I just completed what might seem to others  an easy, menial task …. just another thing to handle when one has window blinds….  but, for me, it was tedious,  frustrating and hard to manage with fingers that aren’t as agile as they used to be!  One of the strings connecting a slat had broken, and to retie it turned out to difficult.

I realize how grateful I am that I’m capable of attempting and persevering.   A  grand feeling accompanies self-satisfaction.    I’ve considered myself a pioneer woman all my adult life as it relates to trying to fix or repair something first, before asking or paying for help!

First attempts don’t scare me.  Every job I was hired to do, I had never done before.   Starting and maintaining my  business for 21 years was a first. Last Summer, I tackled replacing a section of gutter on the back of my house.  I had watched my friend/handyman install these originally; however, watching and helping isn’t the same as doing it oneself!  I viewed the instructional video on the internet, and first off it stated:  “This is not a one-person job!”    I used a ladder for the ‘other guy’!   This wasn’t easy.  It was a very hot day, and it took me the better part of 5 hours – taking breaks for water…  catching my breath… and mulling my frustration at how difficult it was – but, I did it!   I will never take on this project again – whether or not I think I can do it!  

It isn’t easy to peel my onion.  I know many others can do better and have achieved much more than I.  In the past I would search out accolades for my accomplishments.   Who does care what I do, how I do it or how I feel about it?!”  I CARE! 

 I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN MEASURE THE DEPTH OF DIFFICULTY, THE SELF-DOUBT I MIGHT FEEL, AND THE LEVEL OF ACCOMPLISHMENT I KNOW I HAVE ACHIEVED.

Self-satisfaction feels exactly the same as doing the right thing when nobody is watching, or performing an act of kindness and not mentioning it to anyone.  It is indeed A GRAND FEELING!

I conclude it’s a big mistake for me to make any kind of comparisons.  This steals my Joy!

‘Self’-satisfaction is an ‘inside job’.

Atta Girl!