Authentic Self

What Do You Want to Make of It?

February 5, 2019 / / Conscious Awareness, GAYA, Gratitude, Honoring Intention, Humility, It's all in the Energy

Talk about an open-ended question!  “What do you want to make of it?”  And, then again, what a powerful suggestion:  YOU CAN MAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO MAKE OF ANYTHING!

I absolutely believe my mind’s thoughts create my world.   I am living one way or another by virtue of my perception of what is around me or presented to me.  Another absolute, as far as I’m concerned, is whatever I say and think comes from inside of me.  So, whatever I am up to, one way or another, is preceded by what is inside of me!  To admit and agree to this necessarily abides total responsibility for where I am at any given time in my life, my day, my thoughts, my happiness, my sadness, my satisfaction or dissatisfaction to everything.

If I have disorder in my mind, I have disorder in my life.  It follows this has not only to do with general orderliness in my home, but also the quality of my restfulness and peace and happiness in my day-to-day living.  I know I have written a blog or two on how  letting my mind wander into territory which has not one thing to do with my well being keeps me from tending to fluidity of my spirit.  I want a healthy spirit, mind and body.  I want to live a Spiritual Practice  of my Faith in what I believe to be the ground-rules of my existence.

If I don’t provide myself direction, where will I find myself at any given time?  If I am learning lessons along my pathway of spiritual questing, do I not owe myself the benefit of these lessons to be using them as I keep on keeping on?   My answer to these questions is, this is the Power I have!  

Living in the NOW requires  an immediacy of action without premeditation.  It takes intentional acceptance within Self  that I am able to provide intentional organizational response and this, in turn, assures connection to my Gaya, which is always in abeyance of my heart’s desires toward wholeness.

What is my Bottom Line?  I am a part of all Greatness of the Universe.  I came to be here in this NOW with aim and purpose, to experience everything I can that fills me up, and never diminish what I already am.

Together, We are Alpha and Omega for eternity.  We are each journey chosen. We are as deep as you wish to go. We are the sunrise and sunset.  We are inseparable.  We Are.               ~Gaya

“We” make “It”!

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

I

 

There is No Rhyme… But There is Always a Reason!

June 14, 2018 / / Faith and Trust, I AM WHO I AM, Life and Living, Living in the NOW, Me

So something begins to stir inside of me…what is that, anyway?  It’s that ‘same old feeling’ that I get for EVERYTHING when I know something isn’t quite right, and it is up to me to figure out where it fits and what it means in MY LIFE!

Well Oh Well, let’s just figure it out together!  I’ve defined this feeling before.  It’s like I’m guilty of something, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t do or say anything to feel guilty about!  So, I’m already getting to it…This morning someone said something to me which MY EGO picked up faster than the speed of sound  and I’m feeling insecure, not so sure of myself, about most everything that I’m doing online!  I’m also hearing myself say,   “There’s more, Kaye”…I’m feeling inadequate with a friend.

Oh boy, Kaye…just a minute… what did you write in one of your books about this:

An excerpt from my first book,  Unbridled Commentary…Without Flinch (FROM A WOMAN OF YEARS IN THE ‘MIDDLE OF HER LIFE) , “Love Me…Love Me Not?, You’d think after reading this far that I’d have all the answers down pat when it comes to who I AM, what I think of myself, where my self-esteem throttles, and how my confidence stabilizes most of the time…WELL, I’M STILL WORKING ON IT!…..I believe the Ego is the devil! It doesn’t serve me well.  It causes me to have doubts and question ME, the very one I trust, have faith in, and in whose strength I rely!….I have a ‘kicker test’:  Whenever I have any doubt about any opinion I support as my truth or any decisions I have made in my behalf, or when I am worrying about what anyone else might think about me or my actions, IT’S MY EGO undermining me!  Yes, folks, for me, this is it in a nutshell! This is my story and I’m sticking to it!  I love me, and if I love me, I trust me, and have faith in what I know are my life truths, and I make decisions based on this strong faith.  THIS IS THE LAST TIME I AM PICKING THE PETALS OFF A DAISY!”

