Self-talk

There is No Rhyme… But There is Always a Reason!

June 14, 2018 / / Faith and Trust, I AM WHO I AM, Life and Living, Living in the NOW, Me

So something begins to stir inside of me…what is that, anyway?  It’s that ‘same old feeling’ that I get for EVERYTHING when I know something isn’t quite right, and it is up to me to figure out where it fits and what it means in MY LIFE!

Well Oh Well, let’s just figure it out together!  I’ve defined this feeling before.  It’s like I’m guilty of something, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t do or say anything to feel guilty about!  So, I’m already getting to it…This morning someone said something to me which MY EGO picked up faster than the speed of sound  and I’m feeling insecure, not so sure of myself, about most everything that I’m doing online!  I’m also hearing myself say,   “There’s more, Kaye”…I’m feeling inadequate with a friend.

Oh boy, Kaye…just a minute… what did you write in one of your books about this:

An excerpt from my first book,  Unbridled Commentary…Without Flinch (FROM A WOMAN OF YEARS IN THE ‘MIDDLE OF HER LIFE) , “Love Me…Love Me Not?, You’d think after reading this far that I’d have all the answers down pat when it comes to who I AM, what I think of myself, where my self-esteem throttles, and how my confidence stabilizes most of the time…WELL, I’M STILL WORKING ON IT!…..I believe the Ego is the devil! It doesn’t serve me well.  It causes me to have doubts and question ME, the very one I trust, have faith in, and in whose strength I rely!….I have a ‘kicker test’:  Whenever I have any doubt about any opinion I support as my truth or any decisions I have made in my behalf, or when I am worrying about what anyone else might think about me or my actions, IT’S MY EGO undermining me!  Yes, folks, for me, this is it in a nutshell! This is my story and I’m sticking to it!  I love me, and if I love me, I trust me, and have faith in what I know are my life truths, and I make decisions based on this strong faith.  THIS IS THE LAST TIME I AM PICKING THE PETALS OFF A DAISY!”

There you have it my friends.   ‘We’ came to my answer.  It didn’t take us so long, and ‘that feeling’ has left me and I am as confident as ever and I am on my right track once again!

I AM SO GRATEFUL I don’t cower to myself when I’m at this ONION PEELING!  I have welcome tears flooding my eyes letting me know “I’ve still got it!”  I am in tune with Source Energy!  I persevere to ‘BE’,  TO BE FREE.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

P.S.  If you haven’t already, take my first book, it’s the FREE one! You might even decide to buy the second one (smile).

Self-Fulfillment…Oh, What a Beautiful Morning, Oh What a Beautiful Day!

April 21, 2018 / / Life and Living, Self-fulfillment

…And a Good Morning it Is!…And a Good Day it Will Be!  When I feel Self-fulfilled, I Feel the Joy and I Feel the Peace!

I’m breaking into the crust of what Self-fulfillment means to me when I Put My Intention to Doing what I Need to Do to Feel It!  It’s all about choice!

I’m meditating now with ritual.  What this means is that I am following through with a commitment to myself which I made after the 21-day meditation experience with Oprah and Deepak.  I commented online after one of the sessions that I was going to include meditation in my daily routine…and this was because I was feeling the positive results early on.  I wrote down all of the thoughts for the day, and the mantras so I am following that…and this is providing me guidance.

When I hoofed this morning it came to me that when I have truly felt self-fulfilled in my lifetime (and most of these times were when I completed projects…and, of course, the highlight of the feeling was when I birthed my sons) I didn’t have to go for the same experience again! 

