Self Respect

Have you ever been handed something from someone for safekeeping?  Years ago a friend of mine was going through a divorce, and she asked if she could put a collector china bowl in my house for safekeeping.  She entrusted this item to me.  My friend never was able to situate herself permanently after that divorce, and she died a few years later.  She never spoke of the bowl from the time she handed it to me nor asked for it back.  It wasn’t until I moved to Arizona, that I sold that bowl…to a reputable collector, again for safekeeping.  I have a bedside table which I purchased from her which brings me directly back to the very day she and I were wallpapering her kitchen getting her home ready for sale.  In spite of the circumstances, I remember we were laughing a lot, as we diligently matched the stripes in that paper!  (Funny how one remembers certain things fondly…she and I had many good times together, and I know she ‘visits’ from time-to-time and so appreciates that I treasure the table I bought from her!)  We were both working single moms, and we met when volunteering to share the position of Co-Den Mothers for Cub Scouts our boys were joining.   We both trusted each other in so many ways.  We said what we meant, and meant what we said.  That makes for a good start of a friendship.  I’m positive we’d be fast friends to this day, had she chosen to spend more time here.

Well, today, I got the same feeling of being trusted..relied upon.  My granddaughter asked if I would proofread her Ph.D dissertation!  What an honor for me!

When I wrote my books, I did proof and edit them…and felt comfortable doing so.  Both my formatter and consultant/adviser had complimented me on the first book, so I didn’t hesitate to do it for the second one.  But today, when my granddaughter asked me if I would do it for her, the feelings were so sweet and I felt so humbled, yet respected and revered as a fully capable person to do a very important job for her.

Come to think of it, I felt the same way when my friend, Jannette, asked me to read the book she had written which chronicled the last days of her mother’s life.  I was honored, and loved doing it for her and, more over, I gleaned so much from her heartfelt story:  a daughter’s devotion and love toward her mother with  her entire family rallying together to serve her in this adoration of those sad events leading to her mother’s passing.

I would say, if you know someone you trust utmost, exert this trust and faith in them…let them know how much you rely upon their safekeeping of your Highest Self….whether it be holding something in confidence, a special teaching you seek only from them, or a skill they possess like none other.  This gift to them will surpass anything of a monetary value, I guarantee it.

Blessed Be, and to All Be Blessed.

I DON’T LIKE COMPLAINING AND I DON’T LIKE COMPLAINERS!

Each person has their own brand of quarreling when it comes to their individual happiness.

I lived on the desert when I first moved to Arizona, 27 years ago…I liked the houses far apart.  I happen to like the ranchy look – hay bales, chickens in the yards, an old relic tractor standing out front and other memories of ‘how the west was won’ – maybe a wagon wheel (off a covered wagon, I hoped), and a horse barn topped it all off.  Soon enough contractors bought up lots of the land and before I knew it, housing developments started creeping in and ‘the look’ was gone.  At that time this was, perhaps, the most important thing happening in my life.  This may appear pretty shallow to some, but we’re speaking of my individual happiness here.  There was nothing I could do about the encroachment.  Another reason took me away, but for a fact, looking back those many years, I couldn’t have remained because the landscape changed more than I wanted to.

So, I come to this:  When I am disgruntled or dissatisfied with something, do I make a scene about it?  I’ve never questioned whether my behavior challenged any amendments of the United States Constitution.  I guess I’ve always felt I was free to do and say what I wished, trying not to cross personal boundaries (admittedly guilty at times), or violate laws.  Many have cautioned me through the years to keep my opinions to myself, insinuating that my opinions may cause dissension among family members, perhaps, or maybe just plain embarrassment for others.  I don’t believe I ever felt I was challenging ‘the establishment’.  Exercising who I was as a person was never a ‘statement of my freedom privilege’.

