Conscious Awareness

Hold On! and Let Go!

November 8, 2020 / / "Going for It", Conscious Awareness, GAYA, Grace, Gratitude, Humility, Life's Impressions, My Life, Peace and Understanding

It’s interesting… this journey we’re on!  I was speaking to a longtime friend yesterday, and we both exclaimed it was hard to believe we were at the ages we are. ..she 74, I 83.

In my younger years, NEVER did I spend much time thinking on how old I would live to be, or for that matter, what goals did I have in terms of who I wanted to become, what I wanted to do, what path did I need to follow to reach my dreams and goals.

It seems to make more sense now to think about what have I learned?  How do I assess my life and the choices I have made?  Do I really  have any regrets?  Do I wish I could go back in time and have a ‘redo’?

I know I’m grateful that I have followed my journey with a continuous Faith in a Power Greater Than Me.   I know I am thankful that I never gave up on myself…no matter what was happening, no matter what choices I made.  In so doing, I gained a true trust of Self and my resiliency.

I have to work things out myself to clarity and understanding; I’ve come to accept that each effort I make toward this is admirable. I feel the spiritual connection, my Higher Self, my Soul Self, my Intuitive Consciousness.  It’s not about erasing or lamenting the past.  It’s about valuing it for what it has meant to me in my growth and conscious awareness.  What I may have thought were stumbling blocks were actually building blocks!  It’s about thanking God for the many people and events in my life which appeared at just the right moment.

I can pick that one book that started me on a course of independent learning and has served me well right up to now, AS A MAN THINKETH, by James Allen.  Then there was RISKING, by David Viscott, MD., the book that instilled in me courage to step out on the ledge after tallying the risk.  I learned it wasn’t that scary to try something I had never done before.  I also found out it wasn’t about failing or succeeding, but more about having the experience of attempting and living it in the intention.

Right up to this day, I continuously work on issues and triggers and bothersome, even painful,  circumstances with the same Faith that I will make it better…I will have more understanding and clarity…I will have more resolution.  That’s my optimism.

So, I hold on to what has continued to work, and I try very hard to let go of that which can bog me down and restrict me. It’s important to know that I have a commitment to  enjoying the privilege of living life the best way I know how and enjoying the whole process.  This is the growth and understanding and clarity I keep finding, and the Grace which follows when I reflect on just how great life has been.

We are the strength within you, we are your resiliency, your dreams,

your tenacity,  your curiosity, your love and appreciation for

your life and all it continuously offers.   ~  Gaya

 

 

 

Real Friendship Has No Agenda.

September 12, 2020 / / Authenticity, Conscious Awareness, GAYA, Life's Impressions, Love, Truth to Self

When I’m in a crowded place, like a grocery store, I have no attachment to any of the people milling around.  We’re all there for the same purpose, and we’re directing ourselves to the various aisles where we pick up what we need and move along until we check out.  If I can’t find something, I might ask a fellow shopper. That contact is short and purposeful.  In any case, I haven’t relied upon anyone. There are services offered like carryout, and I use them if needed.

I find it interesting, however, when I think upon ‘friendship’…how and why it begins; how it maintains and flourishes; how the connection can form into an attachment, and then, without notice the friend(s) create an agenda.   And the friendship silently shifts from one of enjoying each other’s company and mutual interests, to one of expectation favoring personal gain. Unknowingly and, perhaps, unwittingly, a person generously begins to present themselves in a ‘helpful’ manner…this could be monetarily, doing favors, just plain helpfulness, but in so doing, that person is also deepening reliance between the two of them.The recipient perceives nothing unusual other than the friendship strengthening.

Then, something happens:  The recipient does something unexpected – nothing mean or devious – but the generous friend takes it very personally, and an eruption occurs.  Apparently, the generous friend had become reliant upon the other friend for something that hadn’t been openly stated.  This is a scenario which occurred with me.

There are business relationships and friend relationships and acquaintances.  I happen to think when someone becomes ‘disappointed’ in someone else, they’ve perhaps relied too heavily upon that person.  My friendships are in my inner circle.  They are few and treasured.  Everything that is exchanged between us is from the heart, with no expectation whatsoever.   There is an open exchange of ideas, dreams and everyday drama.  There is a continuous give-and-take between us, and no one feels they owe another anything in light of the friendship.

We are responsible for our feelings and our own actions.  We are not responsible for the feelings of others. One can be easily manipulated if one does not understand and believe this.  I think true friendships are formed between hearts, and much is willing to be overlooked in the name of that friendship.

