January 2018

I’VE GOT GOOSEBUMPS FROM HEAD TO TOE!  This means ‘get the word out’, one way or another!  First I did a poster about how I can’t seem to stop getting to know myself.! Then I answered a comment on Facebook about how Blessed I felt yesterday when a song from a Tom Jones album (I’ll Never Fall in Love Again, 1967) I had owned many, many years ago appeared…..I listened to it at least 4 times yesterday, three today…I loved it then, I love it NOW!

Music has always been within me…I played piano by ear, sang as a youngster...there’s a story here:  I was about 4, it was Christmas Eve, traditionally our family was at a church service.  Without notice – as the story goes – I left the pew and walked to the head of the church and sang Silent Night, and then returned to the pew.

There’s another story:  My dad took me into one of his customer’s companies (they sold all types of electronics of ‘the day’), and he asked if he would record me singing, which he did…a small ’45’, red disc…I sang Johnny Fedora Met Alice Blue Bonnet!  I used to have this record (sorry to say, not any more)…no matter…that very day, the experience, the record and, of course, me singing the song, is in my heart like yesterday…some 75 or so years ago.

I know I’ve spoken about how much I really do love music…I was about 11 when I was introduced to  Broadway show tunes – Oklahoma, Porgy and Bess, South Pacific, The King and I, to name a few, and my music taste was born.  As years went by I amassed a wonderful record collection of every song I loved.  I had my own little world of music which I turned to regularly to fill my heart.   I was fortunate to have added to this collection when I worked for a radio and TV station here in Phoenix, the first time I attempted to move to Arizona in the early sixties.

As ‘progress’ would have it, vinyl records became obsolete and you know the rest of that  ‘progress report’!  All my many record albums were upright in boxes, moved from home to home, state to state, and about 15 years ago I sold them all to a collector.

The reason I am writing this blog today is that I have finally figured out why I don’t have a radio on all of the time.  I’m positive it’s because I can’t choose any of those songs I loved  the instant I want to hear them!    Instead, I hum them or sing excerpts in my shower or all day long pick and choose whatever comes to my mind, usually with reference to almost any word.  That’s the way songs come into my head…Works for me!  This is one melancholic  mystery of my own experience that has now been solved.

Music has a ‘flavor’ to me…there is a sexuality to it, an energy to it, a culture to it, a heart to it, a rhythm to it, all of which gets into me!  I am someone who dances around my house ‘like nobody is watching’, and I dare say, at 80+,  I don’t miss a  beat!  (The way I see it anyway!)  The sensation is like being drawn to, captured, and carried away into another emotional world.  I’m there…sometime… every single day…enjoying another rhythm and chorus in the symphony  of my life experience.

Blessed Be and to All Be Blessed.

 

Forget the masks!  They’re chicken feed compared to what I’m uncovering now!  I don’t want to be a fighter anymore!  I don’t want to be a defender of who I am, anymore!  I do want to be A “softie”…I have absolutely nothing to fear and I know this NOW!

To all who may have followed me thus far, we know when I declare “I am a strong woman”,  this is more than an identity I have given to myself.  It is the beginning of ‘the greatest defense to a good offense!’  I am fitting my own battle of Jericho!

Because of a series of events recently in my life, and profound awakening  I now recognize and acknowledge, I am ready to get down to the WHYS and WHAT happened way back when in my childhood that taught me how to put up The Great Wall….never to be devastated to that extent again!

 I’ve been so tightly wound up, it is like a riddle of my own life if I’m ready to unwind myself back to ‘wherever’…and as I write these words, I am smiling and cradling myself in my own arms, knowing everything is quite okay and peaceful wherever I find myself landing.

Vulnerable…Naked…Bare…Defenseless.   I am now more able to share this space with  Nonchalant…Relaxing into it…resting in the lesson(s) that are offered me now to my greatest peace of all!

Suddenly, weights have lifted; so much seems ridiculously simple and easy to discard; it’s like I have just said to myself, “”WOW, how could this have been so simple, and how is it that it has taken me 80+ years to get to this place?!”

Keep it Simple!  YES!  Just Do it!  YES!  It Doesn’t Matter!  YES!  Inner Peace!  YES!   To Absolutely Know what ‘GO WITH MY FLOW’ really means!  YES!  Yes, Oh Yes, I Know what ‘IT IS BETWEEN ME AND ME’ means NOW!  YES!  And the list goes on.

