Faith and Trust

Aquariums…Still Waters…Choppy Waters!

July 16, 2019 / / Conscious Awareness, Faith and Trust, GAYA, Grace, Gratitude, Humility, Love, Peace and Understanding, Self-Realization, True Freedom

Peace, Tranquility, Equanimity, Silence, Serenity, Unflappable,  Oneness, Wholeness, Connection.  Beyond… way beyond….the Observer,  disallowing any interference.

These were the sensations I was feeling this morning during my meditation experience.  Amazing…Absolutely Amazing.  Let me tell you folks, it’s worth the wait!  It has been my intention to Practice my Spirituality.  In so doing, meditation has become a part of this practice, and I’d be the first to express it hasn’t been easy!  I’ve enlisted the aid of Deepak Chopra, Ram Dass, Echart Tolle… all of whom graciously offer their own experience selflessly.  I listen to podcasts on the subject of meditation, I join free seminars. I’m in a 21-day meditation experience with Deepak and Oprah right now.  Thankfully, I believed their promises that I would be the better for the experience…that my life would be enhanced and my awareness would increase…all toward learning the purpose of why I am here in the first place.

As I listened to Deepak’s words this morning, already in my meditation position, eyes closed, hands folded, I readied myself as usual.  When the time came to ‘begin’, I began to resonate with “I am unbounded changeless self”.   I then began to open up to being changeless and whole, and it slowly made sense that whatever was around me all of the time is that of perpetual change, and subject to all kinds of outside interference and as a human being, I respond and react to what comes to me…Yet…I then saw an aquarium in my mind’s eye, and clearly, the water beneath the surface was still…not moving, not changing…even though the surface was choppy and wavy! 

I am totally grateful for this glimmer-awareness of my Essence…my unflappable Spirit.  The power and strength of this Spirit is unmistakable.  It is that which has kept me from drowning in the choppy waters!

Blessed Be my reassurance that beneath whatever upsets or dishevels me is this Spirit of  Wholeness of Being, which cannot be changed…”a bulwark never ceasing.”

Living life is never in vain.  We provide the stairs and railings, and we ascend as One.   ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

 

I’m Glad My Antennae Are Working!

June 25, 2019 / / Energy Connection, Faith and Trust, GAYA, Gratitude, Intuition

I had a rear-bumper-bender on June 4th.  Thankfully, after the bumper was taken off the car was still operable.   What followed was a week of  receiving information.  I got ‘her’ to a body shop for a damage repair estimate.  Would my car be totaled?  This prospect didn’t rest well with me.    In the past 6 months I had spent well over one thousand dollars in repairs!  A 1999 Chevrolet Malibu doesn’t have much book value, but she has much heart value to me.  Her gas mileage is outstanding (23-28 mpg in town), and besides, she’s the vehicle I had purchased  in 2011, just prior to the death of my eldest son.  I had relied on her to make several trips  when I retrieved his belongings, and I was so grateful ‘we’ accomplished those trips without event.  That’s how she got her name:  Angel. 

After discussion with my son and deliberation over my options, I decided to keep the car and have her repaired.  I know her better than I would another used car that would most probably have its own set of problems.

It’s June 25th, Angel hasn’t come home yet.  On the 19th, I returned my rental, knowing I could manage without a car for a ‘period of time.’  At the latest, I thought she’d be back by yesterday.

As I’ve stated many times, Life is a Series of Events.  I’m sharing this experience to express my gratitude for the privilege of living my life, as these events occur.  During this time I have relied upon my intuition, and I am aware that it feels like I am going with the flow.  I had even gone to the store before returning the rental to pick up a few items, just to be safe.  When I was in the store, I kept thinking get cat food.  I bantered with myself back and forth…the car would be back in but a few days…no, I don’t need it…or, do I?  I walked away from the pet food aisle, and stopped.  Go back and get cat food!  As it turned out, today I ran out.  Not to worry,  as I looked at the bag on the shelf and smiled.

This is my testimony and my affirmation of my gratitude.  I am so grateful when I am able to witness these series of events and recognize that this is what it means when I am in tune.   It will be nice to have Angel back home.

We’re together in all of these events.  We’re in your heart space.     ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

 

 

 

God Grant Me the Serenity to Accept the Things I Cannot Change and Change the Things I Can…In ME!

