Truth to Self

This aging business only allows for living in the NOW, so if you haven’t started practicing living in the NOW, I highly recommend that you begin.  The words ‘every day is a new day’ have never been more true.

Since I turned 87, I’ve felt a definite shift in how I view myself and my abilities.  I’ve come to realize I have to rely on my past words. i.e.,  I trust myself, I rely on my history, I have great Faith, keep on keeping on,  there’s more than one way to look at something, there’s more than one way to do something…the list goes on.

It’s all too easy to become discouraged and even dumbfounded when it comes to almost every single thing I do these days! I don’t think I’ve ever come to grip with my age, until now.  I still look in the mirror and said, “Gosh you look good for your age, girl!”, and I’ve never felt I was a candidate for a senior center! BUT, there’s no rushing anymore, showering takes twice as long, taking good care I don’t slip and fall.  Making my bed is more work, and when it comes to pep and energy, I don’t have near enough! I have to ration out my ‘duties’.  For instance, if I have to water outside (which takes a good 1/2 hour, and I do a good deal of walking),  I’m not going to vacuum, and if I dust I do a room or two. There’s no such thing as having a cleaning day anymore.  Everything is done piecemeal, all regulated by how much energy I have and how long I’m on my feet. Going to the grocery store is an accomplishment and I take the rest of the day off.

Make it clear, I’m not complaing, but it is what it is, and  living this way just hasn’t been my style until now.  It’s a huge adjustment for me. I’ve always been a hipshooter, took what came when I made my choices, and never looked back nor qustioned myself.  Now, however, it seems I’m a whole new person (except in the brain) that’s learning everything all over again.

I’ve always been a morning person, and this meant I got up early and got everything done before lunchtime.  I’m still a morning person, but I don’t get everything done before lunchtime anymore.  I have to rethink and CHANGE…lots of CHANGE. There’s no blueprint for what I’m trying to describe.  I’ve had to widen my perspective and my patience with myself as I route myself throughout the day. I don’t need a walker or cane, I tire very easily.  I’m totally grateful I have good health.   Living life these days is a conscious  creative effort.  I’ve never been so aware how new everything is.

All this being said,  I am so very grateful for what I have and what I can do and what I enjoy.  Aging allows me to inspect so many aspects of me and what I appreciate and it reinforces my resilience and desire to keep on finding solutions. I pleasantly surprise myself everyday and that’s a good thing. 

The cup is still half-full, there is a silver lining and gold at the end of the rainbow. I’m blessed to live this long and have these experiences. Once the newness of what comes with aging settles down, I’m  guessing I’ll have found my ‘new normal’ and keep on keeping on.

“Whenever you deeply accept this moment

as it is – no matter what form it takes – you

                                                  are still,  you are at peace.”   ~ Eckhart Tolle

Blessed Be. To All Be Blessed.

 

 

I’ve been realizing these days that I am the only one who can give myself peace of mind.  This said, I don’t spend much time mulling things in my mind which wastes my time…if I observe myself doing it. I try to be more centered on thoughts that fill me up with enthusiasm for life and doing things which project my optimism moment by moment.  I really do spend a great deal of time expressing my gratitude for so many things.

I wrote a poster not long ago which defined “Commitment” as no other option.  Gosh, believing this makes life even simpler, albeit more serious as well.  To me it’s satisfying that I can propose options to myself to most everything when it comes to choices.  Subsequently, I already know  that I will like the outcome because of the intentional actions I take.

I can take  mystery out of my life on a daily basis, and welcome what presents to me which is the joy of living in the NOW. And, when I am then faced with more choices, I can review what I will and won’t commit to, and what I will allow occupancy in my day for the entertainment and pleasantry for as long as I wish.

