Reality

I DON’T LIKE COMPLAINING AND I DON’T LIKE COMPLAINERS!

Each person has their own brand of quarreling when it comes to their individual happiness.

I lived on the desert when I first moved to Arizona, 27 years ago…I liked the houses far apart.  I happen to like the ranchy look – hay bales, chickens in the yards, an old relic tractor standing out front and other memories of ‘how the west was won’ – maybe a wagon wheel (off a covered wagon, I hoped), and a horse barn topped it all off.  Soon enough contractors bought up lots of the land and before I knew it, housing developments started creeping in and ‘the look’ was gone.  At that time this was, perhaps, the most important thing happening in my life.  This may appear pretty shallow to some, but we’re speaking of my individual happiness here.  There was nothing I could do about the encroachment.  Another reason took me away, but for a fact, looking back those many years, I couldn’t have remained because the landscape changed more than I wanted to.

So, I come to this:  When I am disgruntled or dissatisfied with something, do I make a scene about it?  I’ve never questioned whether my behavior challenged any amendments of the United States Constitution.  I guess I’ve always felt I was free to do and say what I wished, trying not to cross personal boundaries (admittedly guilty at times), or violate laws.  Many have cautioned me through the years to keep my opinions to myself, insinuating that my opinions may cause dissension among family members, perhaps, or maybe just plain embarrassment for others.  I don’t believe I ever felt I was challenging ‘the establishment’.  Exercising who I was as a person was never a ‘statement of my freedom privilege’.

These days I am trying first to be true to myself, to my ideals, my principles, my integrity.  Since my son took his life almost 6 years ago, I became more serious about almost everything that pertained to me.  I became even more introspective.  I began to subjectively take areas of my life that I knew I disliked, and I decided to do whatever it took to make the changes within myself that would benefit me and everyone around me.  This is work, but it’s worth it.  I’ll tell you something – there really hasn’t been much time for my mind to be distracted by others’ drama (and there’s plenty to notice) while I keep my nose to my own grindstone.

Many defend their actions based on principle.  It’s everyone’s right to defend their principles.  The question is, does it have to be a public statement?  Or, can it be no different than when we do a good deed for another when no one is watching and we don’t mention it later either?  Can it be done in the confines of our home as we teach our children what we think is right and honorable?

Everything we do gives us learning lessons.  Human beings have been living by the trial-and-error method forever.  It seems we can be very stubborn and self-absorbed.  Thankfully, there seems to be evidence of a slight shift of the heart.  Are people finally beginning to see the dynamic between their level of self-love and self-care as it relates to their ability and level of care and concern that they are capable of having for anyone else around them?  Unmistakably there is the correlation, and no attempted change of anything on the outside can happen until change on the inside takes place.

I have so many ideals and ideas I want to consider, all to the end of my own self-fulfillment and awareness around my privilege of living the best life I can live.  I’m proactive for me.  I am no stoic.  I am a freedom fighter and I have never felt my rights have been violated.

I think it is a huge privilege of life in these United States to earn hundreds of thousands – even millions – of dollars a year, playing the sport one loves to play.  I’ve never heard of any racial discrimination toward anyone who can play the game exceptionally well.

Personal decorum, decency and dignity – very personal, indeed.  I am entitled to my opinions, and I make no judgment –   neither does Karma.  Blessed Be All.

 

  

We’ve heard about many who  ‘ponder the meaning of life’, right?  This topic has been intellectualized far too much by far too many in my estimation.  Why don’t people ponder their own lives?  After all, that’s what we know most about isn’t it?

I know myself better than anyone ever has or ever will – this includes my parents, sibling, husbands or best friends (but with one exception, perhaps, my Messenger and deep friend, Jannette Hoeksema).  I’ve never conveyed power over me to anyone, but in Jannette’s case, I have allowed a self-initiated invasion of my deepest privacy whether it be events in my life, or my emotions and pains through which I have learned my lessons to this very day.

