Who knew?…..My workbook of life affirms that all the conversations I’ve been having with myself for some several years have been working mini-miracles in my favor!

Every morning I look in the mirror and provide the daily pep talk with gusto!  First of all, it’s my affirmation that I’m alive and ‘pumpin’, and I really do think I’m doing well in many areas of my life and I’m proud I’m heartily keeping on keeping on!

Very recently I’m taking a new tact, and I’m looking at myself in the mirror as though I’m inside myself and observing me as I’d see myself from an onlooker’s point of view.  (This is difficult to put into words.)  This takes some concentration and fortitude because it’s inside my onion!

I have to keep on staring while I turn myself inside out and then very carefully look…and see what I have to see, not what I want to see!  For instance, I remember years ago when I was sitting in a therapist’s office  recounting a terribly awful personal event.  When I finished speaking, the therapist said to me something like, “Do you know while you were telling me your appalling and heartbreaking story, you had a smile on your face?”  What a jolt!  Talk about a mask!  On one hand I was telling the truth, and on the other hand I was masking my outside appearance to the world, trying to  hide my feelings about that truth!

This  From-The-Inside-Out approach really pushes me now to want to come clean.  There’s one thing about being honest when telling the story, but another for me to get to the gut-wrenching feelings of it.   I’m sharing a WOW moment.  This isn’t about confessing actions of which I’m not so proud, this is about hiding the destructive feelings inside me that keep me from becoming more whole.  This is about who I am, and who I want people to think I am.  Simply stated, I want to be who I really am!

I don’t see any Kodiak bear in front of me….and, I won’t be destroyed!   What I do see is I’ll try to achieve  more clarity and uncover more answers that will fill in some gaps of my beingness that I don’t even know exist!  This is wonderment time!  This is Kaye, Revelations, Ch. l, v. 1.    My unfoldment.

I’m prepared to stand in front of my full-length mirror from this day forward.  HAPPY DAY.

Yes, It’s Really Me