We all know worry does nothing but upset us.  We also know that acceptance is a key to streamlining our days and relaxing in the flow of the action.  I also keep reminding myself that it is I who dictates where I will stand…I am not a tree, I can move around any which way to get my footing and reposition myself.  Like I said in one of my books, I believe if I made my bed I have to sleep in it; however, I can move it around any way I want in this process.  Nothing is so ultimate except death….and perhaps regret,

I have a friend staying with me for 6 weeks.  We both made a commitment to make it work. We don’t know each other very well,  so we are customizing our positions with pure consideration for each other.  This isn’t always easy, but we continue to remind ourselves that we committed to the arrangement for our individual reasons.  I’m glorifying my position in this, because I  have begun to realize what it takes to commit to something/someone and how important my word and actions are.  They are absolute!!  I am proud of myself and also, I am learning such vital lessons yet to learn this late in my life about how to make the best of everything.  I have been given a great personal life  opportunity by fulfilling this commitment. I realize how instrumental I am about everything in my daily life and how it affects me and others.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

Gratitude is a Connection to Everything.   ~Gaya

 

 

 

 

Even at 85, I still think about where I am going in my life, and when I ask the questions I have to answer to myself!  There never is a time in our lives when we can just skip on…without responsibility.

How I try to polish myself, to improve my way of thinking and doing, to the end of more joy and peace in my life is reflected by the ‘outside’ of my life.  There’s no fooling anyone, in particular myself!

When life serves us well, it is evidenced by how each day unfolds.  I know  my ‘countenance’.  I know by how my newly acquired canine friend responds/reacts to me.  I know by how well I get to sleep at night.  I know by how many times I sit in gratitude and amazement when I take the time to take my own inventory.

Life is personal in every single way.  There isn’t a mask I could wear which would hide the truth about me.  There isn’t an excuse I might utter that erases what IS.

When I decided to dig to my authenticity it became my path to freedom.  When I came to the place that I could slowly lift the veils of deception, and emerge in plain view, I realized the sun continued to shine just as brightly on me!   I was able to see where I wanted to begin the work of changing myself and in this process, Life became more meaningful.

Whatever goes on around me is the ultimate predictor. When I participate in Life, I realize how well I am taking care of myself and my responsibilities which I have chosen to assume.  I am realizing more and more that I am becoming the Observer.  It’s an internal experience.  Opinions don’t matter, Inner Peace matters.

Life always comes back to NOW.  It is all there is… NOW.  I recall my coined phrase of long ago, “Everything is as unimportant as it is Important.” There are no degrees of honesty. It’s a continuous deep dig!

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.  Stay Safe. Be Well.

Allowance…~  Gaya

 

These days, I’m going for peace, and serenity and equanimity.  One might think this is easy, but it really isn’t!

I live alone and am left to my own devices.  I can choose not to turn on the TV or radio.  I don’t have to say a word to anyone…I can go about my business and shun the world if I wish.  BUT, this isn’t the kind of peace I’m speaking about.  I want peace within the world in which I live.

Peace of mind requires an overall viewpoint of acceptance.  It requires generous thinking…it is living a life of allowance. Of course, dealing with responsibilities in life creates a certain amount of effort, it requires me to change what is.  It requires me to think about what I can do to pre-empt chaos.  This is as simple as changing the oil in my car to avoid engine trouble, for example.  It’s the same thing when it comes to people.  My demeanor dictates  my surroundings.  I am free to do and say that which maintains the space around me. I try to put the best construction on everything without judgment.  If peace is foremost on my mind, then I don’t want to ruffle the waters. I want smooth sailing… I don’t have to go anywhere near the water.

We say, we are in the world, not of  the world.  I can be a contributor to this world I’m in, beginning at my own doorstep.  Peace and calm is a construct of holding oneself in composure.  It’s a posture. It can’t be achieved in arrogance.  In fact, if it is not authentic, it deflates and causes chaos within my mind!

Peace is not achieved easily…it takes time and practice and knowing myself.  It is almost a skill.  I’ve found everything and everyone around me are my ‘peace testers’.  Funny, isn’t it!?  As long as I am given to ‘triggers’ or any kind of dissatisfaction, I am totally aware I always have work to do.  I love this position.  It keeps me humble at the same time I am in such earnest in achieving my intent.

It’s keeping the thoughts at bay.   I say to myself, “New thought, or No thought!”  This works for me.  It tones down the noise in my head which the Ego wants me to tolerate and keep me confused and in unrest.  Isn’t it wonderful we have the capacity to overrule, or override our minds.  We have great personal power.  When we come from the heart, this power exceeds all.  It’s clean and loving and totally well-intended.  What’s outside does not have to enter inside.  We have the keys to that doorway.

