Love

It surely is time well spent sitting in the silence of mediation for 15 minutes or so.  I suspend away from thoughts and drift into a space of nothing and everything  and somehow I allow myself to be reached from the beyond, my Gaya, Source Energy,  and when I ‘return’,  the phrase I coined many years ago comes to mind.  “Everything is as unimportant as it is important”.

I’m sitting in this ‘glow’ right now and it feels so wonderful not being tumbled into anything…just sitting in the inclusion of ALL.    Why would I want to stir up things around me?  I am a sentient being and aware when I am disrupting…reacting…feeling the touch of dis-ease within my beingness.  I allow myself to be in tune when I am calm and not restless.  I can feel the difference when I deliberately tune out and away when activity outside of me is not serving me.  I don’t need to have an energetic judgment thought, I can simply weave myself away and out of reach to stay in my peace.

I am feeling gratitude for the realization that I am a part of something far larger than my day-to-day activity or preoccupation with living my life.  I’m on the fringe of beginning to understand that LIFE is pure experience to be hallowed.   I am a life transmitter!  There are dictates inside of me that are always sparking.  My Higher Self thrills when I step beyond thought and planning and move into the doing of life.  This is beyond attitude or a state of mind.  This is making my own way through the ease and grace of living life to my fullest joy and elation with new awareness and understanding of where I am intending to go.  The feeling is like when I was a child and went on the swing.  I could pump myself higher and higher and pretty soon I would be swinging so high it was scary but so exhilarating too….and it was I who controlled it all.  

What a wonderful state of Being.

Enjoy!    ~Gaya

I had occasion this morning to respond to a piece on Facebook.   My friend, whom I gave tribute to in my third book, writes through his personal spiritual connection, Rachael.  He was referring to “clarity” and its meaning in our daily lives.  I automatically typed my response.  It was Gaya responding. I knew I was having a personal Spiritual Breakthrough which finally had made its way to my conscious awareness.  IT’S HUGE!

I quote my response below in its entirety.  The design of this message has utterly opened a door for me that will undoubtedly  continue to re-play in my every day.  It totally expresses the Ease and Grace which I’ve been continuously looking to achieve as I enjoy the privilege of living my life.  It brings to the surface  how easy Life really can be, merely opening up each day with what we have inside of us:  we have an internal zest to thrive in life.  That is precisely why we keep on keeping on. But, in my case, if I don’t keep track of my efforts, and how they relate to my intentions of each day, it ultimately becomes a mish-mash of events…not the tightly woven masterpiece of what I’m really trying to accomplish.

  • “Kaye has been readying for her house guest’s arrival 4/1. This has been going on for some time now. She has been ‘preparing’ for it differently, i.e., doing a little something each day (thinking she tires more easily and doesn’t want to leave it all to the last week!) She realizes now that this really coincides with Rachael’s words, in that her clarity has been intention with completing tasks during each of these upcoming days. She has been choosing ‘details’ over and above the common ones, of floor and window washing, etc. She realizes every action is but a preparation for NOW – whether or not there is a guest arriving in a few days. Kaye is arriving each moment to her life.     ~Gaya”

I am now convinced my Soul, my Universe, my Source Energy, my Gaya, has held me with a tight grasp of love and care since I became; that I have been heard all of my existence, and have been guided and protected as I have made my way on my countless journeys, to exactly NOW.  I trust this will be infinitely so.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

Of course, I love sincere Compliments!  Of course, I love to be Missed!  Of course, I love being Welcomed into a room!  Of course, I love it when someone mentions they enjoy being Around me!  Of course!  Of course!  Of course!  Don’t we all love being on the receiving end!  But, clearly there’s more to living a life as a receiver, and that goes for all the BS we hear and receive and take into our being…some may be directed to us, some is peripheral noise that swirls around us, whether we’re at work, play, shopping, even conversing with someone else.

Mahatma Gandhi famously said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” This says it!  This means I am in that driver’s seat all of the time.  Being the change in my own world!  When I deem there are changes I want to see in my own world, it is the very beginning of my own Peace and Happiness.  When I am in Peace and am Happy, everything around me takes on being ‘well with the world’ at large because I am making my own difference.