June 11, 2019 / / Conscious Awareness, Faith and Trust, GAYA, Grace, Gratitude, Humility, Living in the NOW, Responsibility, Source Energy, Truth to Self

When I am in problem – especially repetitive problem – it is good to try to put into perspective why I choose to view my problems as such hindrance, as against such privilege for me to gain awareness.  It is all too easy to immediately point fingers outward at people or circumstances and make them the objects of  why my life has chaos in it. Of course, my reaction to everything is key, but as I sit in the silence right now writing this blog, I can’t circumvent the fact that if I choose to be affected by anything outside of me, I have chosen to be attached to it in some way.

At birth I was physically detached from my mother when the umbilical cord was severed.  Henceforth, I became emotionally attached, totally dependent upon her nurturing and physical sustenance.  In the process of maturing, I learned rules and social skills from everyone I was around.  School became the first introduction to existence within another social setting and exposed me to academia and socialization in preparation for my entrance into the world as an independent human being, presumably ready to care for myself and become successful in my own life.

Trial and error, tripping and falling and getting back up for another stab at succeeding became routine. Through the years this process became easier because I learned I was capable; I was resilient; I was Faithful and Hopeful that this process of living life was totally worth it;  I was Blessed to have met certain Earth Angels who guided me and loved me through some difficult times; circumstances offered me opportunities along the way too – some of which I grabbed onto and some I missed.

Through all this, what can I apply to continue on my Forever Path with more ease?  Today I sit in the silence and again realize I need to find the answers within me.  I need to clarify my perception of my position within the chaos.   As much as I certainly do need others around me – friends, colleagues, peers, and neighbors – I am essentially alone.  The chaos I am feeling, is none other than my attachment.

Life serves itself up to me every day!  I live in the NOW of my life the best I can.  Life is nothing more than continuous NOWS, which fleet into PASTS.  Attachment is in the mind and wreaks havoc!

I need to let everything and everyone BE and I need to unconditionally accept ALL as it IS.  This goes for  accepting ME too!  I am FREE to change my perceptions to suit my Joy, Happiness and Peace.  I must be KIND in the face of adversity…kind to others and to myself as well.  This is a GENEROUS act.  I am Grateful.

My saving Grace is my desire and willingness and courage to change the things I can…ME.

We are your support, your anchor, your wind in your sails. We become One in your Hope and Faith.   ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

             

ABUNDANCE = PLENTY

May 20, 2019 / / Conscious Awareness, Energy Connection, Faith and Trust, GAYA, Grace, Humility, Mindfulness, Peace and Understanding, Source Energy

Need More?  No I have plenty.

I was musing the word “abundance” the other day, and it is such a big word!  In my mind’s eye I see overflowing…every thing in every way!  We’ve seen the grand cornucopia with foods of every variety flowing outward.  We see homes that are really mansions, in which the staff to keep them up far outnumber the owners.  Collectors display garages full, rooms full, wine cellars full.  All this, and more, is Abundance.

There are those who have aged gracefully who have an aura about them of peace and tranquility, of appreciation for their stage of life and what they have accomplished, and these same ones are in touch with their health which allows them to enjoy their privilege of living the life they have been given.  This is Abundance.

There is the family, young or old, which celebrates reunions and holidays and all togetherness with the extension of that family, with exuberance and joy and gratitude and love, and this fabulous connection has nothing to do with where they live, how much money they have, or even how much food they have in their pantry.  It has to do with the heart of it all.  This is Abundance.

There are those in life who have no living family, few friends, live meagerly, and look forward to every day, in full appreciation of the ‘nature of it all’…they notice the ‘little things’…they’re grateful for the warmth of the sun, the flowers that bloom, the smiles on others’ faces, their ability to get where they have to go.  They take each day as it comes and at the end of each, they are satisfied.  This is Abundance.

I’ve stated all the time we have is all the time we need.  Now I ponder the word “satisfied”.  I’m sitting in my own home, typing on my own computer, fully clothed, looking forward to breakfast, listening to the wind chimes from the sweet breeze outside.  My doors and windows are open and here, it is the latter part of May, in Arizona.  The temperature is a bit chilly!  There is nothing but ‘good’ around me…and I feel ‘good’ within me too.  I like the feeling of ‘enough’.  I muse now, why do I keep looking for another brass ring to grasp?  Perhaps, it has more to do with ‘filling in the gaps’ of awareness and bringing myself even more joy and happiness than I already express with my gratitude for each and every day.

Well, whatever it is, I don’t ever want to lose sight of the peace I know when I can truly say, I have more than enough right now, I live an extraordinarily abundant life right now, I am so grateful for the Blessings and Grace that have been bestowed upon me and my son, and I humbly say “Thank You”.