There is a Peace of God.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.  Stay safe.  Be Well.

Have Faith in your connection to that which created you.  This connection

leads and supports you on your Forever Path.  ~  Gaya

 

I’ve stated many times that I talk to myself, and I really do believe this inner dialogue is between me and my Higher Self.  The thing is, I have so many thoughts all of the time, and it’s the important ones I want to hold dear.  I’ve discovered how I select which are the important thoughts: I’m nudged to write them down, like in a post, or in my books, or in a journal, or in this blog. I have a Word file which I label Hope and Faith.  I add to this all of the time.  It’s my glossary of excerpts I have written in comments/answers online, and it’s also others’ words which I have found so profound and meaningful to me.

So what am I trying to say?  In my introspection, I know I’ve repeated during live streams that I do them for me as well as for anyone who finds them meaningful and helpful.  Now I’m beginning to think they’re much more for me when I’m trying to get in touch with myself.

Some say it’s through pain and suffering that we find our way as we resolve and solve and triumph repeatedly throughout our lifetimes.  I agree; however,  I also think when I’m quiet and in deep thought because I am searching for some answers, and when I have asked for help in finding my way, these answers seem to appear from me to me.

I’m certain I’ve touched on this theory in prior blogs, but now I’m much more specific to my point. If I can help it, I don’t want to go down the pathway of pain and suffering as a final option just because I’ve neglected to read the signs that are given to me each and every day…and they are in black and white!  My own words!  My own instructions to Me!  My walking my Talk! These are Blessings, it is God-given Grace.

Never to forget I am a Divine Being, living in a human condition.  I have intuition…I know when I am in tune, going with the flow, acknowledging my own inquiry.  I hear it:  “Be still, and know that I am God.”

There is no such thing as being lost, you are your own audience.

When you ask the question, you are prepared to give yourself the right answer.  ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed. Stay Safe and Well.

 

It’s so important what I think, what I say, what I do. Whatever comes out of my mouth and however I behave tells others exactly who I am for that time. I want to put more conscious awareness upon my actions, words and deeds…not how it relates to what others think about me, but rather,  to what power I have that creates my small world, my happiness and joy, my frustration and dis-ease.

To be more clear:  One can get so swept up in ‘appearances’, when instead, the conscious awareness ought to be on what really is! When I react, as against respond with a deliberate thought about something, I’m not intending to show who I AM at the time.  In fact, the exact opposite occurs:  I show my disorganized mind and emotions,,.my unconscious  unaware  side.

Life happens quickly…moment to moment…and I think it behooves me to slow myself down so I can relish in the delights of the five senses during the precious NOW moments.  What more is there, after all, than enjoying what I’m up to, what I’m experiencing, creating, as I act out my life play?

This is  ‘deliberate’ living ‘ … Authenticity at its best.

When I’m ‘on top of my game’, my inside artist is hard at work, designing in detail what I am thinking about, what kind of attention I’m giving to it, what outcome I am  expecting. In this very process I’m adding the color to my life and when I provide the details, the excitement that begins to happen is essentially me creating my small world for my own pure enjoyment and gratification.  It’s in these moments I am so grateful for all that I have.  I have so many gifts to use which stir from within.  We all do.  It’s a matter of  letting those ‘cats out of the bag’!

Perfect Timing!  I’m intentionally setting a deliberate action plan for me to more consciously initiate. I’m creating more ‘Go’ in my Flow.  I’m bringing more privilege of living my life with the deliberate intention of enjoying the whole journey.

There’s no question about it:  I have no endgame in sight!  I guess that’s what life is all about…we deliberately keep enjoying our ‘lifestyle’.

Blessed Be.  Be Safe and Well, All.

“You’ve Got This!”         ~Gaya

When I’m in a crowded place, like a grocery store, I have no attachment to any of the people milling around.  We’re all there for the same purpose, and we’re directing ourselves to the various aisles where we pick up what we need and move along until we check out.  If I can’t find something, I might ask a fellow shopper. That contact is short and purposeful.  In any case, I haven’t relied upon anyone. There are services offered like carryout, and I use them if needed.