We know happiness comes only from within.  We also know when one is complaining it is the signal that there is unhappiness from within being projected outward.  Doesn’t it make common sense, then, when I concentrate on my own happiness and self-fulfillment I give out this same countenance and, therefore, this fabulous energy spreads to everyone and everything around me.  To my view, yes it does!

No getting around it, we still have to be sweeping our own front doors all of the time.  There is never an extra moment we have to be concerned of what another person is up to, except when we perceive someone is hurting in some way and if we are in a position to give a kindness, we must give it.  This fills us up too.  Our actions do speak louder than words…and is it our Ego straining to receive, and are our actions demonstrative of what we are entertaining for our own welfare?

We need to gather ’round our own flagpoles that celebrate our existence on this planet.  We need to operate with gratitude all of the time for our very breath.  There wouldn’t be time nor inclination to be tearing down someone else, making note of the differences instead of our similarities, if we were much more conscious where our own behavior is taking us.  It comes to my mind, this is truly selfish when we always have to be satisfying our own ego needs.  Instead, ought we not be thinking how to satisfy our own love needs? Ego satisfaction is fleeting and never satisfied.  Love is permanent, and the gestures made in the name of love are enduring in all times.  Again, it starts with Self.  Yes, I want to BE the change in MYSELF FIRST.

I’ve come full circle now with the help of Gandhi.  I do want to be the change I want to see in my world.  I belong to it, and all that live in it too.  As long as I have an attitude of Hope and Willingness to Change something in my own small world, I am automatically making a positive difference to my World at Large.

We are in harmony when vision expresses itself through awareness.   ~ Gaya

 

 

I am in it right this minute!  Silence I’m able to hear!  Isn’t it wonderful, this Silence.

I remember when my brain was a rampage of activity.  When I had such immense concerns in every day…when life was always on the hustle and the bustle…when either a kid was crying, or the car wouldn’t start in winter, or money was getting short and payday was a way off.  I remember when I felt at my wit’s end… when I was so frantic with the acute anxiety shaking that just wouldn’t leave me…or when I realized I had made another bad marriage choice (Enough! I’ve remembered enough to increase my heart rate!).

NOW IT IS DIFFERENT! I have just given myself the contrast:  the grateful reminder that life continued to get better when I began to participate in it.  I have now become a part of the world I have been living in for so long.  My  picture  of existence has become more clear and I now enjoy my human condition so much more because I am living my Gaya connection...my Wholeness…my Essential Beingness…my Spiritual Beingness in this human experience.

My small world has begun to expand to the ethereal one where I now welcome myself to explore how I feel and how I want to feel. It is by my own choices and intention and desire to elevate my consciousness and to find ways to do this.  It is in the silence when this happens to me.   This is truly a ‘between-me-and-me’ experience.

I am in the cockpit soaring. It is important I check my compass NOW.  Nothing and no one around me can be of assistance.  This is a solo flight.

We are everything of you.  We are the joy and happiness you seek. We are the high notes you want to sing, the love you want in your life.  And so it is, there is nothing outside of you which you cannot give to yourself.    ~  Gaya

 

 

I awake and it is ‘Today’, and if I live through the night, I awaken to another Today, and so it goes.  I guess there really is no time.  We put it into segments to be orderly for work hours, we separate night and day and we have created weeks and months and years.   We age ourselves from our birth dates, and in our early years of development we monitor such development by standard, and in our later years we monitor our decline, again by standard.

I spent every New Year’s Eve for more decades than I can count monitoring my past year’s accomplishments and then fast-forwarding 10, then 5 (as I aged) years ahead  semi-seriously dabbling in what I thought I might want to do in that future time space.   This was an elaborate exercise of listing things to do, looking to the future, and somehow trying to bring the dead past to life with the reminiscence of it all.   It all seemed to be so valuable to me, and none of it had to do with the PRESENT, the TODAY OF MY LIFE.