There you have it my friends.   ‘We’ came to my answer.  It didn’t take us so long, and ‘that feeling’ has left me and I am as confident as ever and I am on my right track once again!

I AM SO GRATEFUL I don’t cower to myself when I’m at this ONION PEELING!  I have welcome tears flooding my eyes letting me know “I’ve still got it!”  I am in tune with Source Energy!  I persevere to ‘BE’,  TO BE FREE.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

P.S.  If you haven’t already, take my first book, it’s the FREE one! You might even decide to buy the second one (smile).

Self-Fulfillment…Oh, What a Beautiful Morning, Oh What a Beautiful Day!

April 21, 2018 / / Life and Living, Self-fulfillment

…And a Good Morning it Is!…And a Good Day it Will Be!  When I feel Self-fulfilled, I Feel the Joy and I Feel the Peace!

I’m breaking into the crust of what Self-fulfillment means to me when I Put My Intention to Doing what I Need to Do to Feel It!  It’s all about choice!

I’m meditating now with ritual.  What this means is that I am following through with a commitment to myself which I made after the 21-day meditation experience with Oprah and Deepak.  I commented online after one of the sessions that I was going to include meditation in my daily routine…and this was because I was feeling the positive results early on.  I wrote down all of the thoughts for the day, and the mantras so I am following that…and this is providing me guidance.

When I hoofed this morning it came to me that when I have truly felt self-fulfilled in my lifetime (and most of these times were when I completed projects…and, of course, the highlight of the feeling was when I birthed my sons) I didn’t have to go for the same experience again! 

Let’s take the first time I refinished a piece of furniture.  This was years and years ago when I was raising my sons, and had very little extra money, so when I wanted to ‘see something different’ in my home, I couldn’t just go buy something from a store to augment my rooms…I had to think of a way I could do it with what I already had.  I could afford a can of ‘zip-strip’ to take off furniture finish, and either paint or apply color stain for my ‘new look’.  That ‘first time’ was like none other! I worked extraordinarily hard because I had no past experience, and I followed the directions to a ‘T’. Everything was an unknown.  I was certainly in the NOW and didn’t even know it!  When the final coat dried and I sat back and admired my work…I was overcome with pride of accomplishment.  I loved everything about it, and the absolute glow within myself of self-achievement and the self-fulfillment that accompanied my whole idea in the first place was ENOUGH FOR ME.  There wasn’t any compliment I subsequently received  that came close to my knowing what I had done and how wonderful I felt about my tenacious attitude toward the hard work to get the job done and looking so good.

Since that time I’ve completed many similar projects, and of course, felt self-fulfilled. When I start out a project I already know I can do the job and I know I’ll love the result. I’m not needing that feeling again…I’m loving the ‘hobby of it”.

I’m trying new things these days…new approaches, new logic.  This is about my eating habits, folks.  I’m experimenting with just what choice(s) I can make as I go for some ‘thing’ or some ‘way’ of doing something.  I’m extraordinarily aware of  how I’m thinking about it…and the cream is rising to the top, slowly but surely.  I’m realizing how wonderful I really do feel when I make a deliberate choice to do something that I know is to my best interest and good and ‘feelings about myself’.   Case in Point:  Each day that I have been making such deliberate experience choices, I am creating a snowballing effect of the feeling of self-fulfillment.  My thoughts are not about depriving myself…my thoughts are how I’m thriving and about how capable I am looking after myself….I am feeling the power…I am feeling the joy of taking the reins deliberately!

This is about ME PUTTING INTO ACTION THE WOMAN I AM, THE PERSON WHO IS CONFIDENT OF SELF, THE PERSON WHO KNOWS I CAN MAKE GOOD DECISIONS FOR MYSELF…MOREOVER, I WANT TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS FOR MYSELF!  

I AM FILLING MYSELF UP WITH DELIBERATE THOUGHTS AND CORRESPONDING CHOICES  SO I CAN BE THE VERY BEST I CAN BE…ONE THOUGHT AT A TIME…ONE DAY AT A TIME…AND I AM ABSOLUTELY AWARE THESE DELIBERATE THOUGHTS AND CHOICES ARE RESONATING DEEPER AND DEEPER INTO MY SPIRITUALLY AWAKENING SELF…MY SOUL SELF…ONE-TIME THOUGHTS AND SELF-FULFILLING FEELINGS THAT ONLY I CAN GIVE TO MYSELF FOREVERMORE.  

