Conscious Awareness

Not this year, 2019, nor any other year in the near future, will I “arrive!”  Actually, I’ve always believed this and never think of my life along these lines; however, I have had hopes I learned some lessons ‘FOR GOOD’, if this makes any sense.

Now, after having to backtrack my tracks, and rethink again my actions and reactions, I’ve begun to believe that because things and people and circumstances are always changing moment- to-moment, it’s all I can do to keep up, and keep my head on straight, as I try to do the right thing at any given moment in the NOW of anything and everything!  This is a mouthful and a brainful too!!

As old as I am, nearing 82, it is never “Too soon old, too late smart”, as the saying goes.  Guess there’s no real reason to always try to figure out stuff. Living in the NOW for nearly a year, I take everything as it comes for the ‘start up’ of each of my days, but now I’m finding out I don’t take the ‘end up’ of my days so well when I have some troubling experience pop up!  It is still the NOW, but why is it so difficult for me to navigate this? What a conundrum!

As much as I love to look around every corner for the surprise of life, I think I’ve forgotten I also need to accept the surprises  that occur, which may stem from familiar ground, but that ground hasn’t been remaining the same and, therefore, circumstances and people and things have been changing as well!  True enough, nothing is carved in stone, no matter what!

What have I learned?  Don’t come to a conclusion about anything.  Always be ready for anything. What IS NOW is ONLY NOW.   Everything presented to me is NEW IN THE NOW NO MATTER WHAT! 

I don’t think I have to go back to my drawing board, but I fully intend to broaden my scope of thought about MORE (which may suggest futuristic thinking), from NOW on.

Happy New Day Everyone.  I do believe I gained my one step back, and added another one ahead.

Let’s hear it for giving ourselves some ‘wiggle room’.

Kaye finds it difficult to drop the reins of her life and accept fully ‘what Is’.  Of course, this stems from early childhood when it was near impossible to control her circumstances.   Every day she comes closer to us with full Faith and Trust that ALL is perfectly fine.  There is never a reason for her to be concerned.   She knows she is part and parcel of  ALL.             ~Gaya  

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

 

 

 

 

I awake and it is ‘Today’, and if I live through the night, I awaken to another Today, and so it goes.  I guess there really is no time.  We put it into segments to be orderly for work hours, we separate night and day and we have created weeks and months and years.   We age ourselves from our birth dates, and in our early years of development we monitor such development by standard, and in our later years we monitor our decline, again by standard.

I spent every New Year’s Eve for more decades than I can count monitoring my past year’s accomplishments and then fast-forwarding 10, then 5 (as I aged) years ahead  semi-seriously dabbling in what I thought I might want to do in that future time space.   This was an elaborate exercise of listing things to do, looking to the future, and somehow trying to bring the dead past to life with the reminiscence of it all.   It all seemed to be so valuable to me, and none of it had to do with the PRESENT, the TODAY OF MY LIFE.

No more of this for me…I hinted last year was to be the end of this practice for me, and so it was! It’s my TODAY I breathe, touch, smell, feel, think about and do something about…My NOW!

No holding onto past accomplishments – that was then, this is NOW! No waiting for a set of circumstances to be perfectly in place before doing something.  It’s called strike while the iron is hot!  Our heart has a perfect way of letting us know when we want to do something.  It’s our mind that starts doing the calculating, provisioning, and conventionalizing our heart’s desire, until we finally can’t see where to begin…it becomes a downer instead of a motivated wonderful dream intention which our heart brought forward for us to act upon in the first place.

I have all I can do to take care of my own business and stay out of that of others; it’s the same about working with each  TODAY I’ve been given.  It requires devotion to myself, love of myself, filling each moment I am  breathing with an attitude of well-being, recognizing my gratitude and Blessings and my own POWER TO MAKE MY LIFE BETTER  during EACH DAY!  There isn’t much more time for anything else that I can do anything about.  The future isn’t in my grasp until it is TODAY.

I’m feeling wonderful about this shift in my thinking.  It falls into perfect place with my view on aging too.  As I’ve said before, I have no end game. My life IS, until it ISN’T, and when that happens, it will be ‘a TODAY’.

HAPPY NEW DAY EVERYONE!   Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

 

 

 

 

When I come here, I’m travelling in my small world.  I’m working with my NOW, as Life appears in front of me.  I guess I receive my own “Liferays”!  I do believe I am connected to ALL THERE IS.

Last evening, I learned from the well-known spiritualist, Ram Dass, about a quiet meditation with nothing more than a repetition of  the mantra “I Am Loving Awareness”.  Initially these words come from the brain and then I move my experience slowly to my ‘spiritual heart’…continuing to silently repeat the mantra, waiting for another door to open to an expanded place of awareness.   I was reminded that Loving Awareness is loving everything I am aware of.

This is remarkable to me because I often say out loud, “I love this”, when I’m doing stuff around the house.  Whatever the eyes rest on, or whatever warm feeling I have inside, there is that added space of awareness where I audibly acknowledge ‘I love it’! Believing everything is part of me, it follows IF I LOVE MYSELF, I LOVE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AROUND ME AS WELL.

This is no ‘arrival’ for Kaye, but rather a new door which is opening in her personal journey.  We welcome her search and meet her with support and guidance which is exactly what she invites.  What is wanted and needed is what we provide to ALL who ask.       ~Gaya

I find it fitting that I have apparently entered a new phase of understanding and I look forward with excitement to what will present.  This business of living in the NOW continues to amaze me.  Yesterday, I wasn’t thinking like I am today!  Nothing stays the same.  Life is an exploration of thoughts and things we do, who we think we are, who we think we want to be, what we think we like, what we decide to discard…I guess we are in a movie, and may as well sit back and take it all in.

It makes so much more sense now when I remarked  a while back I didn’t think I would be continuing my New Year’s Eve “encounter with my life”.  Thoughts change, things change, life changes, and I’m changing right along with it.  Changing for the better, I’d say!

A new second, minute, hour, day, month, and soon, new year.  Time begins to mean less and less.  ‘It’s’ IT!  What ‘Is’, IS!…but FOR NOW.   I’m learning to savor it ALL in its time.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.