Emotional Freedom

I Know What I Want To Do… Relax And Follow My Own Dictates.

October 29, 2019 / / Energy Connection, Freedom, GAYA, Grace, Gratitude

I’ve mentioned before I’ve taken two Tai Chi courses, and still haven’t been able to practice the art the way I wanted to!  I never saw myself as graceful, and as long as I envisioned myself as clumsy, It ‘was what it was’!  I’ve bookmarked many a UTube on the practice, and still haven’t been able to achieve what I thought was how I was supposed to perform this incredible healing art.

Well, the tide has turned today for me on this subject.  I listened to a video today which covered, among other things, the art of breathing.  Most of my meditation courses deal with this as well, but for some reason, the presentation I was working with today reached that part of me where I felt my own ease and grace and alignment and it hit me like a ton of bricks!  I’ve been trying to do something the way I have observed others doing it, instead of doing it the way it feels TOTALLY COMFORTABLE for me to do it.   I do not need a class for me to move my body the way my body knows it can move and wants to move to achieve that feeling of alignment, being in tune, enjoying my own movement just as I choose it.  It’s no different than dancing like nobody’s watching!

I’ve been brought to another awareness of how easy it is to put oneself in a pressure cooker, or rush toward a finish line which doesn’t exist.  It’s Grace and Glory to wake up a bit more and feel the purity of my life and the privilege of living it.

I quoted years ago, ‘my life is by my own design’ and this means much more to me this day.  Freedom abounds…choices are abundant…joy is the continuous discoveries that we make that fit like a second skin.  Oh what a glorious 360-degree picture.

Now you know what a true sigh of relief feels like..It’s breathing us in

and breathing out, at your own rate…and acknowledging it feels so good.        ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

Self-Fulfillment…Oh, What a Beautiful Morning, Oh What a Beautiful Day!

April 21, 2018 / / Life and Living, Self-fulfillment

…And a Good Morning it Is!…And a Good Day it Will Be!  When I feel Self-fulfilled, I Feel the Joy and I Feel the Peace!

I’m breaking into the crust of what Self-fulfillment means to me when I Put My Intention to Doing what I Need to Do to Feel It!  It’s all about choice!

I’m meditating now with ritual.  What this means is that I am following through with a commitment to myself which I made after the 21-day meditation experience with Oprah and Deepak.  I commented online after one of the sessions that I was going to include meditation in my daily routine…and this was because I was feeling the positive results early on.  I wrote down all of the thoughts for the day, and the mantras so I am following that…and this is providing me guidance.

When I hoofed this morning it came to me that when I have truly felt self-fulfilled in my lifetime (and most of these times were when I completed projects…and, of course, the highlight of the feeling was when I birthed my sons) I didn’t have to go for the same experience again! 

Let’s take the first time I refinished a piece of furniture.  This was years and years ago when I was raising my sons, and had very little extra money, so when I wanted to ‘see something different’ in my home, I couldn’t just go buy something from a store to augment my rooms…I had to think of a way I could do it with what I already had.  I could afford a can of ‘zip-strip’ to take off furniture finish, and either paint or apply color stain for my ‘new look’.  That ‘first time’ was like none other! I worked extraordinarily hard because I had no past experience, and I followed the directions to a ‘T’. Everything was an unknown.  I was certainly in the NOW and didn’t even know it!  When the final coat dried and I sat back and admired my work…I was overcome with pride of accomplishment.  I loved everything about it, and the absolute glow within myself of self-achievement and the self-fulfillment that accompanied my whole idea in the first place was ENOUGH FOR ME.  There wasn’t any compliment I subsequently received  that came close to my knowing what I had done and how wonderful I felt about my tenacious attitude toward the hard work to get the job done and looking so good.

Since that time I’ve completed many similar projects, and of course, felt self-fulfilled. When I start out a project I already know I can do the job and I know I’ll love the result. I’m not needing that feeling again…I’m loving the ‘hobby of it”.