I know this much:  When I have an AUTHENTIC SELF-FULFILLING EXPERIENCE, I DON’T HAVE TO REPEAT THAT EXPERIENCE AGAIN.   I JUST WANT TO KEEP ADDING MORE CREAM TO THE CAKE…LOVING MYSELF MORE AND MORE!

The more self-confident I become, the more authentic and less vulnerable I AM.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

If It Wasn’t Right ‘Then’, It Certainly Isn’t Right ‘NOW’… Pain-body and Dysfunction Be Gone!

November 23, 2017 / / Life and Living

I got upset today…and before I went overboard…I mean WAY OVERBOARD….I took the time to make myself behave as rationally as possible so I could think through what I was experiencing.  Boy oh Boy, I had to draw upon every awareness I’ve been working with for the past six months.

These past months I’ve been concentrating on living in the NOW; I’ve been working with pain-body and gaining more patience; I’ve been becoming more  aware to mind my own business!   

My stability depends upon honesty to myself first, of course, and to all others.  How I define “honesty’ is how I ‘do it’.  This said, my definition may not be that of others….and this is the important point.  Everyone is different, and they run their own show by their own set of values and definitions of those values.  I’m beginning to think that to try to work with  the pattern of my dysfunction (again, this is my definition), is to make sure I stand tall with how I define myself…laying no blame on anyone or anything else, and never being passive to less than I AM – which I state as my truth of Self.

I’ve come to realize that I have been working on becoming functional…I’ve been deliberately making corrections in the way I think and perceive behaviors of others..and most importantly myself.  I’ve been polishing myself up!  I’ve been enjoying the privilege of ‘setting my record straight’, if you will.

I don’t like sneaky…in fact,  I detest it!  I don’t like innuendo…I don’t like anyone trying to pull the wool over my eyes.  It has always bothered me if I witnessed someone  behaving differently in front of others than they behave in front of me.  That’s about as sneaky as one can get..a virtual display of arrogance and self-assumed privilege, perhaps. I don’t like being manipulated – or let’s say, someone trying to manipulate me…to what end?  To secure or maintain or even try to draw me into what they have chosen to select deceitfully and sneakily, supporting their own dysfunction and moreover, making a silent attempt at my acceptance of it?

I WILL NOT ACCEDE!  

I don’t have to react with disapproval or judgment.  I merely recognize and agree with myself  that I am successfully taking  conscious steps toward breaking a dysfunctional cycle in my own lineage…my concern always is  the direction I take on my Forever Path.

IF I DIDN’T LIKE IT ‘THEN’, I MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT LIKE IT [IN THE] NOW!   Blessed Be All.

 

OPINIONS…EVERYONE HAS SEVERAL.

September 26, 2017 / / "Going for It", Don't be held back, Life's Impressions, Love

I DON’T LIKE COMPLAINING AND I DON’T LIKE COMPLAINERS!

Each person has their own brand of quarreling when it comes to their individual happiness.

I lived on the desert when I first moved to Arizona, 27 years ago…I liked the houses far apart.  I happen to like the ranchy look – hay bales, chickens in the yards, an old relic tractor standing out front and other memories of ‘how the west was won’ – maybe a wagon wheel (off a covered wagon, I hoped), and a horse barn topped it all off.  Soon enough contractors bought up lots of the land and before I knew it, housing developments started creeping in and ‘the look’ was gone.  At that time this was, perhaps, the most important thing happening in my life.  This may appear pretty shallow to some, but we’re speaking of my individual happiness here.  There was nothing I could do about the encroachment.  Another reason took me away, but for a fact, looking back those many years, I couldn’t have remained because the landscape changed more than I wanted to.

