Introspection

Talk about an open-ended question!  “What do you want to make of it?”  And, then again, what a powerful suggestion:  YOU CAN MAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO MAKE OF ANYTHING!

I absolutely believe my mind’s thoughts create my world.   I am living one way or another by virtue of my perception of what is around me or presented to me.  Another absolute, as far as I’m concerned, is whatever I say and think comes from inside of me.  So, whatever I am up to, one way or another, is preceded by what is inside of me!  To admit and agree to this necessarily abides total responsibility for where I am at any given time in my life, my day, my thoughts, my happiness, my sadness, my satisfaction or dissatisfaction to everything.

If I have disorder in my mind, I have disorder in my life.  It follows this has not only to do with general orderliness in my home, but also the quality of my restfulness and peace and happiness in my day-to-day living.  I know I have written a blog or two on how  letting my mind wander into territory which has not one thing to do with my well being keeps me from tending to fluidity of my spirit.  I want a healthy spirit, mind and body.  I want to live a Spiritual Practice  of my Faith in what I believe to be the ground-rules of my existence.

If I don’t provide myself direction, where will I find myself at any given time?  If I am learning lessons along my pathway of spiritual questing, do I not owe myself the benefit of these lessons to be using them as I keep on keeping on?   My answer to these questions is, this is the Power I have!  

Living in the NOW requires  an immediacy of action without premeditation.  It takes intentional acceptance within Self  that I am able to provide intentional organizational response and this, in turn, assures connection to my Gaya, which is always in abeyance of my heart’s desires toward wholeness.

What is my Bottom Line?  I am a part of all Greatness of the Universe.  I came to be here in this NOW with aim and purpose, to experience everything I can that fills me up, and never diminish what I already am.

Together, We are Alpha and Omega for eternity.  We are each journey chosen. We are as deep as you wish to go. We are the sunrise and sunset.  We are inseparable.  We Are.               ~Gaya

“We” make “It”!

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

I

 

Forget the masks!  They’re chicken feed compared to what I’m uncovering now!  I don’t want to be a fighter anymore!  I don’t want to be a defender of who I am, anymore!  I do want to be A “softie”…I have absolutely nothing to fear and I know this NOW!

To all who may have followed me thus far, we know when I declare “I am a strong woman”,  this is more than an identity I have given to myself.  It is the beginning of ‘the greatest defense to a good offense!’  I am fitting my own battle of Jericho!

Because of a series of events recently in my life, and profound awakening  I now recognize and acknowledge, I am ready to get down to the WHYS and WHAT happened way back when in my childhood that taught me how to put up The Great Wall….never to be devastated to that extent again!

 I’ve been so tightly wound up, it is like a riddle of my own life if I’m ready to unwind myself back to ‘wherever’…and as I write these words, I am smiling and cradling myself in my own arms, knowing everything is quite okay and peaceful wherever I find myself landing.

Vulnerable…Naked…Bare…Defenseless.   I am now more able to share this space with  Nonchalant…Relaxing into it…resting in the lesson(s) that are offered me now to my greatest peace of all!

Suddenly, weights have lifted; so much seems ridiculously simple and easy to discard; it’s like I have just said to myself, “”WOW, how could this have been so simple, and how is it that it has taken me 80+ years to get to this place?!”

Keep it Simple!  YES!  Just Do it!  YES!  It Doesn’t Matter!  YES!  Inner Peace!  YES!   To Absolutely Know what ‘GO WITH MY FLOW’ really means!  YES!  Yes, Oh Yes, I Know what ‘IT IS BETWEEN ME AND ME’ means NOW!  YES!  And the list goes on.

It’s my way to explode with what I feel at the time – and this blog is no exception.  It’s not the be-all-end-all with all my answers, NO IT IS NOT!  But, it is my willingness to crack open my human shell and again, peer through myself to that other side where there may just be nothing…other than my mind’s view…my own thoughts which I have created justifying my existence.  Even this doesn’t really matter in the long run.   I hope I will soon learn there is no need to raise my voice again.  I hope I will soon learn there are times I can easily be quiet.  And, I hope I will always enjoy the privilege of using my voice to speak my truth in my own space in this time.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

I love this picture of myself – some may recognize the area of the country, Sedona, Arizona.  It represents who I am to ME!  I love horses, days of the Old West, and above all, I feel FREE in the Wide Open Spaces!

I’m recognizing a space within me that is trying very hard to emerge…a place where I want to feel more compassion toward others as well as myself.  We all have this wonderful emotion, but for some of us, it lays deep, almost dormant.  Why?  Because the art of survival closed off this place as we worked our way through more difficult times of our lives – Speaking for myself, of course.

All these many years later, I am fully aware I no longer have any need to survive, but instead,  have a NEED to unearth my compassion and love so I can envelope my own Self in this warmth of my soul.  I’m realizing that even though I have forgiven others as well as myself through the years, there are ‘chips’ … residue of certain downed trees of my life… that have remained.  This blanket of chips restricts me from  living out complete inner warmth toward everything within and without and around my whole being.   It is only now that I have been able to get in touch with this part of ME.  It is the place where all of the daintiest, most intimate of my experiences have been kept for safekeeping – until now –  when I am capable and willing to resurrect them so they may take their sacred place in my heart where I may nurture them in the sunlight of my privilege of living my life.  This desire to enlarge my heart space toward compassion is  compelling, and I am deliberately  drawing my awareness to these wonderful feelings.    Clearly, this destiny outweighs all else.