Each time we examine ourselves we deliberately expand our conscious awareness. 

This is a fearless and selfless act toward greater authenticity.   ~  Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.  Stay Safe.

 

 

 

I Hold The Magic Wand.

August 27, 2020 / / Authenticity, Conscious Awareness, Don't be held back, Freedom, GAYA, Living in the NOW, Manifesting our goals and dreams, Presence, Responsibility, Self-fulfillment, Self-Realization

I feel the urge, I feel the surge, and I emerge!  … Again and Again and Again!  I think this is the process of how I continue living and doing whatever I set out to do in my life each moment, each hour, and so it goes, on and on.

I’ve learned that living Life isn’t just cut and dried!   It can’t be just a series of habits and repeat performances.  There is always the mundane,  so it’s up to me to hit my ‘refresh’ button!

REFRESH...I love this word!

I don’t ever want to be a ‘stick-in-the-mud’.  I don’t ever want anyone to say to me, “Awe, you’re no fun”, or “Live a Little!” But, I’ve never liked anyone yanking me out of ‘my way’ based on what they think about how I’m doing what I’m doing! I like the feeling of ‘get up and go’, and it’s up to me to do it, not wait for someone else to nudge me or tug on me or even judge me for not appreciating all of the opportunities that are available to me that enhance and expand my Beingness.

A new book I ordered, Welcoming the Unwelcome:  Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World, by Pema Chodron, is being delivered  today.  I’m really excited…like for some long-awaited company!

I am not only offered each new day, I am given the power to observe my own behavior, assess my level of contentment, happiness, joy and calm,  and I have the cognizance to assert myself  for myself  to  fill up my body-mind-soul vessel.  I believe this is my absolute duty, my responsibility, toward myself and my well-being. I am my own instrument effecting the continuous progress of the privilege of living my life as long as I am being.

When you feel your inner peace and joy, you are coming to more understanding of who you are and what you are capable of doing for yourself.  We infinitely support you to your greatest good.    ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Safe and Well.

 

 

 

 

Fear and Worry Create Prisoners!

August 2, 2020 / / Conscious Awareness, Freedom, GAYA, Intuition, Presence, Self-Realization

I got pretty far with fear, how far will I get without it?  I worry about loved ones to what gain?

Another ‘Aha’ moment surfacing:  I’ve pushed myself through, I’ve dreamed  myself through, and I’ve held myself back out of unfounded fear!  I’ve said, “The measure of your fear is the measure of your faith” and I believe it.  I’ve believed it so much that I’ve kept myself a prisoner because of it! I gave fear a status.

When I remember the anxiety shakes I endured for almost 7 years when I was in my thirties, it  occurs to me now that the fear of the onset caused the onset!  The day I was too busy to be concerned about it, was the day I didn’t experience the anxiety and it ultimately disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

The Mind triggers up our fears, again and again.  You’ve heard the expression, “Nothing to lose, everything to gain”.  As long as we’re physically safe, this is a true statement, isn’t it?  “Try, Try again”.  Of course, and why not?   So, if I put the fear IN, I can take it OUT!  I’m feeling POWER again…MY POWER.  And why shouldn’t I?..why shouldn’t we all feel this way?

Why is it we don’t always have the attitude, “I’ve gotten THIS FAR, and NOTHING is going to stop me NOW?

As for Worry?  We all know it’s an exercise in total futility.  Yet, it’s difficult to let go.  Today, I realized when I’m worrying about someone or something, I’ve first made a judgment.  I’ve decided that a person or a thing isn’t right the way it is.  So, in FEAR of what could happen, I’ve anointed myself a ‘seer’ and worry, which imprisons what I am worrying about to ever free themselves, or any circumstance to change, because I perpetuate my prediction which  holds a person, place or thing in a kind of limbo.  WOW!

Now the expression “If you love something, set it free”, makes much more sense too.  This is about what we do to ourselves and to others when we allow fear/worry to shackle us in our mind.    I must live and let live, I must keep my thoughts on myself, and not entangle them…or shall I say, attach them to someone or something else.  It is when I am detached that I am free to experience Life as it presents to me in whatever form, be it an experience, a parent, a child, a friend, a stranger. Better I  be indifferent and not concern myself with outcome.  We have no hold on anything, or anyone.  Everyone is on their own journey, and circumstances will always arise which may not be to our liking, but we’ve walked on coals before, and we’ll rise from ashes again, which I call Success!