So, I come to this:  When I am disgruntled or dissatisfied with something, do I make a scene about it?  I’ve never questioned whether my behavior challenged any amendments of the United States Constitution.  I guess I’ve always felt I was free to do and say what I wished, trying not to cross personal boundaries (admittedly guilty at times), or violate laws.  Many have cautioned me through the years to keep my opinions to myself, insinuating that my opinions may cause dissension among family members, perhaps, or maybe just plain embarrassment for others.  I don’t believe I ever felt I was challenging ‘the establishment’.  Exercising who I was as a person was never a ‘statement of my freedom privilege’.

These days I am trying first to be true to myself, to my ideals, my principles, my integrity.  Since my son took his life almost 6 years ago, I became more serious about almost everything that pertained to me.  I became even more introspective.  I began to subjectively take areas of my life that I knew I disliked, and I decided to do whatever it took to make the changes within myself that would benefit me and everyone around me.  This is work, but it’s worth it.  I’ll tell you something – there really hasn’t been much time for my mind to be distracted by others’ drama (and there’s plenty to notice) while I keep my nose to my own grindstone.

Many defend their actions based on principle.  It’s everyone’s right to defend their principles.  The question is, does it have to be a public statement?  Or, can it be no different than when we do a good deed for another when no one is watching and we don’t mention it later either?  Can it be done in the confines of our home as we teach our children what we think is right and honorable?

Everything we do gives us learning lessons.  Human beings have been living by the trial-and-error method forever.  It seems we can be very stubborn and self-absorbed.  Thankfully, there seems to be evidence of a slight shift of the heart.  Are people finally beginning to see the dynamic between their level of self-love and self-care as it relates to their ability and level of care and concern that they are capable of having for anyone else around them?  Unmistakably there is the correlation, and no attempted change of anything on the outside can happen until change on the inside takes place.

I have so many ideals and ideas I want to consider, all to the end of my own self-fulfillment and awareness around my privilege of living the best life I can live.  I’m proactive for me.  I am no stoic.  I am a freedom fighter and I have never felt my rights have been violated.

I think it is a huge privilege of life in these United States to earn hundreds of thousands – even millions – of dollars a year, playing the sport one loves to play.  I’ve never heard of any racial discrimination toward anyone who can play the game exceptionally well.

Personal decorum, decency and dignity – very personal, indeed.  I am entitled to my opinions, and I make no judgment –   neither does Karma.  Blessed Be All.

 

  

My Blog is About MY Life…My Book is MY OPINION About Life

June 21, 2017 / / "Going for It", Faith and Trust, Life and Living, Life's Impressions, Manifesting our goals and dreams

Today My Life turned another corner – I finished the book I’ve been writing!  Until this very moment, I had no idea when or how the book would end…just as I had no inkling the day I began writing it, just two and one-half short months ago.

I’ve started and never finished three books in my lifetime.  Obviously, as interested I was in beginning each one, I didn’t have enough impetus to finish any of them.  I knew as soon as I began this fourth attempt, that this would be the one that would come to the proper ending….a completed work and a very self-satisfying accomplishment.

Unbridled Commentary….Without Flinch (From a woman of years in “the middle” of her life).  There is no story line….no timeline…no plot …. random thoughts…my opinions about life as I have surmised  through my 80+ years!   There could be more coming…why not?

I initiated Liferays.net July 4, 2015, with full intention of openly excavating my emotions.  I dove to my oysters and searched for the elusive pearls of my essence…my innocence, my purity, unadulterated love for myself and others.  I have not sidestepped or deliberately ignored or hidden anything.  That’s the point of delving into one’s authenticity in the first place, after all!  What I felt, I have shared openly.  I hoped  readers were observing how liberating this experience was proving to be for me.

As I move forward,  I suspect I will be even bolder  as I continue to uncover more emotional artifacts.     The rewards far outweigh the risks as I continue to free my authentic Self.

My book is suspended for now, awaiting my deliberation how to proceed.  The fulfillment and joy that I received writing it has proven to be quite enough for my Soul.  I’ll try to figure out an outlet so others may choose the opportunity to decide whether or not it can be fulfilling to them and provide joy in their lives.

So, for NOW, in my NOW, this is it!   I have all the faith in that which I trust…MYSELF, my goodness of intent, and my Creator.   Blessed Be All.

