Many years ago I went to a psychologist to discuss a very narrow piece of my life that I wanted “fixed”!

I was having problems extricating my sons’  lives and problems from my own.   It had gone so far that when someone asked me how I was, I’d respond with what was going on with my sons and how it was affecting me!  After a few sessions, I learned it was I who was having the problem separating my life from my sons’!

I think it is terribly hard to live in spite of,  not because of, another’s behavior.   For years I thought if only my sons would  listen to me, then everything would be just fine!   It took a therapist to remind if they didn’t listen to me when they were 10 and 11, whatever made me think they would listen to me when they were 22 and 23!

End of story?  Yes, but not the end of my relearning, to this day these same facts of my life:   Anything anyone else is up to – no matter who they are or how close they are to me, is not reason enough for me to blame them for how I feel or how bad my life is going!  Simple to say, not so easy to do!

Let’s face it, it’s lots easier for me to point a finger and think “if only you………then I could and would be much happier…..”, or whatever.  It’s the “If only” that starts me out all wrong.

God Grant me the Serenity to Accept the Things I cannot Change

Courage to Change the Things I can

And the Wisdom to Know the Difference.

Each time I read these words, I interpret them a bit differently.  Each time, I feel more responsibility to make sure I’m working to change the ‘whatever’ (not whomever) I can! 

Not long ago I found it necessary to refer to these words and was reminded it is only my feelings that I am responsible for, not the actions of others.  And,  it is my responsibility to figure out what I am willing and/or able to change about myself, or any given situation, that could have a positive effect on me and make my life easier.  I am then able to reach deep within my “wisdom place” and make the endpoint choice that brings me peace.

IF MY DOG, ROSE, DIGS ONE MORE HOLE I’M GOING TO TETHER HER UP TO THE CLOTHES LINE!  I CAN TAKE CARE OF THIS!

It’s Up To Me!