These days I am trying first to be true to myself, to my ideals, my principles, my integrity.  Since my son took his life almost 6 years ago, I became more serious about almost everything that pertained to me.  I became even more introspective.  I began to subjectively take areas of my life that I knew I disliked, and I decided to do whatever it took to make the changes within myself that would benefit me and everyone around me.  This is work, but it’s worth it.  I’ll tell you something – there really hasn’t been much time for my mind to be distracted by others’ drama (and there’s plenty to notice) while I keep my nose to my own grindstone.

Many defend their actions based on principle.  It’s everyone’s right to defend their principles.  The question is, does it have to be a public statement?  Or, can it be no different than when we do a good deed for another when no one is watching and we don’t mention it later either?  Can it be done in the confines of our home as we teach our children what we think is right and honorable?

Everything we do gives us learning lessons.  Human beings have been living by the trial-and-error method forever.  It seems we can be very stubborn and self-absorbed.  Thankfully, there seems to be evidence of a slight shift of the heart.  Are people finally beginning to see the dynamic between their level of self-love and self-care as it relates to their ability and level of care and concern that they are capable of having for anyone else around them?  Unmistakably there is the correlation, and no attempted change of anything on the outside can happen until change on the inside takes place.

I have so many ideals and ideas I want to consider, all to the end of my own self-fulfillment and awareness around my privilege of living the best life I can live.  I’m proactive for me.  I am no stoic.  I am a freedom fighter and I have never felt my rights have been violated.

I think it is a huge privilege of life in these United States to earn hundreds of thousands – even millions – of dollars a year, playing the sport one loves to play.  I’ve never heard of any racial discrimination toward anyone who can play the game exceptionally well.

Personal decorum, decency and dignity – very personal, indeed.  I am entitled to my opinions, and I make no judgment –   neither does Karma.  Blessed Be All.

 

  

We’ve heard about many who  ‘ponder the meaning of life’, right?  This topic has been intellectualized far too much by far too many in my estimation.  Why don’t people ponder their own lives?  After all, that’s what we know most about isn’t it?

I know myself better than anyone ever has or ever will – this includes my parents, sibling, husbands or best friends (but with one exception, perhaps, my Messenger and deep friend, Jannette Hoeksema).  I’ve never conveyed power over me to anyone, but in Jannette’s case, I have allowed a self-initiated invasion of my deepest privacy whether it be events in my life, or my emotions and pains through which I have learned my lessons to this very day.

Everyone should find an accountability partner.  Someone whom they can explode in front of – not in rage, but with authenticity and consistency and honesty – for the sake of absolute personal freedom to be who they are without fear of criticism or recrimination.

There was a time,  a glove was slapped across a face inviting a duel, in the name of Honor. Men chose death, upholding that honor…was it ego?  Who can know.  Heroics have been witnessed when a civilian,  or in wartime, an individual has jumped in the face of death to save another, or many, without regard to personal welfare.  There was Honor in those hearts to be sure.

Where is my honor?  Is it synonymous with integrity.  I might say so.  The first blog I ever wrote had to do with addiction.  I openly admitted I had beaten the addictions of alcohol and pills known as ‘uppers’ or ‘speed’.  That said, I also stated (I’m sure in the name of my Honor)”… Proudly, I’ve conquered these addictions – but I’m always keeping both eyes open – never to forget my self esteem and self respect are on the line!…”

Self esteem and self respect are huge honorable descriptive traits and this must be felt inside.  But, before I could feel it inside of me, I had to make a conscious commitment to make some changes and then uphold these actions, whereupon I then began to feel self esteem and self respect because I was keeping my promise to myself  and I never took that promise, nor the reasoning behind it, anything less than serious.

Too much talking, too little doing, not enough pondering of our own life.  We talk about things we can do nothing about, and we  complain about things in our lives that we can do everything about.  What is it?  Personal cowardice, laziness, lying, exaggeration,  small talk, superficiality, insincerity, boredom, procrastination or…wait for it…just plain wasting all-too-precious time of our lives!