Everybody has a “GO” button!…and a “Stop-and-Think-About-It” Button Too.

June 16, 2017 / / Faith and Trust, Life and Living

So, I got up this morning, hit my ‘GO’ button, and here I am starting this blog!  That’s what I mean…Life is here for the taking… all of the time.  If we don’t give much thought how we begin, other than to start with a smile and trust the best is yet to come, how wonderful is that anyway?

I’ll never let myself be called a PollyAnna!  No, I see the world all right; I can’t be happy with lots that goes on AT ANY TIME…but, I can always be happy  with what’s going on inside of me.  

Life, in general, is situational.  My Life, on the other hand is personal!  I give myself attitude, latitude, gratitude, magnitude, energy, synergy…I AM the  pulse, the impulse and all else that goes into who I choose to be in all my integrity and truth to myself and what I want to stand for.

I AM the only one who can soften my own blows, set or reset my boundaries, sift out my own facts for my own reality, restructure whatever may be calling for my attention….I AM the only one responsible to stay aligned with my Creator,  fully trusting that alliance will always keep me on course.    I AM ANSWERABLE TO MYSELF!

This said, I love making the choice to live In the Presence, In the Now…It is so freeing to let Life Present to Me….the newness of this experience…no planning, or endless to-do lists or expectations of “shoulds” in any day.  Of course, one does the mundane… grocery lists, keeping track of appointments, maintenance and repairs, etc…… but to drop the obligatory thought process of what I should be doing in this lifetime on a daily basis is absolutely over-the-top optimistically joyful!

No need to dread the all too frequent inquisitions of “When?”, “How?”, “Where?” and “Why?”, ever again!  My confident answer is, “We’ll See!”

I am a leader, not a follower.  I am a starter and I’ll finish when I get to that enigmatic finish [Life] line!  All I have to do is keep pressing my ‘GO’ button every day I awaken to the privilege of living my life that I was created to live.

WHAT’S TO THINK ABOUT?  “GO”!   Blessed Be.

 

The Chips Have Fallen Where They May [Have]…Clean-up Time!

March 22, 2017 / / Life and Living

I love this picture of myself – some may recognize the area of the country, Sedona, Arizona.  It represents who I am to ME!  I love horses, days of the Old West, and above all, I feel FREE in the Wide Open Spaces!

I’m recognizing a space within me that is trying very hard to emerge…a place where I want to feel more compassion toward others as well as myself.  We all have this wonderful emotion, but for some of us, it lays deep, almost dormant.  Why?  Because the art of survival closed off this place as we worked our way through more difficult times of our lives – Speaking for myself, of course.

All these many years later, I am fully aware I no longer have any need to survive, but instead,  have a NEED to unearth my compassion and love so I can envelope my own Self in this warmth of my soul.  I’m realizing that even though I have forgiven others as well as myself through the years, there are ‘chips’ … residue of certain downed trees of my life… that have remained.  This blanket of chips restricts me from  living out complete inner warmth toward everything within and without and around my whole being.   It is only now that I have been able to get in touch with this part of ME.  It is the place where all of the daintiest, most intimate of my experiences have been kept for safekeeping – until now –  when I am capable and willing to resurrect them so they may take their sacred place in my heart where I may nurture them in the sunlight of my privilege of living my life.  This desire to enlarge my heart space toward compassion is  compelling, and I am deliberately  drawing my awareness to these wonderful feelings.    Clearly, this destiny outweighs all else.

I recently spoke in a video of the place of joy that I discovered within myself, and this is yet another awareness toward fulfilling a joyous aspect of human existence, and I’m touching my essence.  I feel my connection with Self.

I have no axes to grind, I want no chips on my shoulders that weigh me down from the pleasures of my full life.  I am demanding release from my emotional blindness.

My Open Spaces are Wider and I  savor this newly introduced Freedom. Blessed Be.

 

I Got To Thinking…..AGAIN!

December 13, 2016 / / Life and Living

I get up in the morning, and the first thing I think is something like, “What am I going to do today?”  Simple enough – I live alone, so if the fire gets started, I’m the one to light it, right?