I’m trying new things these days…new approaches, new logic.  This is about my eating habits, folks.  I’m experimenting with just what choice(s) I can make as I go for some ‘thing’ or some ‘way’ of doing something.  I’m extraordinarily aware of  how I’m thinking about it…and the cream is rising to the top, slowly but surely.  I’m realizing how wonderful I really do feel when I make a deliberate choice to do something that I know is to my best interest and good and ‘feelings about myself’.   Case in Point:  Each day that I have been making such deliberate experience choices, I am creating a snowballing effect of the feeling of self-fulfillment.  My thoughts are not about depriving myself…my thoughts are how I’m thriving and about how capable I am looking after myself….I am feeling the power…I am feeling the joy of taking the reins deliberately!

This is about ME PUTTING INTO ACTION THE WOMAN I AM, THE PERSON WHO IS CONFIDENT OF SELF, THE PERSON WHO KNOWS I CAN MAKE GOOD DECISIONS FOR MYSELF…MOREOVER, I WANT TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS FOR MYSELF!  

I AM FILLING MYSELF UP WITH DELIBERATE THOUGHTS AND CORRESPONDING CHOICES  SO I CAN BE THE VERY BEST I CAN BE…ONE THOUGHT AT A TIME…ONE DAY AT A TIME…AND I AM ABSOLUTELY AWARE THESE DELIBERATE THOUGHTS AND CHOICES ARE RESONATING DEEPER AND DEEPER INTO MY SPIRITUALLY AWAKENING SELF…MY SOUL SELF…ONE-TIME THOUGHTS AND SELF-FULFILLING FEELINGS THAT ONLY I CAN GIVE TO MYSELF FOREVERMORE.  

I know this much:  When I have an AUTHENTIC SELF-FULFILLING EXPERIENCE, I DON’T HAVE TO REPEAT THAT EXPERIENCE AGAIN.   I JUST WANT TO KEEP ADDING MORE CREAM TO THE CAKE…LOVING MYSELF MORE AND MORE!

The more self-confident I become, the more authentic and less vulnerable I AM.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

The Greatest Defense is a Good Offense! Hooray, My Walls are Beginning to Tumble Down!

January 11, 2018 / / Don't be held back, Faith and Trust, Life and Living

Forget the masks!  They’re chicken feed compared to what I’m uncovering now!  I don’t want to be a fighter anymore!  I don’t want to be a defender of who I am, anymore!  I do want to be A “softie”…I have absolutely nothing to fear and I know this NOW!

To all who may have followed me thus far, we know when I declare “I am a strong woman”,  this is more than an identity I have given to myself.  It is the beginning of ‘the greatest defense to a good offense!’  I am fitting my own battle of Jericho!

Because of a series of events recently in my life, and profound awakening  I now recognize and acknowledge, I am ready to get down to the WHYS and WHAT happened way back when in my childhood that taught me how to put up The Great Wall….never to be devastated to that extent again!

 I’ve been so tightly wound up, it is like a riddle of my own life if I’m ready to unwind myself back to ‘wherever’…and as I write these words, I am smiling and cradling myself in my own arms, knowing everything is quite okay and peaceful wherever I find myself landing.

Vulnerable…Naked…Bare…Defenseless.   I am now more able to share this space with  Nonchalant…Relaxing into it…resting in the lesson(s) that are offered me now to my greatest peace of all!

Suddenly, weights have lifted; so much seems ridiculously simple and easy to discard; it’s like I have just said to myself, “”WOW, how could this have been so simple, and how is it that it has taken me 80+ years to get to this place?!”

Keep it Simple!  YES!  Just Do it!  YES!  It Doesn’t Matter!  YES!  Inner Peace!  YES!   To Absolutely Know what ‘GO WITH MY FLOW’ really means!  YES!  Yes, Oh Yes, I Know what ‘IT IS BETWEEN ME AND ME’ means NOW!  YES!  And the list goes on.