I’ve shown my heroics and daring to state how I feel about what people are up to and not up to in their lives.  Personally, I am not affected because these time-wasters aren’t my type.  BUT SOCIALLY our children may be at high risk, and our world most definitely is at risk.  If human beings don’t start getting more serious about who they are, how they think, how important their lives are and their responsibilities to themselves and ultimately to this world, WHAT ON EARTH DO WE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO AS A SOCIETY?

It is no wonder I show impatience from time to time.  No judgment here, but as the ecologists keep telling us, it is absolutely wrong to pollute our planet, I also believe it is absolutely wrong to dismiss oneself and the importance of having been created on this planet.   Everyone owes it to mankind to try to be the best they can be for themselves and as we intermingle, we all reap the benefits of honoring Self.

There is nothing to prove to another human being… there is everything to prove to one Self.  Blessed Be All.

 

 

 

Yesserie!…The only Devil I acknowledge is my Ego!  It’s never up to any good as far as I know!  When I’m going backward …. back to my ‘old ways’… I know that diabolical troublemaker has a big hand in whatever is poking it’s ugly head out from under the sand where I thought I dug it in for good!

Especially now, when I’m trying to get a better handle on becoming the person I want to be…when I think I might  be getting the hang of it, so to speak….Then, without warning I find myself in a pickle!

Case in point:   I wrote a blog, “By Hook or By Crook… I Want Off!”  I talked  about the ‘show-off’ stage I had placed myself on for years…and how I had come to grips with the fact I no longer wanted to behave like this nor suffer the accompanying stress!   As I wrote this blog I was so relieved to have recognized this less than desirable trait and was eager to cast it aside!  YET, lo and behold, I discovered I have traded platforms!  Now I’m ‘on’ when I log in to Facebook!   Most every morning I have been posting an ‘attraction’ on my Timeline – as if anyone really is interested in my comings and goings! – as if anyone really cares how I turn a phrase!  I can’t believe I fell back into that trap!   I know I’m beating myself up over this, but authenticity is critical to me, and the last thing I want to present in my blogs is material that doesn’t reflect my sincerity of effort as I continue to fulfill my spiritual quest….  offering my personal experiences along the way.  This is about my Self-worth and Self Confidence!  I already feel better  for having acknowledged this.  (I’m reminded of yet another blog I authored, “Self Satisfaction – It’s Between Me and Me!”…Yes, I get it now, and I have the referenced  ‘Grand Feeling’ once again.)

FULL  GRATITUDE  TO MY UNIVERSE!….  MY CREATOR!….MY INTUIT THAT I TRUST NOW MORE THAN EVER!  THANK GOD FOR THIS REMINDER!

BE GONE EGO!!!…. WHOSE FINAGLING STRENGTHS INTERFERE WITH MY BEING WHOM I KNOW I WANT TO BE.

Aside:    I like the way I write my blogs –  they are inspired.    After I’ve written and published,  The Universe punctiliously offers a life experience to put me to the test of my truth!    I’m so grateful for this life opportunity and I will not intentionally be anyone less than my shared experiences and feelings.

Always Around When I Need Her

Always Around When I Need Her

Yogurt 'n Life

Yogurt ‘n Life

Let’s get this show on the road!  I know how to drink alcohol; Eat!…Eat!… Eat!…;  popped “uppers” when I was in my twenties; and for over 40 years I smoked my brains out!  Proudly, I’ve conquered these addictions –  but  I’m always keeping both eyes open – never to forget my self esteem and self respect are on the line!

On the other hand, about a year ago, one of my  “granddaughters” (a tale to tell later) sent me a yogurt maker.  I make plain whole milk yogurt and Greek yogurt at least twice a week – sometimes more.  There’s nothing like it!  I am a yogurt junkie!!!

I don’t need to kick this healthy habit, but I’d be happy to discuss how  I’ve successfully kicked the others.  Interested?