Let’s take the first time I refinished a piece of furniture.  This was years and years ago when I was raising my sons, and had very little extra money, so when I wanted to ‘see something different’ in my home, I couldn’t just go buy something from a store to augment my rooms…I had to think of a way I could do it with what I already had.  I could afford a can of ‘zip-strip’ to take off furniture finish, and either paint or apply color stain for my ‘new look’.  That ‘first time’ was like none other! I worked extraordinarily hard because I had no past experience, and I followed the directions to a ‘T’. Everything was an unknown.  I was certainly in the NOW and didn’t even know it!  When the final coat dried and I sat back and admired my work…I was overcome with pride of accomplishment.  I loved everything about it, and the absolute glow within myself of self-achievement and the self-fulfillment that accompanied my whole idea in the first place was ENOUGH FOR ME.  There wasn’t any compliment I subsequently received  that came close to my knowing what I had done and how wonderful I felt about my tenacious attitude toward the hard work to get the job done and looking so good.

Since that time I’ve completed many similar projects, and of course, felt self-fulfilled. When I start out a project I already know I can do the job and I know I’ll love the result. I’m not needing that feeling again…I’m loving the ‘hobby of it”.

I’m trying new things these days…new approaches, new logic.  This is about my eating habits, folks.  I’m experimenting with just what choice(s) I can make as I go for some ‘thing’ or some ‘way’ of doing something.  I’m extraordinarily aware of  how I’m thinking about it…and the cream is rising to the top, slowly but surely.  I’m realizing how wonderful I really do feel when I make a deliberate choice to do something that I know is to my best interest and good and ‘feelings about myself’.   Case in Point:  Each day that I have been making such deliberate experience choices, I am creating a snowballing effect of the feeling of self-fulfillment.  My thoughts are not about depriving myself…my thoughts are how I’m thriving and about how capable I am looking after myself….I am feeling the power…I am feeling the joy of taking the reins deliberately!

This is about ME PUTTING INTO ACTION THE WOMAN I AM, THE PERSON WHO IS CONFIDENT OF SELF, THE PERSON WHO KNOWS I CAN MAKE GOOD DECISIONS FOR MYSELF…MOREOVER, I WANT TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS FOR MYSELF!  

I AM FILLING MYSELF UP WITH DELIBERATE THOUGHTS AND CORRESPONDING CHOICES  SO I CAN BE THE VERY BEST I CAN BE…ONE THOUGHT AT A TIME…ONE DAY AT A TIME…AND I AM ABSOLUTELY AWARE THESE DELIBERATE THOUGHTS AND CHOICES ARE RESONATING DEEPER AND DEEPER INTO MY SPIRITUALLY AWAKENING SELF…MY SOUL SELF…ONE-TIME THOUGHTS AND SELF-FULFILLING FEELINGS THAT ONLY I CAN GIVE TO MYSELF FOREVERMORE.  

I know this much:  When I have an AUTHENTIC SELF-FULFILLING EXPERIENCE, I DON’T HAVE TO REPEAT THAT EXPERIENCE AGAIN.   I JUST WANT TO KEEP ADDING MORE CREAM TO THE CAKE…LOVING MYSELF MORE AND MORE!

The more self-confident I become, the more authentic and less vulnerable I AM.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

I Am Not In A Rush! Angels Have No Fear!

November 22, 2016 / / Life and Living

I don’t think that I have much fear.   When I used to interview for a job, meet new people sometimes, I’d have feelings of anxiousness around outcome – I’d hope I’d get the job, or I’d hope ‘they’d like me’.  Without question, I know I would have extreme fear if I were in physical danger.    When I suffered through 7 years of extreme anxiety all those many years ago, I did indeed fear the onset of the debilitation that occurred.  But now, I can look back on this as ‘a time in my life that I did come through and I hope it never occurs again.’   On a day-to-day existence, I do not pay much attention at all when it comes to a feeling of trepidation  or of feeling afraid.  I have told myself I have test-fear syndrome, so any ‘test’ at all (even the written drivers’ exam), hits my gut and it is very difficult for me.    It’s my fear of failure at that level I guess.  I also have a fear of heights.  So, as I’m ‘therapizing’ myself, what a strange conundrum of thoughts I am presenting to myself!

I KNOW BETTER NOW!  I declare my identity!  I live out what I decide is going to be!

