I am Happy I bought the winter jacket five years ago in Phoenix, cuz it surely gets worn here in New Mexico lately!

I am Happy I saved all my cashmere sweaters from Minnesota over 30 years ago, cuz they’re getting worn lots these days in New Mexico!

I am Happy I lived in real Winters in Minnesota, cuz it’s a piece of cake here in New Mexico!

I am Happy I like wind, cuz it’s windy in New Mexico!

I am Happy I have Porter!  All the time I have spent training him has really paid off!  He’s such a character and he keeps me on my toes!

I am Happy I can still cut my own hair!  That was one of the greatest things I started all those many years ago. I’d be spending a bundle for gas if I had to drive to a beauty salon every month or so to have it done!  And I’ve saved a bundle doing it myself  all this time!

I am Happy I can still type, cuz the Blog keeps going as long as I do!

I am Happy I have a spiritual practice that has grown through the years and it has brought me to a place in my life that is so peace giving and so awakening.

I am Happy that I am so grateful for all that I have.

I am Happy that I can laugh at myself and my antics (there are many associated with aging but also there are many that just plain tickle me, when I’m being ME!)

I am  Happy that I recognize just how happy I am! It is a Blessing.  It is a Gift of Life.

Life has been continuously preparing me for what has been coming to me.  I have been making choices which provided me the experience and learning that enhanced me and my capabilities. I remember saying to myself when I was working in the yard at my last house in Phoenix digging the ‘River Faux’, “you’re showing you’re capable of doing this hard work now in preparation for that ranchy thing when you’ll really be working harder”, or something like that. True enough, Life Prepares us for Life. We are writing our own Life manual as we live it! 

I am Happy I see what a treasure Life is and what a privilege it is to live it the best way I can.

Blessed Be.   To All Blessed.

You give to your own life and you give back to Life.

Graciousness and Gratitude.   ~Gaya

Yesterday, I did a ‘review of my life’ of sorts.  In my mind it looked much like a graph.  Lines going up and down creating peaks and valleys.  At first, it seemed like the peaks represented the ‘good times’ and the valleys were the ‘bad’.  But, as I continued to think, the peaks became more my survivals and the valleys were when I was in turmoil, figuring things out the best I knew how at the time, and making choices and changes trying to make it out of there so I could continue on living and moving forward.

The nice thing about looking back in this quiet way is that it’s easy to see everything that seemed important at the time with relative peace.  Why?  Because I’m here now, not there!

As I continued reviewing what obviously were the more difficult times of my life it became apparent that the most difficult times were repetitive and involved the same people.  Most were those people closest to me.  There also was a pattern when it came to the choices I made, like when I chose husbands, jobs, friends, etc.  I accept responsibility for my choices and outcomes and long ago came to grips with where I was at the time emotionally when I made those choices.  Kind of  like ‘I’d made my bed, so I had to sleep in it’, except  my own rationale allowed me to move the bed around any which way to accommodate a solution! These were the peaks! Resolution and solution.

The repetitive conflicts I had required more than just soothing the wound until another outburst occurred.  (This was the way it had gone for so many years) In retrospect, it required more action BY ME to end it!  Of course, as children we are powerless under an adult, but after we reach 18, we are considered age of majority and are held totally responsible for our actions.  I guess no one told me that I could take affirmative action when I didn’t like things the way they were! That isn’t to say I wasn’t rebellious, because I was, and ofttimes I took action in my own behalf, but many of those times weren’t  permanent.  Needless to say, the familial situations were much more difficult.

I’ve come to believe that in those repetitive situations it was my spiritual quest to survive and live for another day!  I’ve come to think that all of these familial ‘tests’ were offering me again and again the opportunity to emerge victorious – perhaps in past lives I may have buckled over and over again.

I mulled this life review over and as my thoughts kept digging, I began to feel freer, more proud of myself, and I definitely have an understanding within myself which percolates great self-compassion and feelings of achievement and accomplishment and survival.  Never that I can recall have I ever said “Why Me?”. I’ve always viewed myself as stanch.

So, what conclusion did I reach after my life review?  There were no combatants, there were formidable teachers;  I, too, was their teacher…“No, No, Not Anymore!” I realized that I only have pure power for myself.  This is not news to me in statement, but somehow I resonated with this conclusion in a more definite way:  I am not in this world to provide a ballast to someone else’s problems. I am here to be my own ballast and to provide example for others to figure out their own predicament.

“Too soon old, Too late Smart” is not true! Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

We always have your back and hold your hand.

There is no such thing as being alone.   ~Gaya