I find it interesting, however, when I think upon ‘friendship’…how and why it begins; how it maintains and flourishes; how the connection can form into an attachment, and then, without notice the friend(s) create an agenda.   And the friendship silently shifts from one of enjoying each other’s company and mutual interests, to one of expectation favoring personal gain. Unknowingly and, perhaps, unwittingly, a person generously begins to present themselves in a ‘helpful’ manner…this could be monetarily, doing favors, just plain helpfulness, but in so doing, that person is also deepening reliance between the two of them.The recipient perceives nothing unusual other than the friendship strengthening.

Then, something happens:  The recipient does something unexpected – nothing mean or devious – but the generous friend takes it very personally, and an eruption occurs.  Apparently, the generous friend had become reliant upon the other friend for something that hadn’t been openly stated.  This is a scenario which occurred with me.

There are business relationships and friend relationships and acquaintances.  I happen to think when someone becomes ‘disappointed’ in someone else, they’ve perhaps relied too heavily upon that person.  My friendships are in my inner circle.  They are few and treasured.  Everything that is exchanged between us is from the heart, with no expectation whatsoever.   There is an open exchange of ideas, dreams and everyday drama.  There is a continuous give-and-take between us, and no one feels they owe another anything in light of the friendship.

We are responsible for our feelings and our own actions.  We are not responsible for the feelings of others. One can be easily manipulated if one does not understand and believe this.  I think true friendships are formed between hearts, and much is willing to be overlooked in the name of that friendship.

Each time we examine ourselves we deliberately expand our conscious awareness. 

This is a fearless and selfless act toward greater authenticity.   ~  Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.  Stay Safe.

 

 

 

I live on $1338.00 per month, and I think I have an abundant life.  This is well below poverty level, yet,  if someone were to ask me what I need to make my life better,  I’d be hard-pressed to give an answer.

I worked and raised my two sons as a single parent, and made choices toward that which I aspired.  I always had it in my head that I wanted a paid-up homestead.  When I was 65, I achieved this goal. Owning a house was to me a most important thing.

My mother had purchased a little house which she used as a rental, and she figured I’d be her perfect tenant.  It was the late 60’s.  I was living hand-to-mouth, had a good job, no savings, and she figured I may as well pay her the rent as any stranger.  With some persuasion, I did move into that one-bedroom house.   She had profited over the purchase price of the home, and one day, she offered to give it to me, if I paid the taxes and closing costs for transferring the deed.  Down the street there was a bi-racial couple. I had always figured she thought her property was going to lose value, so why not give it to me, as against try to sell it.   She and I saw very little eye-to-eye, so I judged her very harshly on my assumptions of her agenda.  I lived in that house for a couple of years, and without breaking any outside walls,  made it into a two-bedroom, installed a dishwasher and put in an eating nook off the kitchen, added double front windows….all with the help of  “Mr. Peach”, my handyman (who moonlighted this work, after he had installed the dishwasher), along with my pure  gumption and grit that always kept me advancing.

When I sold ‘the little blue house’, it was the beginning of me moving forward, buying another one, and another one after that.  When I moved to Phoenix in 1990, it was that last house I sold to make that move, which I had lived in for 13 years.

I’ve shared this story to illustrate that everyone marches to their own drum…listens to their own music…sees the opportunities and is grateful for their successes, or complains for the lack thereof.  Everyone’s reality is different, and has been shaped by their own personal experience.  My  life wasn’t all rosy.  I made good and not-so-good choices…My father was bi-polar, an alcoholic, and had committed less than stellar acts against me which I recount in my last book, My Beginning Game, Without End (A Handbook to Self-Renewal).

My eldest son took his life in 2011.  The following are excerpts from My Beginning Game. “Chapter Three, Brutal Facts

“Thought for the Day and a Truth:  Every bad thing that happens can be looked at in a more favorable light.  You can be grateful under the worst of circumstances if you choose gratitude….Circumstances could have been much worse!  He could have permanently and irreparably disfigured his face and lived, AND/OR he could have sustained brain damage and lived out the rest of his natural life beyond the 46 years when it happened, as a vegetable! I am grateful for the outcome.