It’s my way to explode with what I feel at the time – and this blog is no exception.  It’s not the be-all-end-all with all my answers, NO IT IS NOT!  But, it is my willingness to crack open my human shell and again, peer through myself to that other side where there may just be nothing…other than my mind’s view…my own thoughts which I have created justifying my existence.  Even this doesn’t really matter in the long run.   I hope I will soon learn there is no need to raise my voice again.  I hope I will soon learn there are times I can easily be quiet.  And, I hope I will always enjoy the privilege of using my voice to speak my truth in my own space in this time.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

If It Wasn’t Right ‘Then’, It Certainly Isn’t Right ‘NOW’… Pain-body and Dysfunction Be Gone!

November 23, 2017 / / Life and Living

I got upset today…and before I went overboard…I mean WAY OVERBOARD….I took the time to make myself behave as rationally as possible so I could think through what I was experiencing.  Boy oh Boy, I had to draw upon every awareness I’ve been working with for the past six months.

These past months I’ve been concentrating on living in the NOW; I’ve been working with pain-body and gaining more patience; I’ve been becoming more  aware to mind my own business!   

My stability depends upon honesty to myself first, of course, and to all others.  How I define “honesty’ is how I ‘do it’.  This said, my definition may not be that of others….and this is the important point.  Everyone is different, and they run their own show by their own set of values and definitions of those values.  I’m beginning to think that to try to work with  the pattern of my dysfunction (again, this is my definition), is to make sure I stand tall with how I define myself…laying no blame on anyone or anything else, and never being passive to less than I AM – which I state as my truth of Self.

I’ve come to realize that I have been working on becoming functional…I’ve been deliberately making corrections in the way I think and perceive behaviors of others..and most importantly myself.  I’ve been polishing myself up!  I’ve been enjoying the privilege of ‘setting my record straight’, if you will.

I don’t like sneaky…in fact,  I detest it!  I don’t like innuendo…I don’t like anyone trying to pull the wool over my eyes.  It has always bothered me if I witnessed someone  behaving differently in front of others than they behave in front of me.  That’s about as sneaky as one can get..a virtual display of arrogance and self-assumed privilege, perhaps. I don’t like being manipulated – or let’s say, someone trying to manipulate me…to what end?  To secure or maintain or even try to draw me into what they have chosen to select deceitfully and sneakily, supporting their own dysfunction and moreover, making a silent attempt at my acceptance of it?

I WILL NOT ACCEDE!  

I don’t have to react with disapproval or judgment.  I merely recognize and agree with myself  that I am successfully taking  conscious steps toward breaking a dysfunctional cycle in my own lineage…my concern always is  the direction I take on my Forever Path.

IF I DIDN’T LIKE IT ‘THEN’, I MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT LIKE IT [IN THE] NOW!   Blessed Be All.

 

OPINIONS…EVERYONE HAS SEVERAL.

September 26, 2017 / / "Going for It", Don't be held back, Life's Impressions, Love

I DON’T LIKE COMPLAINING AND I DON’T LIKE COMPLAINERS!

Each person has their own brand of quarreling when it comes to their individual happiness.

I lived on the desert when I first moved to Arizona, 27 years ago…I liked the houses far apart.  I happen to like the ranchy look – hay bales, chickens in the yards, an old relic tractor standing out front and other memories of ‘how the west was won’ – maybe a wagon wheel (off a covered wagon, I hoped), and a horse barn topped it all off.  Soon enough contractors bought up lots of the land and before I knew it, housing developments started creeping in and ‘the look’ was gone.  At that time this was, perhaps, the most important thing happening in my life.  This may appear pretty shallow to some, but we’re speaking of my individual happiness here.  There was nothing I could do about the encroachment.  Another reason took me away, but for a fact, looking back those many years, I couldn’t have remained because the landscape changed more than I wanted to.