I recently spoke in a video of the place of joy that I discovered within myself, and this is yet another awareness toward fulfilling a joyous aspect of human existence, and I’m touching my essence.  I feel my connection with Self.

I have no axes to grind, I want no chips on my shoulders that weigh me down from the pleasures of my full life.  I am demanding release from my emotional blindness.

My Open Spaces are Wider and I  savor this newly introduced Freedom. Blessed Be.

 

This is coming off the top of my salt ‘n pepper head!

I’m always introspecting something, that’s just me!  I wake up every morning with an abounding energy that lasts until around 11:30 A.M.  If I’m going to get anything done it has to be done before then…..thinking included.

This morning during my brain picking, for some reason I equated it to flower picking!  When I pick flowers, NEVER would I consider choosing dead or wilting flowers for my bouquet.  Yet, when I’m thinking I don’t even think twice about whether or not I want to pick up a good memory or a bad one or a ‘story’ that isn’t even reality, which I call “worry”!

Sometimes I zero in on ‘Other’:  Anyone else in memory shot…. Inner  or Outer Circle, no matter.   This direction of thinking brings me to focusing on others’  business – not my business – and before I know it, I can unwittingly conjure  a litany of issues – again, not my business – that apparently I’d rather dwell upon than turn my thoughts around and nit pick myself and my business!

My brain is an indiscriminating fertile ground of information…not necessarily facts…and if I don’t stay on top of what I take from it when I’m sourcing my introspection, I can bring myself off track and ultimately cause myself undue emotional discord and before I know it I’ve used up perfectly good energy that provides no pleasure to me, nor does it extend my spiritual learning curve!  In fact, it is destructive and undermining to my integrity and the person I want to be.

This is another definition of living (and thinking) mindfully!

I’m going to do a better job of nipping my thoughts in the bud (no pun intended).

Life is a bouquet to my senses:  A perfume that permeates my Soul when I supply the mindful groundwork, and a fresh gathering of beautiful thoughts that I cultivate, fertilize and tend, so the  bountiful feelings of Peace, Gratitude, Joy, Love, and Presence to my own Life and my own World will always be in perfect order.

Tulips

Beautiful Thoughts For The Picking

 

I kept my rat alive all these years.  I fed it and nurtured it like a pet.   Until  now, I was willing to forego my own happiness and joy and peace of mind… my own creativity and ability to love and be compassionate toward myself, much less others!   I was obsessed with self-perpetuated issues in my life…. repeating the same thinking and behavior over and over again and expecting I was going to achieve a different result!  That’s the definition of insanity!

My testimony is that I’ve been trying for many years to become a better person….a happier person, a person nicer to myself and others, a person who faces the facts of my life as honestly as possible and accepts responsibility for my participation in outcomes.  My efforts have paid off!

“Too Soon Old…Too Late Smart”  isn’t true!  It’s never too late  if I have a desire to make changes in me!  All of these obsessive thoughts have been about circumstances or people I can’t change!  I can only  change  myself and my perceptions. 

Finally, and without notice, my rat eased off and walked away from the wheel.  I’ve tossed that wheel away, and I hope I have the continued good sense never to run  ’round and ’round aimlessly again.

Live and Let Live!

I Love Poppies! I Love Life!

I Love Poppies! I Love Life!

 

 

I’ve been a big picture thinker!  I tend to see the end result… I’m usually not concerned with the steps I have to take to get there!  This  forms my dreams, goals and optimism, and gathers my momentum to move forward.  I’m a risk taker, trust myself, and have faith in my abilities.  Admittedly, a certain amount of naiveté accompanies this kind of thinking.

The bad choices I’ve made in my life had nothing to do with an end result….they were spontaneous and thoughtless and this careless behavior was a  testament to whom I was at the time, not whom I wanted to become!

I seem to identify my life in terms of events – sad and happy times, marriages, divorces, births, deaths, friendships made and lost, moving in and out-of-state, changing jobs, etc.  But,  this big picture thinking  omits surrounding circumstances that qualify these events……”Just the facts, ma’am.”

I’ve been thinking of  folks who have responded to me on Facebook,  my recent adventure.   Some of these people were in my life over 25 years ago!  They connected with me as though it was yesterday, in heartfelt ways that made me feel fondly remembered, liked, even loved.  I had lost sight of the value of their peripheral presence in those days that had dovetailed into my experiences.

Clearly, I haven’t treasured my whole life story.   In retrospect, I can see that I’ve focused on a small picture and have ignored the integral weavings of affection, caring support, understanding and fellowship….  the background music that has provided the basis for my symphonic life!

A rock in and of itself is just a rock!  A rock amongst others in a garden of colorful flowers,  fountains and statues is a thing of beauty.

I want to savor the whole cherry,  bright red, the crunch between my teeth as I bite into it,  and the sweet tartness as it reaches my palate….. while I’m removing the pit!  A Whole Picture Thinker!

Yep!

Yep!