November 2015

Make Mine a New Year’s Eve Countdown…With a Twist!

November 27, 2015 / / Life and Living

Here, it’s the day after Thanksgiving Day, my absolute favorite of holidays, and I’m beginning to solemnize the coming countdown to the end of the year!

I don’t exactly remember how I started this personal tradition – it was many, many years ago – but it has become an ever so  sweet ‘encounter with my life’ as it  unfolds each past year.  There’s nothing sad about it.  There is a ‘tickling look around the corner’ , and  a standard of personal pride, as I recollect my projects and/or accomplishments, my spiritual ‘questations’, new learning, overcoming whatever challenges that had presented, and my general “Peace in the Valley”, here in Arizona.  It took me about 21 years to return, and now I’ve been here another 25 years, where I absolutely belong and thrive!

Actual New Year’s  Eve presents itself to me as a ‘rest’.  I start my process early evening, and sometimes it lasts several hours…or conversely, it can last only 20-30 minutes.  I think the duration may be directly related in part to my advancing age.

When I was younger I used to look back 10 years and forward 10 years.  I’d gently reflect my past – never came up regretting a thing! – and projected the coming 10 years –  setting out dreams and goals and ideas how I wanted my life path to wend.  Nothing was ever written in ink!  As I aged, the 10-year span lessened to 8 and then 5.   But,  last year I pulled myself up short!  I became quite unsettled in the notion that due to my actual age, I might not have 5 years to project!  For a time, my joy came to an abrupt halt!  Couldn’t I have any more dreams and goals?  Couldn’t I be wishful and even romantic in my mind as I placed one foot in front of the other on my path?  Was I so near the end of my human life that I was left to ‘settling for’ and making plans for my restriction, not my freedom of living?  Thankfully, this horrifying thinking was short lived!

Of course, I had a life in front of me…the same life with the same unknown future length of time! It became easy for me to ‘rest’ again, and review my past 5 and unknown future 5 years, without any intimidation or hesitation, as I formulated my goals and ideas and ‘forever  path’.  I laughed at myself for even entertaining such  paralyzing thoughts!  Fact is, I’ve never known when my time will be up, and never will, so I’ll just keep living ’till I’m stopped!

I’m looking forward to ‘resting’ this coming yearend as I gather all the wonderful memories and ongoing experiences I’ve already accumulated – all of which are new to me – ever!   When I peek ahead, I am aroused by the excitement which builds within me –  not unlike anticipating Christmas morn when I was a youngster –  as I begin to exercise my Magical Thinking and let loose  that side of me where absolutely anything and everything is possible!

By the time New Year’s Eve arrives, I’ll be ready….and  the twists from my magical thoughts will soar into the Universe much to my delight.

Watch Out World, Here I Come!

Ready or Not

Ready or Not

 

I REMEMBER….THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

November 20, 2015 / / Life and Living

Musing…I love it!  There are times in my life that signify thrill….utter elation…uncontrollable emotion (tearful and joyful)…those “aha” moments that made me feel like an inventor (when I said to myself “why didn’t I think of this sooner!”)…holding my newborns for the first time…first house…first love…telling my lawyer why I needed the divorce(s)…signing the lease on my first office space when I became self-employed…my 4-year-old son holding a drumstick as big as his cheeks, my mother with a Pilgrim hat on her head which my other son made in art class at school…my first color TV – Wow.  what a day that was – in my mind in color right now!  Shallow?  Not from where I sat at that time.  I was a single mother, not much money, believing I lived an abundant life, irrespective of my checkbook balance!…some reminders that twinkle my experiences past.

I revere life  in it’s entirety, which provides the basis for my joy and gratitude.  I humbly revel in the fact that I try my best, get through to the other side, find new strengths, and am Thankful in every way for what is today.

We’re nearing my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving.  It’s a lot of work to do…the hustle bustle of preparation and cooking, and then the satisfaction seeing the ‘turkey bird’ all plumped up on the platter, and the wonderful mixture of smells in the kitchen…the bounty of it all.  I’ve been known to enjoy this day all by myself…cooking this whole meal just for me!  No feelings of aloneness, no melancholy or tears.  There’s a space within me that heralds the whole event to my fullest joy!  A magnificent feeling!

I GIVE THANKS FOR  EVERYTHING

EVERY SINGLE DAY

Abundance For All

Abundance For All

The Devil Made Me Do It!

November 12, 2015 / / Life and Living

Yesserie!…The only Devil I acknowledge is my Ego!  It’s never up to any good as far as I know!  When I’m going backward …. back to my ‘old ways’… I know that diabolical troublemaker has a big hand in whatever is poking it’s ugly head out from under the sand where I thought I dug it in for good!

Especially now, when I’m trying to get a better handle on becoming the person I want to be…when I think I might  be getting the hang of it, so to speak….Then, without warning I find myself in a pickle!