      We’ve enjoyed this interaction in this silence.  We concur, keep on keeping on!    ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

 

 

 

 

There is No Cross to Bear! It May Be A Huge Lesson to be Learned!

March 15, 2019 / / Energy Connection, Faith and Trust, GAYA, Life and Living, Peace and Understanding

My upbringing was religious in the sense my maternal grandfather was a minister, after all, in the Missouri Synod Lutheran Church.  I recall in conversations, whether in my immediate family or among others in our extended family,  the phrase  “cross to bear” was used,  referring to someone who had an extraordinary burden in life.

As happens with me, I get thoughts which cross my mind, and if the same thought crosses more than twice,  I begin to think I’m being signaled to some kind of awareness.  This is one of those instances.  I’m coming to believe that none of us has a ‘Cross to Bear’…an extraordinary burden in life which we may interpret as ‘a test’ or ‘a punishment’.  Instead, based on my own life, I think this ‘burden’ may be the accentuation of a very important lesson I came to this planet to learn, and until I get it (hopefully, so I don’t have to carry it over into future lives),  I’ll be dealing with it somehow some way until I’m ready to open up to it!

Using this aforementioned theory, I am now beginning to meditate and work with this probability. Information is coming forward to me and ‘The Soul Plan’ is becoming more clear.  I have to say, it’s interesting – rather like negotiating a maze, or solving a riddle. I want to reach the solution and I know that because I have taken this fork in my road, I am on my right trail.  To my way of thinking it has to be a connection from past lives and some loose ends need to be tied up, once and for all.  I’m confident that my intention will reveal yet another awareness and allow me even greater Peace.  I feel I am on the brink of something wonderful that will truly expand my Soul…my Conscious Awareness…my Wholeness.

Keep those doors and windows open, Kaye.  We’re always ready to help!   ~Gaya

 

Gratitude is a HUGE Word.

March 9, 2019 / / Conscious Awareness, Energy Connection, Faith and Trust, GAYA, Gratitude, Self-Realization

I’ve been digging real deep during this writing…digging toward my center of what real gratitude is all about.

Of course, on the surface, I am grateful I haven’t gotten cancer or any other severe, perhaps terminal, illness.  I am grateful that I accomplished the things I have accomplished.  I am grateful for my two sons.  I am grateful I continue to have the strength to overcome some of the series of events that have appeared throughout my lifetime and I am grateful I continue to enjoy the privilege of living my life with increasing peace and awareness.

BUT, when it comes to the ‘rubs’ in the road…the serious things that ofttimes keep me up at night…how much gratitude do I have for them?  This is the very point of this blog:  To write this out so I can see it in black and white and evaluate what I believe in relation to what I’m living.  To say this another way, “When Life is a Bitch, and I’m being dragged down from my peaceful spot, am I feeling my gratitude then?  Well, I believe I ought to be…I believe I ought to consider that everything that is put in front of me that causes me upset to whatever degree or another is put there as a lesson for me to learn and grow.  I believe when I feel the pinch, I am in it for the ‘inch’ of Faith I have to hold on to; that I might well take the deep breaths or two, settle back, evaluate and review the circumstances, and begin to come up with some operable answers to get on with this continued privilege of living a more fulfilled life of gratitude as I enjoy this privilege.  THIS IS GRATITUDE IN AND OF ITSELF:  Enjoying the privilege….enjoying everything that I have at all moments of my life…in all of my NOWS!

When I do this kind of digging, I try very hard to come from my Essential Self, My Soul, My Higher Self, and I get almost ‘heady’ about it.  After all, I am the observer now, and I can begin to witness the growth I am making as I work myself through whatever difficulty I’m living, and I can feel my progress.  I am not dealing with this repetitive situation as I have in the past.  I  am now grateful for my understanding.  It is I who now feels more peaceful with this new understanding.  I have neutralized the situation by newfound understanding. I have been able to place the turmoil outside of concern and replace it with a new countenance of gratitude for my understanding.

There most definitely is a huge picture to my life…not my human existence, but my Soul Life.

You might call this a Soul Breakthrough…a conscious awareness of what your ‘huge picture to [my] life’ really is, Kaye.  Peace accompanies understanding.  Gratitude brings with it Grace.  ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

Well, Somebody Has To Blow My Horn, Besides My Supportive Readers!

