When I’m in a crowded place, like a grocery store, I have no attachment to any of the people milling around. We’re all there for the same purpose, and we’re directing ourselves to the various aisles where we pick up what we need and move along until we check out. If I can’t find something, I might ask a fellow shopper. That contact is short and purposeful. In any case, I haven’t relied upon anyone. There are services offered like carryout, and I use them if needed.
I find it interesting, however, when I think upon ‘friendship’…how and why it begins; how it maintains and flourishes; how the connection can form into an attachment, and then, without notice the friend(s) create an agenda. And the friendship silently shifts from one of enjoying each other’s company and mutual interests, to one of expectation favoring personal gain. Unknowingly and, perhaps, unwittingly, a person generously begins to present themselves in a ‘helpful’ manner…this could be monetarily, doing favors, just plain helpfulness, but in so doing, that person is also deepening reliance between the two of them.The recipient perceives nothing unusual other than the friendship strengthening.
Then, something happens: The recipient does something unexpected – nothing mean or devious – but the generous friend takes it very personally, and an eruption occurs. Apparently, the generous friend had become reliant upon the other friend for something that hadn’t been openly stated. This is a scenario which occurred with me.
There are business relationships and friend relationships and acquaintances. I happen to think when someone becomes ‘disappointed’ in someone else, they’ve perhaps relied too heavily upon that person. My friendships are in my inner circle. They are few and treasured. Everything that is exchanged between us is from the heart, with no expectation whatsoever. There is an open exchange of ideas, dreams and everyday drama. There is a continuous give-and-take between us, and no one feels they owe another anything in light of the friendship.
We are responsible for our feelings and our own actions. We are not responsible for the feelings of others. One can be easily manipulated if one does not understand and believe this. I think true friendships are formed between hearts, and much is willing to be overlooked in the name of that friendship.
Each time we examine ourselves we deliberately expand our conscious awareness.
This is a fearless and selfless act toward greater authenticity. ~ Gaya
Blessed Be. To All Be Blessed. Stay Safe.
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