It’s my way to explode with what I feel at the time – and this blog is no exception.  It’s not the be-all-end-all with all my answers, NO IT IS NOT!  But, it is my willingness to crack open my human shell and again, peer through myself to that other side where there may just be nothing…other than my mind’s view…my own thoughts which I have created justifying my existence.  Even this doesn’t really matter in the long run.   I hope I will soon learn there is no need to raise my voice again.  I hope I will soon learn there are times I can easily be quiet.  And, I hope I will always enjoy the privilege of using my voice to speak my truth in my own space in this time.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

We are already a whole week into January, 2018, and I’m preparing for my friend’s arrival on the first of February.

I have lived in Phoenix, Arizona, for going on 28 years this coming March, and I received guests especially the first 10 years most every Winter, so this isn’t anything new!  However, there is something very new and different that I have perceived with the planning I am doing these days.  I’M LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF WHAT I AM UP TO…whether I’m cleaning my refrigerator, or my stove top  – even taking out the strainers on the faucets and my shower-head to remove all the hard water deposits!  I’m tending to my home with love and I’m loving the person who is coming to enjoy her stay here..and I’m feeling the love I have for myself because I am intimately connected to all of this process.

I have been practicing living in the NOW for several months and I think this may just be the reason I mention any of this.  My ‘before picture’ was the planning of a things-to-do list which involved making sure my house was in tip-top shape for my guest, and I was hyped to the degree of excitement with anticipation and outcome woven into everything I was planning – all in advance of the actual event.  It was mostly about me, and how I would look, I’m pretty sure…..I didn’t have the glorious feelings I have now that are inclusive of my guest with a partiality to my own feelings not only toward her and wanting her stay to be as comfortable as I can make it, but it also has to do with how wonderful I am feeling as I “refresh” my home because I want ‘it’ to be an extension of my affection for my personal living space that I am sharing with my house guest and friend.

I have no rhyme or reason as to what I choose to do every day, but I know it is going to be perfect out of my intention.  I know she is looking forward to her visit and we talk most every day not only about that, but also the preparations she is making for a side trip she is planning for herself.  It feels so good to be considering someone else in my life right now – living alone provides more solitary thinking remember – and I know the quality of this comes directly from that which I feel for myself.  There is no ego playing into this.  I have no one to impress, nothing to do other than be myself, the woman we already know.   And, there are some special dishes I want to cook for her (which, of course, I have cleared whether she likes them!)

I am expressing my Freedom and Joy through all of the choices I am making surrounding this event.  And, as much as I am certainly looking forward to it, if for some unknown reason it has to cancel, I know the two of us will just say, “Well, when can we set it up again?”  The whole thing is nothing more or less than one of those “series of events’ I refer to often which present to my privilege of living my life.

There’s a lot to be said for being a dreamer, realist and optimist all rolled up into one.  Makes for an exciting time of it, with the knowledge everything always works out perfectly and in its own good time to my greatest good and that of all those around me, right NOW.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

Birth of Consciousness

 

January 1, 2018, is beginning  my official ‘Reckon with My Life’. I am now beginning a New Birth of my Consciousness.  I use this picture for my Facebook cover page, Just Sayin’   Kaye A. Peters, and I entitled it.   True Then…True Now.  We are always in the state of  birthing new consciousness every moment we live. 

Last New Year’s Eve I didn’t pass myself through the portals of the past, nor enter into the unknown of what the future may hold in store.  I actually didn’t remember to have the ‘encounter with my life’ which I have routinely done for years!  It wasn’t until this morning when I did a spontaneous Just Sayin’  “Live” that it came to my mind and I shared it with the world online!  I came to the conclusion I must have realized (unbeknownst to me consciously) that there is no place for this in my life any more, as I earnestly live in the NOW.

Life is to be enjoyed.  I know that the highly elevated “New Year’s Eve” has no more draw where I should muse my past or future years.  I think it would be nice  to reserve  a moment of peace and contemplation every eve, and for that moment,  possess the countenance of such Peace.

Every moment of every day of every year that I am on this planet holds the potential of my greatness because I AM.  Whatever sparks I ignite from within will always become the freedom flames of my privilege of living my life.

Mantra:  I AM as strong as that which created me.   I have Faith in my Faith.  Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.