“It is so important that we become more serious about things that happen to us, or around us.  It is absolutely necessary that we ‘put it outside of ourselves’ and look at it the way it is, how it could be, how we can change it, how we can dismiss it, how we can decide whether it is Our Business, ‘Their Business’, or God’s Business (to paraphrase Byron Katie, The Work).

“We are not born victims of life.  I believe we are the perceivers of life. Big difference.  How many years I have lived under the assumption that I made my bed and had to sleep in it.  I figured out this was half true.  Yes, I may have made the bed, but I found out I could move it around every which way until I righted myself.  It is called learning the lesson and making some changes!

“…if you are scoffing reading this, if you are choosing not to see it as a truthful possibility, if you choose to sit in your close-mindedness and willingness to stay in the very place you’ve been to this very minute…STOP IT!  There are even more possibilities to a happiness-filled life than I know and have yet to discover!….It’s all in my hands and I refuse to stop.  My Joy and Happiness is at stake, and by the way, that goes for everyone around me too!”

Sometimes tunnel vision is a good thing.

(Caveat:  I have since thanked my Mother for giving me the ‘house start’…No matter what I thought, it was indeed a gift that never stopped giving as far as I was concerned.  I’m grateful I have broadened my views about so many important things.)

Direction, Persistence, Perseverance, Intuitive Wisdom, Heart Space,

Grit, Stamina, Desire, Attention and Intention…all dependent upon

the strength of choices and actions.        ~Gaya

Blessed Be to All,  To All Stay Safe and Well.

 

 

 

I am constantly being bombarded with information through my own thoughts, interjections from other human beings, intuitive sense, things I see, hear, touch, taste and feel.  Not a wonder then what a jumble can reside inside of me which can manifest itself in myriad ways.  Running around like a chicken with its head cut off comes to mind, or the exact opposite  which is feeling the need to do nothing.

Meditation is now a part of my daily life, and I am learning so much about inner connection…the silent part which gives me cohesion to my Inner Being,  my Soul Self.   I’m learning that my heart needs me.  My physical, spiritual and emotional heart needs me to support it.  For several years now I have been digging deep into myself to my authenticity.  It is a mental process which involves being brutally self-honest and for me, it has often felt like I was being so tough and unloving to myself as I unearthed details I had so neatly packed away never intended to be revisited.    Once the excavation is completed, there is a totally exposed heart, and this requires getting to the heart of the matter.

In a podcast I heard not too long ago,  I was instructed to shut my eyes and ask, ‘what does my heart need from me today?’  My eyes immediately flooded with tears. I felt a much deeper connection with my heart and Self.  It was like my heart is the conduit between my Soul Self, my Essence, my Inner Being, and Me.   A real heart-to-heart experience with myself.   I eagerly await doing this every morning, but I also do it any time during the day as a natural personal inquiry to myself to keep me steady and on track.  My heart is the interpreter. When I listen to my heart, new doors open and there is expanded awareness.  In an indescribable moment, it’s like an instant understanding and I want to supply the best way I know how what my heart is asking of me.  It is all for my total well-being.

Keep listening to your heart, Kaye. Answers unfold

and experience provides expansion.   ~Gaya

Variety is the spice of life!  Trying something new!  Hearing a suggestion and mulling it over for a while and VOILA’….new ideas come into the brain and all of a sudden another picture is formed.  I LIKE IT!

That’s what life is all about, isn’t it?  Clicking our feet in the air!  Resounding with vigor and intention, “YES!”

I can tweak my life any which way I wish.  I can turn a word or phrase into a painting…it depends upon the descriptive words I use.

I will bring new life into my blog.  After all, everything I write about is about me and what I am doing to continue to fulfill my authenticity.

I invite you to come along with me as I share in yet another way.  If you wish to subscribe to Liferays.net, scroll down to the bottom of the Ease of Living page and complete the form and you will receive emails whenever a blog is published.

I am now observing myself in a much different mode.  This feels interesting and new and exciting.  I am thrilling myself.

We share in this new adventure…we’ve been waiting…it has been

stirring and whirling and bubbling to the surface awaiting Creation.

Leave no stone unturned…it is all in your good timing.   ~ Gaya