Everyone should find an accountability partner.  Someone whom they can explode in front of – not in rage, but with authenticity and consistency and honesty – for the sake of absolute personal freedom to be who they are without fear of criticism or recrimination.

There was a time,  a glove was slapped across a face inviting a duel, in the name of Honor. Men chose death, upholding that honor…was it ego?  Who can know.  Heroics have been witnessed when a civilian,  or in wartime, an individual has jumped in the face of death to save another, or many, without regard to personal welfare.  There was Honor in those hearts to be sure.

Where is my honor?  Is it synonymous with integrity.  I might say so.  The first blog I ever wrote had to do with addiction.  I openly admitted I had beaten the addictions of alcohol and pills known as ‘uppers’ or ‘speed’.  That said, I also stated (I’m sure in the name of my Honor)”… Proudly, I’ve conquered these addictions – but I’m always keeping both eyes open – never to forget my self esteem and self respect are on the line!…”

Self esteem and self respect are huge honorable descriptive traits and this must be felt inside.  But, before I could feel it inside of me, I had to make a conscious commitment to make some changes and then uphold these actions, whereupon I then began to feel self esteem and self respect because I was keeping my promise to myself  and I never took that promise, nor the reasoning behind it, anything less than serious.

Too much talking, too little doing, not enough pondering of our own life.  We talk about things we can do nothing about, and we  complain about things in our lives that we can do everything about.  What is it?  Personal cowardice, laziness, lying, exaggeration,  small talk, superficiality, insincerity, boredom, procrastination or…wait for it…just plain wasting all-too-precious time of our lives!

I’ve shown my heroics and daring to state how I feel about what people are up to and not up to in their lives.  Personally, I am not affected because these time-wasters aren’t my type.  BUT SOCIALLY our children may be at high risk, and our world most definitely is at risk.  If human beings don’t start getting more serious about who they are, how they think, how important their lives are and their responsibilities to themselves and ultimately to this world, WHAT ON EARTH DO WE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO AS A SOCIETY?

It is no wonder I show impatience from time to time.  No judgment here, but as the ecologists keep telling us, it is absolutely wrong to pollute our planet, I also believe it is absolutely wrong to dismiss oneself and the importance of having been created on this planet.   Everyone owes it to mankind to try to be the best they can be for themselves and as we intermingle, we all reap the benefits of honoring Self.

There is nothing to prove to another human being… there is everything to prove to one Self.  Blessed Be All.

 

 

 

Yesserie!…The only Devil I acknowledge is my Ego!  It’s never up to any good as far as I know!  When I’m going backward …. back to my ‘old ways’… I know that diabolical troublemaker has a big hand in whatever is poking it’s ugly head out from under the sand where I thought I dug it in for good!

Especially now, when I’m trying to get a better handle on becoming the person I want to be…when I think I might  be getting the hang of it, so to speak….Then, without warning I find myself in a pickle!

Case in point:   I wrote a blog, “By Hook or By Crook… I Want Off!”  I talked  about the ‘show-off’ stage I had placed myself on for years…and how I had come to grips with the fact I no longer wanted to behave like this nor suffer the accompanying stress!   As I wrote this blog I was so relieved to have recognized this less than desirable trait and was eager to cast it aside!  YET, lo and behold, I discovered I have traded platforms!  Now I’m ‘on’ when I log in to Facebook!   Most every morning I have been posting an ‘attraction’ on my Timeline – as if anyone really is interested in my comings and goings! – as if anyone really cares how I turn a phrase!  I can’t believe I fell back into that trap!   I know I’m beating myself up over this, but authenticity is critical to me, and the last thing I want to present in my blogs is material that doesn’t reflect my sincerity of effort as I continue to fulfill my spiritual quest….  offering my personal experiences along the way.  This is about my Self-worth and Self Confidence!  I already feel better  for having acknowledged this.  (I’m reminded of yet another blog I authored, “Self Satisfaction – It’s Between Me and Me!”…Yes, I get it now, and I have the referenced  ‘Grand Feeling’ once again.)

