little late of me. Anyway, your comments are so sweet and sincere and kind and at the end, so very peace giving. You are surely my friend and ‘hear’ exactly what I am writing all the time. I’m grateful. Love, Kaye.