So, I come to this:  When I am disgruntled or dissatisfied with something, do I make a scene about it?  I’ve never questioned whether my behavior challenged any amendments of the United States Constitution.  I guess I’ve always felt I was free to do and say what I wished, trying not to cross personal boundaries (admittedly guilty at times), or violate laws.  Many have cautioned me through the years to keep my opinions to myself, insinuating that my opinions may cause dissension among family members, perhaps, or maybe just plain embarrassment for others.  I don’t believe I ever felt I was challenging ‘the establishment’.  Exercising who I was as a person was never a ‘statement of my freedom privilege’.

These days I am trying first to be true to myself, to my ideals, my principles, my integrity.  Since my son took his life almost 6 years ago, I became more serious about almost everything that pertained to me.  I became even more introspective.  I began to subjectively take areas of my life that I knew I disliked, and I decided to do whatever it took to make the changes within myself that would benefit me and everyone around me.  This is work, but it’s worth it.  I’ll tell you something – there really hasn’t been much time for my mind to be distracted by others’ drama (and there’s plenty to notice) while I keep my nose to my own grindstone.

Many defend their actions based on principle.  It’s everyone’s right to defend their principles.  The question is, does it have to be a public statement?  Or, can it be no different than when we do a good deed for another when no one is watching and we don’t mention it later either?  Can it be done in the confines of our home as we teach our children what we think is right and honorable?

Everything we do gives us learning lessons.  Human beings have been living by the trial-and-error method forever.  It seems we can be very stubborn and self-absorbed.  Thankfully, there seems to be evidence of a slight shift of the heart.  Are people finally beginning to see the dynamic between their level of self-love and self-care as it relates to their ability and level of care and concern that they are capable of having for anyone else around them?  Unmistakably there is the correlation, and no attempted change of anything on the outside can happen until change on the inside takes place.

I have so many ideals and ideas I want to consider, all to the end of my own self-fulfillment and awareness around my privilege of living the best life I can live.  I’m proactive for me.  I am no stoic.  I am a freedom fighter and I have never felt my rights have been violated.

I think it is a huge privilege of life in these United States to earn hundreds of thousands – even millions – of dollars a year, playing the sport one loves to play.  I’ve never heard of any racial discrimination toward anyone who can play the game exceptionally well.

Personal decorum, decency and dignity – very personal, indeed.  I am entitled to my opinions, and I make no judgment –   neither does Karma.  Blessed Be All.

 

  

My Blog is About MY Life…My Book is MY OPINION About Life

June 21, 2017 / / "Going for It", Faith and Trust, Life and Living, Life's Impressions, Manifesting our goals and dreams

Today My Life turned another corner – I finished the book I’ve been writing!  Until this very moment, I had no idea when or how the book would end…just as I had no inkling the day I began writing it, just two and one-half short months ago.

I’ve started and never finished three books in my lifetime.  Obviously, as interested I was in beginning each one, I didn’t have enough impetus to finish any of them.  I knew as soon as I began this fourth attempt, that this would be the one that would come to the proper ending….a completed work and a very self-satisfying accomplishment.

Unbridled Commentary….Without Flinch (From a woman of years in “the middle” of her life).  There is no story line….no timeline…no plot …. random thoughts…my opinions about life as I have surmised  through my 80+ years!   There could be more coming…why not?

I initiated Liferays.net July 4, 2015, with full intention of openly excavating my emotions.  I dove to my oysters and searched for the elusive pearls of my essence…my innocence, my purity, unadulterated love for myself and others.  I have not sidestepped or deliberately ignored or hidden anything.  That’s the point of delving into one’s authenticity in the first place, after all!  What I felt, I have shared openly.  I hoped  readers were observing how liberating this experience was proving to be for me.

As I move forward,  I suspect I will be even bolder  as I continue to uncover more emotional artifacts.     The rewards far outweigh the risks as I continue to free my authentic Self.

My book is suspended for now, awaiting my deliberation how to proceed.  The fulfillment and joy that I received writing it has proven to be quite enough for my Soul.  I’ll try to figure out an outlet so others may choose the opportunity to decide whether or not it can be fulfilling to them and provide joy in their lives.