February 11, 2019 / / "Going for It", Conscious Awareness, Don't be held back, Energy Connection, Faith and Trust, GAYA, Grace, Humility, Life's Impressions, Manifesting our goals and dreams, Mindfulness, My Life, Self-fulfillment, Self-Realization

 

It just goes to show, I don’t know everything!  It took my endearing and well meaning Deep Friend and Messenger to suggest I might mention my books here in the blog.   In fact, it was also her objective viewpoint when she suggested displaying the books all together.  Initially, as she was talking, I was very resistant.  I couldn’t see a place for mentioning my books here, nor had I even considered that I could be more original whenever I do my minimal marketing.  (I’d say  my ‘minimal thinking’ is why I didn’t think of these things myself!)  I have come to the trilogy and,I believe, the final ‘book-publishing-time of my life!’   There continue to be so many ‘times’ of our lives.

I’ve stood on my authentic premise that I wrote these books for myself first. It was so much fun, and so self-fulfilling through the publishing stages while I worked with my esteemed book formatter and cover designer, along with individuals from the very beginning who today, almost 3 years later, are still close to my heart and, though  relatively newfound friends in my latter years,  their pulse in my life runs very deep and strong within me.

Amazing how the Universe has never-ending supply of exactly what we need when we need it.  How can one ever stay with a frame of mind that life is ho hum, boring, unfulfilling and ever so unforgiving, if they actually do listen to their heart’s desires, or all of the wonderful dreams they play in their mind?  We are the conductor and we stop our own music!

It all started for me with this blog! I write about my personal transformation which surfaced when I was 78.   I offered my first book, Unbridled Commentary…Without Flinch (From a Woman of  Years in the “Middle” of Her Life) permanently free on Amazon Kindle.   This book initiated my life dialog of conclusions that surfaced from nothing less than the ‘onion peelings’ I’ve been doing through these years in my blog here at Liferays.net.

When I start up a blog, it is my getaway within my head where I begin to iron out some of my rough spots, give myself credit for what I know I have come through, and always try to hold myself in a humble state. Without the Grace of the Universe, of which I am a part and connect to,  I would not be able to refer to these exciting times which are exactly why these years are referred to as “GOLDEN”!  As far as I’m concerned, I am sure of this!

I’ve opened my mind a wee bit more in the hope you readers have gotten to know me a bit better.  Life is a cornucopia of bounteous joyful new experiences – one after the other.  My books relate how our minds develop our lives.  I am proof that there is no bogey man, or Kodiak Bear (to which I’ve referred often in my books and here in the blog).  What there is when we face our Self-Truths are balloons after balloons of unfounded fears that we begin to pop, and set ourselves free from our own personal bondage.

Come Ahead.  You hold the easel, the canvas, and you provide the color.  Together, we create your dreams.     ~Gaya        

Life is for the living…So Let’s Live and Laugh at it All!  Blessed Be and to All Be Blessed.

 

 

The ‘Inside Explosions’ are the Absolute Best!!

November 20, 2018 / / Faith and Trust, GAYA, Life and Living, Manifesting our goals and dreams, Self-fulfillment, Truth to Self

Something fabulous happened this morning! I just had to tell a member of my Literary Team,  the one who formats  my books and designs my book covers.  Just Sayin’.

In my earlier years, I just had to tell everything to everyone in my world… friends and strangers alike.  It appeared I was bragging. What I was really doing was trying to bring myself UP from the lower place of lack of self-worth.

My small world never heard how scared I was while I was raising my sons.  NO!  Everyone saw  “Of course, I can do it…I chose it, I do it, I survive, I’m great, I can twirl all the plates and juggle all the balls without blinking an eye!”  You already know that got me seven years of acute anxiety shaking!

Now, I ‘explode’ to my “Insiders”…the small circle in my small world.

The only ones that know me anymore are in my inner circle.  I realize I have been leading myself UP to every Today, every Now, and it finally occurred to me this morning that I have to be ‘caught on the fly’…because living in the NOW doesn’t have a resting place.  I don’t sit down and take inventory anymore.  I live, I respond from my heart, I see the fantastic results and I register absolute gratitude for everything in my life.

The world at large doesn’t need to hear an explosion out of me anymore. My life unfolds now. I am my example. 

Kaye’s explosive nature clearly is recognizing internally, she is resolute and content with the way we are continuously unfolding her dreams and desires to perfection.   ~Gaya

Happy Thanksgiving!  My favorite holiday.  My heart is full of gratitude.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FACE IT!

