It’s important to me that I be as current and transparent as possible. This said, as I was meditating this morning, it came to me that I was feeling like I had to correct something. That I wasn’t feeling as calm as I want to be. And, the next thought was, what is wrong with my thoughts that is causing my ‘dis-ease’?
Who says there is anything wrong with my thoughts? ME! As I further cogitated, it came to me WHY IS IT I ALWAYS LOOK TO MYSELF AS THE CULPRIT? DOES THERE EVEN HAVE TO BE A CULPRIT?
I continued to let my thoughts wander…as this blog is like a journal, you as the reader, are witness to my process.
It occurred to me that I am not feeling like I am in chaos. I am not feeling that I am out of control, even though events around me are seemingly ‘not coming together so easily’. I am still pretty calm about it as a whole.
It appears that I am witnessing me in action… As if I am outside of myself observing my feelings and trying to identify what place “I” or “Kaye” has in the experiences.
Going deeper, I am now able to see there really is nothing ‘wrong’. It is what it is, and I am handling the outcomes as they unfold. This is such an unusual approach for me. I don’t think I have ever been quite so objective about the process of living, with me at the center. I am affirming myself in this process.
This is another facet of going with the flow, only I’m more aware of it right now. To be more clear: my car is still not running right, and today it will be towed away to another mechanic who will be working with the mechanic who has been diligently on it for several days. Thankfully, I can use my son’s other car which is here. I am healthy. My house is in order. The weather is slowly becoming cooler and I am able to do some yard work that I’ve been looking forward to doing. My conscience is clear. I count my Blessings and I am so grateful for what I have. I continue to enjoy the privilege of living my life and the journey. I am feeling myself coming into more conscious awareness. I am beginning to realize that just because I can observe that something may be disheveled, it doesn’t make it ‘wrong’ or problematic. It just requires me to come up with a satisfactory solution. I do not have to rile in the meanwhile. I love the way I’m thinking. I am so grateful for my resilience. I think I’ve said enough for now. This is the start of another wonderful day.
Blessed Be. Be Safe, Stay Well.
You aren’t quitting or retreating or caving
in when things aren’t going as planned.
It merely requires reassessing and relying upon your wholeness
to meet whatever you are required to do to keep moving forward. ~Gaya
Nice one ma’ I ve been following your stream of thought and yes you are a stream of joy and yes you re life itself. I enjoy reading from your experiences, I am a peace seeker too a meditator at my age 34.. And yes some days one wakes with a mix up emotion that could flame up ones thought thinking that somethings is wrong somewhere. well all it just need is to sit relax and observe the thought and the emotions and before one know it the soothing and calming emotions start taking it place.. I ve found to call it the energy of the day… Anyway stay strong as you walk your way to spiritual kingdom.
So much l9ve from my side of world
Dear Onuh, I am gratified by your supportive and encouraging comments. Thank you. I know we human beings have the same emotions, albeit they come from different experiences causing the emotions. If I have reached but one reader I have accomplished my purpose and enjoyment. I look forward to hearing from you again. Warmly, Kaye.