Forgiveness

I have found out that the more I share  my life’s experience, the more others can relate to me.  We all have the same feelings, only the circumstances causing these feelings may be different.  I’ll call this “striking life’s chords” – and this kind of music that plays can bring me closer together with my fellow man.  It’s the ‘similarity’ not the ‘difference’ that’s meaningful.

I have a story:  When I was in my early twenties, I am ashamed to say I had very little respect for  fellow human beings!  I guess I was in high survivorship mode, and  I don’t claim any awards for my temperament nor the sarcasm that came out of my mouth.

By the Grace of God my lawyer, who was also my mentor in those years,  recognized my disparity and  extended his hand in friendship and faith in me, and made a simple request:  For a week, spend at least 5 minutes with whomever I spoke   –   an elevator operator (yes, this was way back when) , a cashier at the check-out,  someone standing on the corner waiting for the bus or street car,  a fellow passenger, and especially the file clerk in my office whom he had heard about more than enough!  He assured me after this experience, I would report each conversation had been interesting to me,   would come away with valuable  knowledge about each person with whom I spoke, and I would thoroughly have enjoyed  the time spent.  HE WAS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!   After this life changing exercise,  I slowly began seeing, hearing, respecting, learning from and VALUING others.  This was not an overnight success!   I had lived twenty-some years in a selfish and ignorant darkness. It has taken me many years  – experiencing ups and downs, failures and successes –  to begin to define the life pathway I am carefully and intentionally choosing for myself today.

As I have shared this story with you, I am again  extremely grateful for the help I received because it started me on the upward  path of straightening my life out while I learned, always by experience.  I try to have no place for guilt or shame.  I do acknowledge that as I am absolutely honest with myself – and  continuously trying to become my authentic self –  emotional freedom is my reward.   I am always working to ‘get there’… never to  ‘arrive’.   I know,  if I ever think I’ve finally “got it”, the Universe will promptly give me an adequate nudge to show me otherwise!  I’m beginning to think living my life is a process of repetition, acknowledging new information, accepting ongoing change, and working through challenges as they appear….always being grateful for everything I have and am privileged to experience.   Summarily, in this process  I know my best effort is good enough.

There is  incalculable joy and self-worth that inflates me with each truth I acknowledge to myself…..and if  any experience of mine can be eye-opening to another I’m happy to share it.

HALLOWEEN NEARS  AND YET ANOTHER MASK REMOVED!

BOO!!

BOO!!   It’s not that scary!

My interpretation…  my “nod”, if you will…. forms who I am and what I think.

All these many years I have anointed a select few with my ‘respect’ and credited them with enlightening me, correcting my path,  and caring enough for me to bother to  ‘try’ to reach me.   I now know that it is every single event, happy or sad, devastating, painful or joyful, and every single person in my life, that  are responsible for bringing me to  who I am today and whom I will become in the future.  I am a fluid being, growing all the time, learning all the time and loving all the moments of the student/teacher circle of my life.

I now can feel compassion, forgiveness, and am moving toward love, for those who did not have my best interests at heart and I feel sorry that they had to go to such lengths to fulfill their path of learning, and at the same time, I am grateful they were the teachers in my path of learning.  By the same token, I forgive myself for having strode my path at anyone else’s expense and I’m saddened I was at such a low ebb in my life at those times.   I have suffered my own pain as a result of my choices, and I’m more than aware I’ve experienced myriad life’s learnings the hardest of ways!

No question, when I began to trust my own intuits, I entered the world of my Spirituality, my Quest for meaning of my Creator, my Universe, my Being here, my Lessons , my Joys and my Gratitude, as they all relate to me and those I encounter in this world… in this time.

Keeping my own counsel is a huge intention for me because I’m a talker and a writer.  I know this is the right time in my life to present my Blog.  I’m experiencing a wonderful journey of expressing and receiving new learning.  I’m finding out I am who I am  for TODAY.    Life is about change, and I’m experiencing great comfort as I open and explore  unknown horizons.   I now trust my heart and my soul….my all-knowing Essence.

My friend is an artist….she painted a rock for me when she was here.  I see  Sun, Sky, Clouds, Seagulls, and Water.

I feel, ENLIGHTENMENT and FREEDOM!

 

Enlightenment and Freedom.

Not Your Ordinary Rock!