I got to thinking the other day what a friendly person I really am!  By ‘friendly’ I mean talkative and outgoing.   It’s easy for me to speak to strangers and I’m very able to keep a conversation going on just about any topic  – whether it be personal to me, or even asking what some may term a ‘personal question’ to someone else.  How else do we begin to know anyone?

How often it has happened when I ask someone how they are, and the answer is “Fine”.  Gosh, that doesn’t tell me anything.  So help me, when someone asks me how I am, there’s a story coming – it’s not that I’m going to blurt out some great litany of complaints; but rather, I’m likely to give a synopsis of some last few hours or even days of what has been going on in my life.

I’ve  been examining my friendships lately.   Clearly, if I were to get specific, several have dropped off because I think I grew tired of making the call to keep in contact, and go through the perfunctory questions, so I would know more of the ‘in between’ stuff since we last spoke.     I’m also aware I have stayed away from one person who always seemed to ask me questions about the most painful subjects of my life.  When I got in touch with that fact, I ran –  not walked –  away, fully realizing making me reminisce painful times, certainly didn’t make me feel good.

Art Linkletter said years ago, “People are Funny!” – yes they are, and not always funny “ha ha”.  I think people like to hide.  They like to keep their little secrets so everything looks good on the outside.  My mother was like that, and I think that’s why I’m such the opposite.  The thing is, those of us who burrow into it, who, in my case, are only seeking to strengthen a friendship, not pry, feel instantly when a person is withholding.  Keep in mind, we all have free will to respond, “I think your question is too personal”, or “I’m not prepared to discuss this with you”, or something like that.

I think one of the greatest rewards to being open and forthcoming is the kind of friendship that can come from it.  I can’t help but think there must be a lot of pain inside a person who remains superficial with even those closest to them.  Some may say there has to be trust before one can be self-disclosing.  I’m not talking about sharing deep dark family secrets, opening up the closets where the skeletons are.  I’m just talking about sharing day-to-day living experiences and feelings – the kind we all have that are not at all threatening in the scheme of things – I don’t believe anyway.   I’ve always run the risk that what I say could cause a person not to like me.   Then, too, just the reverse could happen.  I repeat…HOW DOES ONE  GET TO REALLY KNOW SOMEONE?

It may not be about trusting the other person at all.  Instead, I think it’s more about acceptance of oneself.

What’s there to lose?  Maybe a really good friend like me!  And, for a fact, I need the same thing back!

Here’s to intimacy and authenticity and going for it – and settling for nothing less in return!  Blessed Be.