So, for NOW, in my NOW, this is it!   I have all the faith in that which I trust…MYSELF, my goodness of intent, and my Creator.   Blessed Be All.

Everybody has a “GO” button!…and a “Stop-and-Think-About-It” Button Too.

June 16, 2017 / / Faith and Trust, Life and Living

So, I got up this morning, hit my ‘GO’ button, and here I am starting this blog!  That’s what I mean…Life is here for the taking… all of the time.  If we don’t give much thought how we begin, other than to start with a smile and trust the best is yet to come, how wonderful is that anyway?

I’ll never let myself be called a PollyAnna!  No, I see the world all right; I can’t be happy with lots that goes on AT ANY TIME…but, I can always be happy  with what’s going on inside of me.  

Life, in general, is situational.  My Life, on the other hand is personal!  I give myself attitude, latitude, gratitude, magnitude, energy, synergy…I AM the  pulse, the impulse and all else that goes into who I choose to be in all my integrity and truth to myself and what I want to stand for.

I AM the only one who can soften my own blows, set or reset my boundaries, sift out my own facts for my own reality, restructure whatever may be calling for my attention….I AM the only one responsible to stay aligned with my Creator,  fully trusting that alliance will always keep me on course.    I AM ANSWERABLE TO MYSELF!

This said, I love making the choice to live In the Presence, In the Now…It is so freeing to let Life Present to Me….the newness of this experience…no planning, or endless to-do lists or expectations of “shoulds” in any day.  Of course, one does the mundane… grocery lists, keeping track of appointments, maintenance and repairs, etc…… but to drop the obligatory thought process of what I should be doing in this lifetime on a daily basis is absolutely over-the-top optimistically joyful!

No need to dread the all too frequent inquisitions of “When?”, “How?”, “Where?” and “Why?”, ever again!  My confident answer is, “We’ll See!”

I am a leader, not a follower.  I am a starter and I’ll finish when I get to that enigmatic finish [Life] line!  All I have to do is keep pressing my ‘GO’ button every day I awaken to the privilege of living my life that I was created to live.

WHAT’S TO THINK ABOUT?  “GO”!   Blessed Be.

 

Impressions! First or Last, They Count!

March 28, 2017 / / Life and Living, Life's Impressions

The longer I live…the more I seem to learn….or, is it the more I remember?  This is a good question!

I have been thinking a lot lately.  I’m facing a milestone birthday of the chronological length of time I have been on this planet [this go-around, anyway]; I have been reflecting more on a lot of different things.  Putting pieces into better place in my Life Puzzle, and also sifting through some of my CONSISTENT GRATITUDES that have lingered with me throughout my life,  because they are HUGE sighs of relief (relief that I ‘made it through’ some of the not-so-good experiences I chose to have)!

Let’s take people who have come into, stayed, and then left during my life.  There are memories that spring into action as I muse the first time I met them, and the last time I saw them or spoke with them.  Most represent a long span of time, and my first impressions are definitely not my last impressions!  No sadness, nor resentment…more, my feelings are, again, gratitude that they came and stayed, then disappeared,  by both of our choices.  People change.

There are others, however,  although newer relationships, that now linger with a sweetness of heart – a kind of love, if you will – that reached me at yet another depth, and grabbed those strings that play the fervent melodies.  Passionate Life Chords that I know play more of a fulfillment of my Being.  (Hard to explain, but I’m trying.)   It must be that I can identify and treasure these feelings because I am ‘ready’ by virtue of my own maturity and increasing spiritual understanding.  It is I who pursue this side of my life now – it is I who have the fervor within me and I want everything I can garner in this lifetime toward my joy, happiness, and peaceful fulfillment.

How many times I have said,  I ENJOY THE PRIVILEGE OF LIVING MY LIFE!  This statement means more every time I utter the words.

IMPRESSIONS!  Whatever makes an impression of any kind, COUNTS! I welcome my pensive feelings as I write my message this day.  I love that I have come in touch with mySelf in this way today.

I AM ALIVE!   