No more of this for me…I hinted last year was to be the end of this practice for me, and so it was! It’s my TODAY I breathe, touch, smell, feel, think about and do something about…My NOW!

No holding onto past accomplishments – that was then, this is NOW! No waiting for a set of circumstances to be perfectly in place before doing something.  It’s called strike while the iron is hot!  Our heart has a perfect way of letting us know when we want to do something.  It’s our mind that starts doing the calculating, provisioning, and conventionalizing our heart’s desire, until we finally can’t see where to begin…it becomes a downer instead of a motivated wonderful dream intention which our heart brought forward for us to act upon in the first place.

I have all I can do to take care of my own business and stay out of that of others; it’s the same about working with each  TODAY I’ve been given.  It requires devotion to myself, love of myself, filling each moment I am  breathing with an attitude of well-being, recognizing my gratitude and Blessings and my own POWER TO MAKE MY LIFE BETTER  during EACH DAY!  There isn’t much more time for anything else that I can do anything about.  The future isn’t in my grasp until it is TODAY.

I’m feeling wonderful about this shift in my thinking.  It falls into perfect place with my view on aging too.  As I’ve said before, I have no end game. My life IS, until it ISN’T, and when that happens, it will be ‘a TODAY’.

HAPPY NEW DAY EVERYONE!   Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

 

 

 

 

People say, “Wake up!”, or “They just haven’t awakened”, or “They haven’t seen the light”, or whatever.  In a way, isn’t this a demeaning, dismissing way of viewing others, if one thinks ‘they have‘!  To me this rather sounds like “I’m here, you’re there, I outrank you, but you’ll get there someday, but until that time, I’m of a higher echelon group, a bit more elevated, I’ve ‘attained’, but I can ‘help you if you listen to me’, but I love you just the same.”  I guess when one can say these things, and write words around them, one believes them.

I’ve spent nearly four years publicly excavating myself to authenticity right to this moment.  In looking back, this was actually the beginning of my  intentional living and practicing my spirituality as I have been working with it.

I have had a constant thread intention of wanting to rid myself of as much Karmic Debt as I can before I take a hike!  So, what exactly does this mean to me?  When I have these ‘itchy, gut triggers’ which spontaneously erupt, I figure this is a sign to ‘get at it’.  BUT, BIGGER THAN THIS is the constant rub I have with certain loved ones  which doesn’t go away.  I know we’re together for a reason – more than the ‘family/friendship thing’ – and for a couple of years I’ve been pretty clear that there’s some healing to be done!  Frankly, I don’t want to have to get into this stuff in another life if I can help it!

I learned a while back I’m the one who has to see things differently, I’m the one who has to get things to be as I want them to be right in front of me, and I’m the only one who has to keep switching up the lenses until I see what is actually there, not what I think is actually there!  What this turns out to be is the Art of Loving as I’ve come to feel it.  I’m not here to be teaching others – except by example, of course, but I am here to teach myself.   This loving is all-inclusive, beginning with me, then reaching out to all around me.  The responsibility is always on me first, loving myself first, so I already have within myself that intention of creating the peace and understanding and compassion and kindness and thoughtfulness toward another. When I am able to extend myself like this, I have struck the chords within me that prove to be enlightening and I get personal awareness of my successful achievement of having  found my goal of understanding what I’ve needed to learn.  Nothing can be achieved without self-honesty.  There’s no proving anything to myself; there is the opening up of my real self to Me and then there is what I will call pure understanding and light.  It is an amazing experience and I’ve just spent a full week in this Grace of Life.

When one understands the soul-connection one has with the Whole of Everything, it is the heart-consciousness meld experiencing the joy and happiness and fulfillment of all the heart’s wishes which are nothing but the extreme love of Self and the extension of that love to all others.   ~Gaya

What I have just written has come from a very deep place within me.  It’s from the Soul Knowledge Treasure, perhaps.  It’s a beautiful pearl which I have found in my World Oyster. 

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

 

 

 

I DON’T LIKE COMPLAINING AND I DON’T LIKE COMPLAINERS!