“Thoughts”…..I’m poking  deeper  now.  Does the Universe put thoughts in my head first?  Or, do I start that ball rolling?  Chicken?  Egg?   I’m going to pick ME!  I’m thinking my day is literally up for grabs.  I hear the news on  TV- no staying power so far. While sitting at my computer,  my eyes make a cursory  turn of the room.  I’m perking –  two cups of coffee helps!  Well, now, I’m feeling happy, enthusiastic for my day – whether I’ve planned anything so far or not.  I’m a very early riser, and it’s still pitch dark outside.  So?  Nothin’ yet!

Let’s change format.  What do I want to do today?  Ah, now, this puts some ‘snap’ into it!

I wonder how children begin to learn how to motivate themselves? Parents spend a lot of time and money planning activities for them. Schools offer countless choices of sports to join.  After hours, parents fill  ‘spare’ time and weekends with movies, bowling, theme parks, shopping…and the list goes on.   Shuttling kids between activities must be exhausting…the more kids, the more exhaustive for everyone?     When does anyone get a break?

Back to me!  I have just given precious thought-power/energy to a subject that doesn’t affect me in the slightest way!   LOOKING OUTSIDE MYSELF….Apparently,  because I am not successful in planning my day thus far,  I have allowed my thoughts a life of their own!

Thought-power.  I just spent precious time and energy exerting  power of my mind and in so doing, I actually delayed structuring  my day!    How much time do I waste in senseless or wistful thoughts looking outside myself?   There are minimum 16 hours every day that I am privileged to spend using my creative brain toward constructive, joy-producing thoughts for myself or others around me.

Albeit a self-chiding lesson,   MY BRAIN HAS ALL IT CAN DO TO CONCENTRATE ON ME AND MY OWN BUSINESS OF LIVING AND BEING AND DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN FOR MYSELF AND OTHERS AROUND ME. 

Conclusion:  I have nothing to do with kids’ self-motivation,  their activities nor how their day is structured or how frazzled parents may become in doing it!  I  have everything to do with  keeping my thoughts out of others’ affairs!

The shoe fits!  Twinge of Truth.  Blessed Be.

My Ship…My Helm…Use My Compass…See My Beacons

January 18, 2016 / / Life and Living

I’ve been trying to excavate my feelings beneath my words these days…to not only feel the feelings but bring them into the light so I can interpret them.

I discovered how absolutely wonderful it felt (while in the shower, of course) to know  my intention was to get back into my morning routine for my peace of mind.   Clearly, if I have peace in my mind there is clarity of thought that provides me with ideas and words that become the action of who I am and whom I am trying to become.

As I stand at the helm of my ship, and look out into the ocean of my world, it occurs to me that I am always looking for beacons (Liferays, if you will), to shine toward me  to show me some direction.  The life inside me stirs and awakens this naturally, I think….if I can be as peaceful and quiet in my mind to be able to ‘hear’ and ‘see’ the gifts that are being extended to me.  By the same token, I, too, send forth beacons that might find places to shine for another.

I’ve openly stated that I write my blog for me first…  it has served as a rewarding and enlightening personal therapy.  As I intuit the material for each article, I am forced to face my words and live them the best way I know how…always learning, always growing.  In so doing, I absolutely know that I am changing and growing in a good way…I know it’s good because I feel extreme freedom and peace as I journey through the whole process.

The windows and doors I’ve opened have allowed a dimension to my life that is proving to be exhilarating and fulfilling.  I have begun sharing ME with an audience. I am amongst likeminded friends and  I now have another way to send a different beacon from my lighthouse.

As I find  my pathway opening up…I am proof that when I intend to make some change, The Universe flings open and sends to me whatever will be to my greatest good.

There’s a subtle caveat within my enlightening journey, however.   As I  move ahead, there are pieces that I want to bring forward with me.  People whom I love and want to keep in my life….Memories that have flavored my soul and softened my hard corners as I learn to accept love and give love.  I have to be careful when I consider all of this, and more than ever keep my eyes on my compass and look for the beacons that are trying to shine toward me.  I proceed in the Faith that my decisions will be made with total consideration and care to the greatest good of All.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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