What sets up a person for fear?  I look at this from the point of my own personal awareness.   I cut a finger washing a glass years ago, and since then,  have always been more careful to make sure my little finger isn’t rubbing round the rim that may have a chip (that’s how it happened).  I got thrown off a horse when I was 47 and very nearly could have been killed, much less badly injured; however, the residual was  that I had not been injured, and I ‘thought’ I was afraid to get up on another horse.  But, when I was 55 I mounted a horse again, and found I wasn’t  afraid after all.  So,  my brain  (Ego)  lies to me big time and keeps me from experiencing  life to my absolute fullest joy!

I recently had 5 ‘strangers’ living with me in my home for almost two weeks and we all got along beautifully and there were absolutely no suspect feelings as we intermingled our lives while we attended the Celebrate Your Life event in Scottsdale, Arizona.  So, what does this say to me?  It tells me I place myself into circumstances that I wish to be a part of and when I do this, I am free of any misgivings and I trust myself and have faith in my decisions that I am doing what is right for me at the time.  I had only feelings of wishing all would have a wonderful time staying with me, and that I would provide myself from my heart, which, indeed, I did.

How many times I say I enjoy the PRIVILEGE of living…and now more than ever I am getting in touch with what this really means to me.  I am approaching 80 years old in April, and I’m investigating all the corners of my world trying to learn more about myself and others as well, that ultimately fulfills me and gives me peace and understanding.

I own nothing – no people, no things, when I transition to the other side.  So, I own nothing now either.  I am myself, and I do owe it to my Self to love myself absolutely, and treat myself and others with love and respect, do my best,  and fill myself up with all the joy I can find as I honor my Creator – the Universe – that has supported my existence thus far and I believe, will continue to do so for eternity.   Life changes moment to moment, and I can view it as an exciting time again and again, or I could ignore all the wonderment and deny my Higher Self the privilege of living my life to its potentially highest fulfillment .  I choose what’s behind Door Number One!

Blessed Be to All.

 

 

So, I Said To Myself,”…..You Talkin’ To Me?!….”

October 9, 2015 / / Life and Living

Yakety Yak!…… YaDaYaDaYaDa!…..  For more years than I’d care to admit, I’ve been talking to myself aloud – and enjoying these conversations – one-sided as they are!    My subject matter is mostly generic and scripted, i.e., “You’re not lookin’ bad at all for 78!” or “What are we planning to do today?”, or “You did a good job at that!”, etc.   My discovery of  late is  I haven’t taken advantage of the REAL opportunity this nebulous activity offers me below the surface of my emotions!

I’m mindful of a kind of “Self-Talk” that emits negative messages that scar and cripple the Spirit..always pulling the Self down at every chance!  The words of self-loathing, disrespecting the Self so deeply, it cannot love or be loved, often spiraling downward to  ultimate  despair and loneliness and pain of Heart.   When I consider  my issues that need healing, it makes good sense for me to use all this ‘lonely energy’ and deliberately CHOOSE TRUTHFUL CONTENT for the  MESSAGES I’M GIVING TO MY  ‘SELF’ and transform these  conversations into  healing nuggets that can strengthen and give me peace.

CHOICE AND CONTENT

I know  I am essentially Good.  I  know that I am not lesser than any other human being.   If I feel otherwise, I am lying to myself!  Until now,  I have allowed myself to remain misguided, instead of correcting my thoughts or feelings that promote discomfort and  dis-ease.   The truth is,  such feelings are baseless…they are lies with a life of their own inside me,  which will continue to wreak havoc on my future peace, joy and happiness,  until I examine my dialogue  and, when necessary, root these untruths out and replace them with honest, supportive  commentary.

 I will  strive to have only affirmative ‘Self discussions’ with deliberate intent!   After all, who knows me better than ME!

There is no time like the present and I am ready!    On My Mark…Get Set…GO!

 I’LL BE COMING ‘ROUND THE CORNER FROM THE INSIDE….BUT AT THE FINISH LINE I’LL BE ON THE OUTSIDE!

Power lines on a blue sky

Can I Hear Me?  Can I Hear Me?