FULL  GRATITUDE  TO MY UNIVERSE!….  MY CREATOR!….MY INTUIT THAT I TRUST NOW MORE THAN EVER!  THANK GOD FOR THIS REMINDER!

BE GONE EGO!!!…. WHOSE FINAGLING STRENGTHS INTERFERE WITH MY BEING WHOM I KNOW I WANT TO BE.

Aside:    I like the way I write my blogs –  they are inspired.    After I’ve written and published,  The Universe punctiliously offers a life experience to put me to the test of my truth!    I’m so grateful for this life opportunity and I will not intentionally be anyone less than my shared experiences and feelings.

Always Around When I Need Her

Always Around When I Need Her

Yakety Yak!…… YaDaYaDaYaDa!…..  For more years than I’d care to admit, I’ve been talking to myself aloud – and enjoying these conversations – one-sided as they are!    My subject matter is mostly generic and scripted, i.e., “You’re not lookin’ bad at all for 78!” or “What are we planning to do today?”, or “You did a good job at that!”, etc.   My discovery of  late is  I haven’t taken advantage of the REAL opportunity this nebulous activity offers me below the surface of my emotions!

I’m mindful of a kind of “Self-Talk” that emits negative messages that scar and cripple the Spirit..always pulling the Self down at every chance!  The words of self-loathing, disrespecting the Self so deeply, it cannot love or be loved, often spiraling downward to  ultimate  despair and loneliness and pain of Heart.   When I consider  my issues that need healing, it makes good sense for me to use all this ‘lonely energy’ and deliberately CHOOSE TRUTHFUL CONTENT for the  MESSAGES I’M GIVING TO MY  ‘SELF’ and transform these  conversations into  healing nuggets that can strengthen and give me peace.

CHOICE AND CONTENT

I know  I am essentially Good.  I  know that I am not lesser than any other human being.   If I feel otherwise, I am lying to myself!  Until now,  I have allowed myself to remain misguided, instead of correcting my thoughts or feelings that promote discomfort and  dis-ease.   The truth is,  such feelings are baseless…they are lies with a life of their own inside me,  which will continue to wreak havoc on my future peace, joy and happiness,  until I examine my dialogue  and, when necessary, root these untruths out and replace them with honest, supportive  commentary.

 I will  strive to have only affirmative ‘Self discussions’ with deliberate intent!   After all, who knows me better than ME!

There is no time like the present and I am ready!    On My Mark…Get Set…GO!

 I’LL BE COMING ‘ROUND THE CORNER FROM THE INSIDE….BUT AT THE FINISH LINE I’LL BE ON THE OUTSIDE!

Power lines on a blue sky

Can I Hear Me?  Can I Hear Me?

                         

 

Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be giving credit to  Facebook for the  “teachers” whom I’ve encountered through their words.  I’ve  expressed myself in response… learned and integrated the likeminded ideas…. and finally, but without end, figured out  I like where I am today!

For an eternity  I’ve yearned for that beyond where I AM.  This kind of thinking isn’t so much about “things”, it’s more about being some place else….another house…another landscape…another massive project I haven’t been able to consider where I am!   I’ve been thinking “repairs” where I live now,  not enhancement, or development, or beautification.  Interestingly,  these very words are what I use when I look outside my environ when I consider what I would do with something or some place new!

This admission  is so big – almost overwhelmingly forthright and honest, I’m brought to my knees!  It has punched me in my gut!  What I’ve felt as dissatisfaction….. dis-ease, if you will… is really misinterpretation.   “Not Seeing the Forest for the Trees”!

Talk about an Ah Ha Moment!  This is an explosion of my mind!  It’s all about happiness, gratitude and relief, my personal Eureka!,  freedom and release from inhibiting, restrictive thoughts and ideas.

Another gate has opened up…I can see more of what “it” IS!

ANOTHER PIECE TO MY LIFE’S PUZZLE FITS INTO PLACE!

Step On It...Get On With It...Happiness Is....

Step On It…Get On With It…Happiness Is….