I’ve mentioned from time-to-time how I belong here in Arizona…I’ve felt this way from the time I flew over Phoenix when I arrived for my first visit over 50 years ago. My eyes swelled with tears as I stared below through the aircraft window. I felt like I was coming home, and had no reasonable explanation for these feelings.
This phenomenon happened every time I flew into the city, and each time I left. I visited several times for many years and these feelings never changed. Happy to be home, and always sorry to leave. In the early 60’s, I lived here for almost four years. My two sons were born here.
When I eventually moved here in 1990, it was my final return! I had spent years yearning and planning and dreaming of getting back here and never leaving again. This time I came by car with the moving van following behind. I had a home to move into, and couldn’t wait to get into it! My oldest son (now deceased) drove with me for good reason. I was bringing a dog and a cat, and his company was wanted and needed in so many ways. It turned out to be one of the nicest times he and I ever spent together and this experience is a fond memory I revisit often.
I arrived in early Spring, and spent that Summer walking the desert exclaiming “Thank you God, Thank you God!”, and very nearly went broke!. I was self employed and kept putting off getting my business up and running. Thankfully, I ‘came to my senses’ and redirected myself; after all, this was no vacation anymore! I was here permanently now, and began to wrap my mind around that fact! I was finally home for good!
I reference drums because from day one, I’ve always felt an affinity to the Native American culture. In fact, when my first son was born, I had hired a young woman from the Hopi nation. I can’t remember her face, but I have never forgotten her name. Somehow she felt ‘familiar’ to me. I’ve been to some ruins, and each time I visit, it’s like I ‘remember’….I have music of Incan Pan Pipes, Native American Flute….. hauntingly beautiful sounds that stir thoughts in my mind of a time my soul has known. Sometimes when I walk, I begin chanting in the tribal way, and I can tell when I am sounding to my happiness or my sorrow.
This is the first occasion I have shared any detail along these lines about me. I think it’s time because I’ve been noticing that I’m stirring inside….I’m continuing on my spiritual path, my intuitive nature is surfacing more, and I’m feeling a oneness to my surroundings, my place on this planet and in this Universe. I’m feeling very comfortable with this path I am following.
This morning, from out of nowhere, I said something to myself (out loud, which is not unusual), that startled me. Instantly, I retorted, “This isn’t You!”…”Stop thinking and saying things like this when you know this isn’t the real you!” …..and then I heard the drums in my mind….the steady beat…the comforting and familiar sound. Something inside me has changed. I know it is all good, and I also know I must tread slowly, yet confidently. Clearly, I am enjoying the newness of this.
Some of my friends who follow my blog might surely be surprised by this admission. All I can say is yes, it’s me, the real me….little by little emerging from a new chrysalis.
My sense is, this stage of development occurs again and again in our lifetimes. I believe I am gently unfolding and awakening to living my life with a new clarity of purpose by Divine Intention.
Fantastic….
Hi, Janice. Thanks for the comment. When I wrote this blog, my eyes were tearing up in total recall of all those winsome trips I made before I was able to put my feet down here for good. I can’t even begin to define the kinds of feelings I’ve had and still do have when I allow my mind to ‘wander back’ where my soul loves to be too. My name was Bright Light, and my husband’s name was Wolf. It seems to me to be the love relationship of all my life since I came into existence forevermore. (Kind of difficult to put into words.). Thanks, again, Janice for your attention. Love, Kaye.