 

The Chips Have Fallen Where They May [Have]…Clean-up Time!

March 22, 2017 / / Life and Living

I love this picture of myself – some may recognize the area of the country, Sedona, Arizona.  It represents who I am to ME!  I love horses, days of the Old West, and above all, I feel FREE in the Wide Open Spaces!

I’m recognizing a space within me that is trying very hard to emerge…a place where I want to feel more compassion toward others as well as myself.  We all have this wonderful emotion, but for some of us, it lays deep, almost dormant.  Why?  Because the art of survival closed off this place as we worked our way through more difficult times of our lives – Speaking for myself, of course.

All these many years later, I am fully aware I no longer have any need to survive, but instead,  have a NEED to unearth my compassion and love so I can envelope my own Self in this warmth of my soul.  I’m realizing that even though I have forgiven others as well as myself through the years, there are ‘chips’ … residue of certain downed trees of my life… that have remained.  This blanket of chips restricts me from  living out complete inner warmth toward everything within and without and around my whole being.   It is only now that I have been able to get in touch with this part of ME.  It is the place where all of the daintiest, most intimate of my experiences have been kept for safekeeping – until now –  when I am capable and willing to resurrect them so they may take their sacred place in my heart where I may nurture them in the sunlight of my privilege of living my life.  This desire to enlarge my heart space toward compassion is  compelling, and I am deliberately  drawing my awareness to these wonderful feelings.    Clearly, this destiny outweighs all else.

I recently spoke in a video of the place of joy that I discovered within myself, and this is yet another awareness toward fulfilling a joyous aspect of human existence, and I’m touching my essence.  I feel my connection with Self.

I have no axes to grind, I want no chips on my shoulders that weigh me down from the pleasures of my full life.  I am demanding release from my emotional blindness.

My Open Spaces are Wider and I  savor this newly introduced Freedom. Blessed Be.

 

Synchronicity….Is It In Me or Outsida’ Me?…….

January 7, 2016 / / Life and Living

What an amazing concept I intuited this morning.

I recognize when ‘the synchronicity in something’ coincides with my writing or thinking or speaking.  But,  what if it’s me synchronizing with the Universe!  What if it’s my internal recognition of this ‘familiar connect’ and  I’m ready to move and develop in another enlightened way.?   Maybe it’s the communion of my thoughts swirling with likeminded thoughts and when  these thoughts meet, there’s  a natural surge and awakening.   I like it!!  

I did my New Year’s Eve ‘rest, as I encounter my life’, and in this process had to add a few unplanned-for ‘beats to my rhythm’ as the Alpha Year 2016 opened up to me.  Steady as she goes…. I’m still at the helm of my ship!    I must be reading my compass right, because  each day has provided a bit of a cliff to look over, before I jump!  Fact is, I’m loving the new activity  I have introduced into my life and heart! 

I continue to treasure the treasured parts of last year, and have brought them forward to intermingle and shape and sharpen my new learning and enlightenments.   New friends are coming along too – they’re part and parcel of my Treasure Chest!  I’m Joyful and Grateful because of the plethora of experiences that brought me here….SO FAR…SO GOOD.

There’s no question that all of this is coming from inside Me!   This is but another nudge from that which  lives within me…my Soul…my Life Spirit…my Creator…the Universe…The Source… I have  somehow been able to  swing open my heart with the desire to claim and enjoy the life of loving and receiving love, the life of emotional freedom, the life of authenticity – top to bottom – the life of the Joy and Gratitude I’ve been claiming all this time but not feeling it entirely until now.  I know I’m on a marathon journey…I know I haven’t figured any of this out for sure…but I also know, it’s exciting and liberating and full of wondering what’s going to present itself to me?    I’m still on the elevator, going up, taking baby steps.   I’m keeping my eyes and heart wide open.  There’s a giggle and a skip as I continue onward.

OH WHAT A REMARKABLE WORLD THIS REALLY IS!

Living Life Is Such A Treasure

Living Life Is Such A Treasure