Each person has their own brand of quarreling when it comes to their individual happiness.

I lived on the desert when I first moved to Arizona, 27 years ago…I liked the houses far apart.  I happen to like the ranchy look – hay bales, chickens in the yards, an old relic tractor standing out front and other memories of ‘how the west was won’ – maybe a wagon wheel (off a covered wagon, I hoped), and a horse barn topped it all off.  Soon enough contractors bought up lots of the land and before I knew it, housing developments started creeping in and ‘the look’ was gone.  At that time this was, perhaps, the most important thing happening in my life.  This may appear pretty shallow to some, but we’re speaking of my individual happiness here.  There was nothing I could do about the encroachment.  Another reason took me away, but for a fact, looking back those many years, I couldn’t have remained because the landscape changed more than I wanted to.

So, I come to this:  When I am disgruntled or dissatisfied with something, do I make a scene about it?  I’ve never questioned whether my behavior challenged any amendments of the United States Constitution.  I guess I’ve always felt I was free to do and say what I wished, trying not to cross personal boundaries (admittedly guilty at times), or violate laws.  Many have cautioned me through the years to keep my opinions to myself, insinuating that my opinions may cause dissension among family members, perhaps, or maybe just plain embarrassment for others.  I don’t believe I ever felt I was challenging ‘the establishment’.  Exercising who I was as a person was never a ‘statement of my freedom privilege’.

These days I am trying first to be true to myself, to my ideals, my principles, my integrity.  Since my son took his life almost 6 years ago, I became more serious about almost everything that pertained to me.  I became even more introspective.  I began to subjectively take areas of my life that I knew I disliked, and I decided to do whatever it took to make the changes within myself that would benefit me and everyone around me.  This is work, but it’s worth it.  I’ll tell you something – there really hasn’t been much time for my mind to be distracted by others’ drama (and there’s plenty to notice) while I keep my nose to my own grindstone.

Many defend their actions based on principle.  It’s everyone’s right to defend their principles.  The question is, does it have to be a public statement?  Or, can it be no different than when we do a good deed for another when no one is watching and we don’t mention it later either?  Can it be done in the confines of our home as we teach our children what we think is right and honorable?

Everything we do gives us learning lessons.  Human beings have been living by the trial-and-error method forever.  It seems we can be very stubborn and self-absorbed.  Thankfully, there seems to be evidence of a slight shift of the heart.  Are people finally beginning to see the dynamic between their level of self-love and self-care as it relates to their ability and level of care and concern that they are capable of having for anyone else around them?  Unmistakably there is the correlation, and no attempted change of anything on the outside can happen until change on the inside takes place.

I have so many ideals and ideas I want to consider, all to the end of my own self-fulfillment and awareness around my privilege of living the best life I can live.  I’m proactive for me.  I am no stoic.  I am a freedom fighter and I have never felt my rights have been violated.

I think it is a huge privilege of life in these United States to earn hundreds of thousands – even millions – of dollars a year, playing the sport one loves to play.  I’ve never heard of any racial discrimination toward anyone who can play the game exceptionally well.

Personal decorum, decency and dignity – very personal, indeed.  I am entitled to my opinions, and I make no judgment –   neither does Karma.  Blessed Be All.

 

  

It was a hot July 22nd, 1965, in Arizona….the day I was born a Mother… and again, on August 6th, 1966, … infamous days in my lifetime,  right up to this  Mother’s Day, May 14th, 2017.

I know I didn’t grasp what it meant to be a mother all those years ago…and I’m pretty sure I didn’t give much subjective thought to this role as I related to my responsibilities.   I tried to do ‘the right thing’  and no question I loved both of my sons to the depths of my heart and Soul.

I KNOW FOR CERTAIN what unconditional love feels like!   I can remember as if it were yesterday,  my EXACT FEELINGS when the tiny bodies were placed on my chest, and my heart actually swooned with a surge of protectiveness and awe and wonderment as never before.  This feeling went throughout my whole body, and it belonged only to me because these tiny moving life-beings had lived within me for 9 months, and came through me to present to the world and live on their own because I already existed for their passageway. 

