Honesty

I get up in the morning, and the first thing I think is something like, “What am I going to do today?”  Simple enough – I live alone, so if the fire gets started, I’m the one to light it, right?

Thoughts”…..I’m poking  deeper  now.  Does the Universe put thoughts in my head first?  Or, do I start that ball rolling?  Chicken?  Egg?   I’m going to pick ME!  I’m thinking my day is literally up for grabs.  I hear the news on  TV- no staying power so far. While sitting at my computer,  my eyes make a cursory  turn of the room.  I’m perking –  two cups of coffee helps!  Well, now, I’m feeling happy, enthusiastic for my day – whether I’ve planned anything so far or not.  I’m a very early riser, and it’s still pitch dark outside.  So?  Nothin’ yet!

Let’s change format.  What do I want to do today?  Ah, now, this puts some ‘snap’ into it!

I wonder how children begin to learn how to motivate themselves? Parents spend a lot of time and money planning activities for them. Schools offer countless choices of sports to join.  After hours, parents fill  ‘spare’ time and weekends with movies, bowling, theme parks, shopping…and the list goes on.   Shuttling kids between activities must be exhausting…the more kids, the more exhaustive for everyone?     When does anyone get a break?

Back to me!  I have just given precious thought-power/energy to a subject that doesn’t affect me in the slightest way!   LOOKING OUTSIDE MYSELF….Apparently,  because I am not successful in planning my day thus far,  I have allowed my thoughts a life of their own!

Thought-power.  I just spent precious time and energy exerting  power of my mind and in so doing, I actually delayed structuring  my day!    How much time do I waste in senseless or wistful thoughts looking outside myself?   There are minimum 16 hours every day that I am privileged to spend using my creative brain toward constructive, joy-producing thoughts for myself or others around me.

Albeit a self-chiding lesson,   MY BRAIN HAS ALL IT CAN DO TO CONCENTRATE ON ME AND MY OWN BUSINESS OF LIVING AND BEING AND DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN FOR MYSELF AND OTHERS AROUND ME. 

Conclusion:  I have nothing to do with kids’ self-motivation,  their activities nor how their day is structured or how frazzled parents may become in doing it!  I  have everything to do with  keeping my thoughts out of others’ affairs!

The shoe fits!  Twinge of Truth.  Blessed Be.

I have found out that the more I share  my life’s experience, the more others can relate to me.  We all have the same feelings, only the circumstances causing these feelings may be different.  I’ll call this “striking life’s chords” – and this kind of music that plays can bring me closer together with my fellow man.  It’s the ‘similarity’ not the ‘difference’ that’s meaningful.

I have a story:  When I was in my early twenties, I am ashamed to say I had very little respect for  fellow human beings!  I guess I was in high survivorship mode, and  I don’t claim any awards for my temperament nor the sarcasm that came out of my mouth.

By the Grace of God my lawyer, who was also my mentor in those years,  recognized my disparity and  extended his hand in friendship and faith in me, and made a simple request:  For a week, spend at least 5 minutes with whomever I spoke   –   an elevator operator (yes, this was way back when) , a cashier at the check-out,  someone standing on the corner waiting for the bus or street car,  a fellow passenger, and especially the file clerk in my office whom he had heard about more than enough!  He assured me after this experience, I would report each conversation had been interesting to me,   would come away with valuable  knowledge about each person with whom I spoke, and I would thoroughly have enjoyed  the time spent.  HE WAS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!   After this life changing exercise,  I slowly began seeing, hearing, respecting, learning from and VALUING others.  This was not an overnight success!   I had lived twenty-some years in a selfish and ignorant darkness. It has taken me many years  – experiencing ups and downs, failures and successes –  to begin to define the life pathway I am carefully and intentionally choosing for myself today.

As I have shared this story with you, I am again  extremely grateful for the help I received because it started me on the upward  path of straightening my life out while I learned, always by experience.  I try to have no place for guilt or shame.  I do acknowledge that as I am absolutely honest with myself – and  continuously trying to become my authentic self –  emotional freedom is my reward.   I am always working to ‘get there’… never to  ‘arrive’.   I know,  if I ever think I’ve finally “got it”, the Universe will promptly give me an adequate nudge to show me otherwise!  I’m beginning to think living my life is a process of repetition, acknowledging new information, accepting ongoing change, and working through challenges as they appear….always being grateful for everything I have and am privileged to experience.   Summarily, in this process  I know my best effort is good enough.

There is  incalculable joy and self-worth that inflates me with each truth I acknowledge to myself…..and if  any experience of mine can be eye-opening to another I’m happy to share it.

HALLOWEEN NEARS  AND YET ANOTHER MASK REMOVED!

BOO!!

BOO!!   It’s not that scary!