October 26, 2018 / / "Going for It", Energy Connection, Faith and Trust, GAYA, Life and Living, Peace and Understanding, Self-Realization

What’s in a face?  Why save face?  Why put on a happy face?  Face forward! Why use make-up to cover up the face?  There is nothing wrong with the REAL FACE!

A while back, in another exercise toward authenticity,  I was determined to strip away whatever labels I had attached to myself:  I went to a gym to strength train; I walked a mile in 18 minutes; I kept my weight pretty strictly between 130-132 pounds (and was proud of it!).  ALL…drum roll please…at the age of 78-80!  This was my picture of Kaye…I prided myself in it.  I had convinced myself this was part of the REAL ME!  “How Great Thou Art, Kaye”!

I’m getting better at recognizing when my  prideful EGO slivers into my consciousness and it is much easier to recognize and peel off  “that face, that face, that beautiful face”, and idle back to the ME that is  JUST ME!..The perfectly imperfect ME… the ME that I smile at every morning in the mirror  with fond recognition.  It’s more than  good enough for me, and that’s all that counts!

Facing facts  as I relax into my ‘easy peasey’ comfortable-with-ME space, I find I am far less concerned about what others are up to!  Everyone else can figure out their own stuff. It’s my peace I care about and my awareness that I’m continuously gaining because I do care more about me and love me more than anyone else.  I can be authentic around anyone, whether or not they are authentic with me.

Kaye has figured out that beneath ‘it all’, rests everything that is sweet and comfortable in her privilege of living her life to the fullest, and she knows it isn’t fancy, or loud or flashy, it is more on the mundane side of things because there is so much joy and happiness that extends to everything around and within her.  She has figured out that there is nothing specific that makes her happy.   She is happy for happiness’ sake.    ~Gaya. 

There is no question, I am working with another aspect of living in the NOW with myself.  I am more serious about what I have inside of me that must come out.  This isn’t necessarily about peeling my onion as much as it is about my Spiritual Nature, my Soul Self, my Higher Self.  I believe I have a Personal Emotional Guidance System and my consciousness wants a deeper connection to it.  I now have a sense that my innate ‘independent nature’ may well be that very System that has always been a part of my character.  I am on untread ground.  I am turning an unfamiliar corner far deeper within.  These aren’t answers carved in stone. This is how I pursue unanswered questions, as I stay interested and open waiting for answers.  ASK and I shall RECEIVE.

ABOUT FACE!!  BACK TO MY SPIRITUAL QUESTING!!

 

 

 

 

 

Perception…Reality! It’s all mine!!

October 19, 2018 / / Energy Connection, Faith and Trust, GAYA, I AM WHO I AM, Peace and Understanding, Self-Realization, Truth to Self

I will not allow my Joy to be snuffed by others’ actions! I will not allow my state of Beingness to be maligned by words from others’ mouths!  I am whole and complete…I am totally perfect at Essence, and I have been in the process of transformation since I became!

Yes, I am in perpetual  transformation, filtering information that comes to me through ‘intended sources’ which at perfect timing resonates with me, and I then begin to understand and integrate it into my whole SELF.

At 81+ years old, I am still at the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Slowly but surely I am melting into myself and I am seeing with more clarity.

Just what is it that stirs me..opening up my brain to see a little more of who I am?  Is it “Spirit” moving me?  Is it Source Energy…my Gaya…that finds a crevice to enter so I can see that bit more light that provides more answers?  I come to believe this day that I don’t have to name it! I just have to be aware that IT IS!  I believe because I feel the impact within,  I know I AM IN TOUCH WITH WHAT IS! 

I know there is much more and my unquenchable thirst thrusts me forward in my search…a Spiritual Addiction..meaningful only to me…slicing through me, letting all the air out of the balloon veils releasing and freeing me from the shackles of others’ dictates and judgments of who I am; my self-talk that restricts me from accepting I am made in the likeness of God, Source Energy, My Creator, The Universe...ALL THAT IS! 

Somehow, it  now seems so simple to be able to entertain this as truth, instead of holding on to all the other stuff that is negative and hurtful to me…which my EGO would have me do.  Yes, it is the EGO endlessly trying to devalue and foil me…it is EGO-PURPOSE.

I will be more conscious to enforce and reinforce my Essential Goodness.  My transformation will continue as I remind myself of my Spiritual Composition:  Love and Light.

It is in the awareness that transformation takes place.  There is a countenance of  internal understanding that pervades  and rests easy inside you, Kaye.  You have found, yet again, another piece of your ‘knowledge puzzle’.           ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

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