I was directed  – the boys had good health care, dental care, foot care, home care ( a good roof over their heads); however, they had a mother who had her own agenda about what she wanted to do and how and  when she wanted to do it!

As years passed, the phrase “I did the best I could with the knowledge I had” became a convenient, yet true, statement – especially if I was qualifying some of my ‘missteps’.

The boys grew into men.  I remain their mother with good intention, and, thankfully, with much more  knowledge of what motherhood really does mean to me today.   Like any lesson I ever had to learn – this has come the hard way, i.e., many ‘series of events’ which again and again required my decision to keep-on-keeping-on!   In spite of all else, a mother does keep going when the going gets tough!

Birth designates motherhood, and death does not take that away.  Although my eldest son is gone, I am still the mother of two sons!  Souls are withstanding, hearts soften, and I have actually succumbed to a much broader  interpretation of the existence of My Self and My Soul…My Higher Self.  As I was chanting my Buddhist prayers this morning, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, I came to tears, and at that moment in time I knew I was atoning for all the mothers I have been and all the mothers I have had since I became. 

This declaration is personal only to me, and acknowledges a huge awareness within.  I am totally free OF THE PETTINESS OF THOUGHT which I have held my dear departed mother hostage to from the day my birth created her, my mother!

Blessed are we… all Mothers – to be cherished and treasured just because of our creation alone…no deeds counted.  I believe we’ve all meant well – through all generations… centuries upon centuries…and we all carried with us our baggage and rules that determined our choices and decisions.  I believe we play out our Karma in this life and from those lives past.

No more false imprisonment of all [my]mothers past…those mothers I have been or those who have been mine!  I HAVE A COUNTENANCE OF PEACE…THERE WAS NEVER ANYTHING TO FORGIVE, ONLY UNDERSTAND.

THIS IS MY HAPPIEST MOTHER’S DAY EVER…I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THIS AWARENESS.  Blessed Be to All.

 

 

 

I think most people mean well – me included – when they see another needing help of some kind.  Love has a lot to do with it!

It’s up for grabs whether or not I hand out a buck or two to the person on the corner with a sign, and when I drop coins or bills in the Red Kettle.  I  can be very arbitrary when a stranger comes up to me in a parking lot and asks  for spare change.  I remember one time a woman told me she was so broke she didn’t have toilet paper.  I opened up my trunk and promptly handed her two rolls out of what I had just purchased.    I got a dirty look!

But, when a close friend or family member comes forward and asks for help, or I observe they could use a leg up in some way, I am more apt to listen and offer something to ease their plight for the short term anyway, unless they’ve worn out their welcome, so to speak.

The question is, when such help is extended for periods of time, can a well meaning and loving intent turn into an action of enabling?  I’m wrestling with just this subject and there are many facets to it.  Love is most definitely in my heart.  Pain and sorrow are there.  Anger is  there.  Trying to do the right thing is there.  A powerless feeling  is there.  Determination in trying to do the best for all concerned is there.  Love is most definitely in my heart.

Sometimes unintentional hurt on both sides cannot be helped.

I’m known to speak my mind and I don’t have much difficulty articulating my needs.  I know what’s in my heart…I know there must be change…I know I will be the initiator.    It does not hurt me when I make my feelings known. Love is most definitely in my heart.

I’ve just recounted the periphery of my own “series of events” which I have often defined as what I believe “life is all about”.  I am able to rest with myself that Good will come of my actions.   My core beliefs have been tested before in my lifetime.   Overcoming challenges in life is a given.

This has been a time of my life that has required me to be faithful to my core beliefs and  the very truths I have spoken in my videos.  This has been a time I have most earnestly tried to do the right thing for everyone concerned.  This has been a time that I have faced the faith I have in myself and the Universe  in  FULL TRUST that I would be guided toward the GOOD OF MYSELF, AND ALL AROUND ME.

This is no Cliffhanger.

LOVE IS MOST DEFINITELY IN MY HEART.  Blessed Be.