Case in point:   I wrote a blog, “By Hook or By Crook… I Want Off!”  I talked  about the ‘show-off’ stage I had placed myself on for years…and how I had come to grips with the fact I no longer wanted to behave like this nor suffer the accompanying stress!   As I wrote this blog I was so relieved to have recognized this less than desirable trait and was eager to cast it aside!  YET, lo and behold, I discovered I have traded platforms!  Now I’m ‘on’ when I log in to Facebook!   Most every morning I have been posting an ‘attraction’ on my Timeline – as if anyone really is interested in my comings and goings! – as if anyone really cares how I turn a phrase!  I can’t believe I fell back into that trap!   I know I’m beating myself up over this, but authenticity is critical to me, and the last thing I want to present in my blogs is material that doesn’t reflect my sincerity of effort as I continue to fulfill my spiritual quest….  offering my personal experiences along the way.  This is about my Self-worth and Self Confidence!  I already feel better  for having acknowledged this.  (I’m reminded of yet another blog I authored, “Self Satisfaction – It’s Between Me and Me!”…Yes, I get it now, and I have the referenced  ‘Grand Feeling’ once again.)

FULL  GRATITUDE  TO MY UNIVERSE!….  MY CREATOR!….MY INTUIT THAT I TRUST NOW MORE THAN EVER!  THANK GOD FOR THIS REMINDER!

BE GONE EGO!!!…. WHOSE FINAGLING STRENGTHS INTERFERE WITH MY BEING WHOM I KNOW I WANT TO BE.

Aside:    I like the way I write my blogs –  they are inspired.    After I’ve written and published,  The Universe punctiliously offers a life experience to put me to the test of my truth!    I’m so grateful for this life opportunity and I will not intentionally be anyone less than my shared experiences and feelings.

Always Around When I Need Her

Always Around When I Need Her

If Only…………Then I………….

November 7, 2015 / / Life and Living

Many years ago I went to a psychologist to discuss a very narrow piece of my life that I wanted “fixed”!

I was having problems extricating my sons’  lives and problems from my own.   It had gone so far that when someone asked me how I was, I’d respond with what was going on with my sons and how it was affecting me!  After a few sessions, I learned it was I who was having the problem separating my life from my sons’!

I think it is terribly hard to live in spite of,  not because of, another’s behavior.   For years I thought if only my sons would  listen to me, then everything would be just fine!   It took a therapist to remind if they didn’t listen to me when they were 10 and 11, whatever made me think they would listen to me when they were 22 and 23!

End of story?  Yes, but not the end of my relearning, to this day these same facts of my life:   Anything anyone else is up to – no matter who they are or how close they are to me, is not reason enough for me to blame them for how I feel or how bad my life is going!  Simple to say, not so easy to do!

Let’s face it, it’s lots easier for me to point a finger and think “if only you………then I could and would be much happier…..”, or whatever.  It’s the “If only” that starts me out all wrong.

God Grant me the Serenity to Accept the Things I cannot Change

Courage to Change the Things I can

And the Wisdom to Know the Difference.

Each time I read these words, I interpret them a bit differently.  Each time, I feel more responsibility to make sure I’m working to change the ‘whatever’ (not whomever) I can! 

Not long ago I found it necessary to refer to these words and was reminded it is only my feelings that I am responsible for, not the actions of others.  And,  it is my responsibility to figure out what I am willing and/or able to change about myself, or any given situation, that could have a positive effect on me and make my life easier.  I am then able to reach deep within my “wisdom place” and make the endpoint choice that brings me peace.

IF MY DOG, ROSE, DIGS ONE MORE HOLE I’M GOING TO TETHER HER UP TO THE CLOTHES LINE!  I CAN TAKE CARE OF THIS!

It's Up To Me

It’s Up To Me!

Prioritize…Maximize…Minimize…Accentuate…Eliminate…CHOOSE!

November 2, 2015 / / Life and Living

One way or another, all of my thinking involves CHOICE!  Whatever happens to me requires me to make a decision how I will act or react, what I’ll want or not want… choose to stay or go. Choice is Freedom…Freedom is Power! Power over my life, NOT OVER OTHERS’.  Power over  what I want to accomplish, become, or complete.  I’m not referring to projects I  started and chose to abandon.  More specifically, what components toward my life’s destiny do I want to complete?

YOU GOTTA’ HAVE POWER….MILES AND MILES AND MILES OF POWER!  (Heart too!)

There are myriad possibilities and opportunities for me to consider….IT ALL DEPENDS UPON ME…Not who raised me, not who hurt me, not even who loves me…IT DEPENDS UPON HOW MUCH I LOVE MYSELF AND HOW MUCH I LOVE OTHERS.

I feel this  Freedom of powerful choice…  my wings readying for flight….my mind swirling with more Joy and more Gratitude  for the privilege of being alive and wanting to peek around a corner, over the cliff (not so much, I’m afraid of heights, but you get the idea!)…..asking questions, considering more ideas, developing new thinking and continuing to open my mind and heart just because I’m alive and am free to do it just for me!

I feel powerful… I am exuberant. These powerful feelings are  peculiar only unto me and  my happiness.   I am want for words and understanding how an iPhone can overtake the wonderment of life and the privilege to live it.

No need to intellectualize, criticize, or externalize….mine is to prioritize, maximize, minimize, accentuate, eliminate what does or doesn’t fit into my vision for my personal fulfillment and completion toward my destiny.  A part of my journey…the marathon of my life.

No pressure…all excitement and enthusiasm to feel what I feel and do what I’m able to thoroughly enjoy Life’s Bounty!

At the end of the day, I am after all, a woman born of privilege and I’ve never realized it more than right this moment.

LET FREEDOM  [FOR LIFE] RING!

My Life, My Choice

My Life, My Choice