September 2017

I DON’T LIKE COMPLAINING AND I DON’T LIKE COMPLAINERS!

Each person has their own brand of quarreling when it comes to their individual happiness.

I lived on the desert when I first moved to Arizona, 27 years ago…I liked the houses far apart.  I happen to like the ranchy look – hay bales, chickens in the yards, an old relic tractor standing out front and other memories of ‘how the west was won’ – maybe a wagon wheel (off a covered wagon, I hoped), and a horse barn topped it all off.  Soon enough contractors bought up lots of the land and before I knew it, housing developments started creeping in and ‘the look’ was gone.  At that time this was, perhaps, the most important thing happening in my life.  This may appear pretty shallow to some, but we’re speaking of my individual happiness here.  There was nothing I could do about the encroachment.  Another reason took me away, but for a fact, looking back those many years, I couldn’t have remained because the landscape changed more than I wanted to.

So, I come to this:  When I am disgruntled or dissatisfied with something, do I make a scene about it?  I’ve never questioned whether my behavior challenged any amendments of the United States Constitution.  I guess I’ve always felt I was free to do and say what I wished, trying not to cross personal boundaries (admittedly guilty at times), or violate laws.  Many have cautioned me through the years to keep my opinions to myself, insinuating that my opinions may cause dissension among family members, perhaps, or maybe just plain embarrassment for others.  I don’t believe I ever felt I was challenging ‘the establishment’.  Exercising who I was as a person was never a ‘statement of my freedom privilege’.

These days I am trying first to be true to myself, to my ideals, my principles, my integrity.  Since my son took his life almost 6 years ago, I became more serious about almost everything that pertained to me.  I became even more introspective.  I began to subjectively take areas of my life that I knew I disliked, and I decided to do whatever it took to make the changes within myself that would benefit me and everyone around me.  This is work, but it’s worth it.  I’ll tell you something – there really hasn’t been much time for my mind to be distracted by others’ drama (and there’s plenty to notice) while I keep my nose to my own grindstone.

Many defend their actions based on principle.  It’s everyone’s right to defend their principles.  The question is, does it have to be a public statement?  Or, can it be no different than when we do a good deed for another when no one is watching and we don’t mention it later either?  Can it be done in the confines of our home as we teach our children what we think is right and honorable?

Everything we do gives us learning lessons.  Human beings have been living by the trial-and-error method forever.  It seems we can be very stubborn and self-absorbed.  Thankfully, there seems to be evidence of a slight shift of the heart.  Are people finally beginning to see the dynamic between their level of self-love and self-care as it relates to their ability and level of care and concern that they are capable of having for anyone else around them?  Unmistakably there is the correlation, and no attempted change of anything on the outside can happen until change on the inside takes place.

I have so many ideals and ideas I want to consider, all to the end of my own self-fulfillment and awareness around my privilege of living the best life I can live.  I’m proactive for me.  I am no stoic.  I am a freedom fighter and I have never felt my rights have been violated.

I think it is a huge privilege of life in these United States to earn hundreds of thousands – even millions – of dollars a year, playing the sport one loves to play.  I’ve never heard of any racial discrimination toward anyone who can play the game exceptionally well.

Personal decorum, decency and dignity – very personal, indeed.  I am entitled to my opinions, and I make no judgment –   neither does Karma.  Blessed Be All.

 

  

Funny thing, self-confidence.

There are many areas where I am so self-reliant and self-assured.  I take my own dares all of the time.  Yet, admittedly,  I’m still working with my self-worth.

It escapes me how I can state my truth  on my Just Sayin’  “Live” broadcasts every Friday morning, or when I do videos for my page, Just Sayin’  Kaye A. Peters, and for The Royal Society (BeRoyal.com) and yet,  I’m fully aware there’s a place deep inside of me that needs to be plowed into!

All of my words come forth unscripted from my heart and I feel absolutely comfortable ‘on the air’ and in front of the camera, but I know I have more inside work to do – how?  Because I feel very uneasy when people give me compliments and accolade about what a wonderful woman I am, or how much my words mean to them, or what a wonderful energy I bring with me, etc., etc., etc.

On the one hand, indeed I speak my truth from my heart.  On the other hand, I am as fragile as the next person and this tells me where I must go – deep inside – to get more answers.

I want to be able to accept compliments with confidence – no brag, no ego – with Ease and Grace,  in joy and appreciation to my Creator for the person I know I am so far! I like her…I love her…I’m proud of her…I support her. There are a few more secrets I have to tell myself FIRST! 

I’ve received the nudge to get down to business and I’m ready for the task!   My heart is open, my mind is too.  I have come to the point of no return….it’s exciting, somewhat scary… but to find more treasures which I can surface and toss to the winds will become my pure pleasure.

You’ve heard me tell of how I’ve been singing in the shower for over two years now.  This ties into what I’m saying.  The higher I go on the scale directly relates to my levels of confidence – I know this intrinsically.  Each morning I hit a high note.  Inside I know what it means to me…I know I am ‘scaling my wall of self-worth’  (pun intended)!.  Now that i have opened up my heart, yet again, I know I’m on another progress run to awareness.

This time I’m goin’ for the Gold!  Blessed Be All.