I want to take the path of most allowance and least resistance.   This said, there is no room for fear and worry nor judgment.  They are setups for restriction!

Blessed Be.  All Be Safe and Stay Well.

An open mind and open heart insure expansion of conscious awareness.   ~ Gaya

What really matters? (Thinking Out Loud.)

July 18, 2020 / / Conscious Awareness, GAYA, Grace, Love, Our Essence, Peace and Understanding

My stance is that I am a spiritual being living in a human condition; I am inextricably connected to and unconditionally supported by God, Universe, Creator, Source Energy…take your pick. I believe I chose this continuous journey on my Forever Path, for one reason only, and that is to experience as much as possible which expands my awareness and awakens me to who I am at Essence.

Using my Free Will, I make choices that are peculiar only to me.  My response/reaction to what happens as a result of my experiences is exactly the world I continuously choose to create for my awakening.

I have a consciousness…it is what I call my Soul Self, my Higher Self, my Spirit Self.  It is the Inner Being which sustains me, nudges me, supports me, guides me…it is my Essence.

I think it is my duty to my human Self to take this Life seriously and to enjoy it to the fullest, and as I’ve learned through my many years, it is my thoughts, my attention and intention which exemplify just how seriously I am taking my Life.

I know when I am ‘in the swim of things’…I can enjoy a peaceful calm in an entire day or two…sometimes I can mistake this for tiredness, or boredom, or ‘no action’…but in thinking upon this, I believe it is PEACE.  In retrospect, Life has held such a fast-paced beat to it…a rush, a having-to-keep-up feeling, a don’t-forget-this thought, a do-I-have-enough reminder, etc.

All of a sudden I find myself musing about how things appear to be today.  I find myself wanting to connect to something far bigger than what time of the day is it, or what day is it?  I’m being drawn to a pleasantness in Life.  My attitude has more acceptance, more cum se cum sa, more que sera sera, more ob la di, ob la da.

It is my self-fulfillment, self-satisfaction, self-worth, my countenance which matters…and it matters only to me!  How I view the world and life in it, has to do with knowing what really matters.  This Forever Path I am on keeps nudging me forward.

All is in perfect timing.  My Ego would try to scramble my thoughts, but when I observe them, I can bring myself back to the Peace of God which passeth all understanding.  I am of that which created me…this is the POWER OF MY PEACE.

Everything matters only to me.

Personal solace is consciousness.   ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  Stay Well, Be Safe.

Each Person’s Needs are So Personal. It’s All in Perception.

June 15, 2020 / / Conscious Awareness, Don't be held back, Freedom, GAYA, Gratitude, Honoring Intention, Manifesting our goals and dreams, Self-Realization, Truth to Self

I live on $1338.00 per month, and I think I have an abundant life.  This is well below poverty level, yet,  if someone were to ask me what I need to make my life better,  I’d be hard-pressed to give an answer.

I worked and raised my two sons as a single parent, and made choices toward that which I aspired.  I always had it in my head that I wanted a paid-up homestead.  When I was 65, I achieved this goal. Owning a house was to me a most important thing.

My mother had purchased a little house which she used as a rental, and she figured I’d be her perfect tenant.  It was the late 60’s.  I was living hand-to-mouth, had a good job, no savings, and she figured I may as well pay her the rent as any stranger.  With some persuasion, I did move into that one-bedroom house.   She had profited over the purchase price of the home, and one day, she offered to give it to me, if I paid the taxes and closing costs for transferring the deed.  Down the street there was a bi-racial couple. I had always figured she thought her property was going to lose value, so why not give it to me, as against try to sell it.   She and I saw very little eye-to-eye, so I judged her very harshly on my assumptions of her agenda.  I lived in that house for a couple of years, and without breaking any outside walls,  made it into a two-bedroom, installed a dishwasher and put in an eating nook off the kitchen, added double front windows….all with the help of  “Mr. Peach”, my handyman (who moonlighted this work, after he had installed the dishwasher), along with my pure  gumption and grit that always kept me advancing.

When I sold ‘the little blue house’, it was the beginning of me moving forward, buying another one, and another one after that.  When I moved to Phoenix in 1990, it was that last house I sold to make that move, which I had lived in for 13 years.

I’ve shared this story to illustrate that everyone marches to their own drum…listens to their own music…sees the opportunities and is grateful for their successes, or complains for the lack thereof.  Everyone’s reality is different, and has been shaped by their own personal experience.  My  life wasn’t all rosy.  I made good and not-so-good choices…My father was bi-polar, an alcoholic, and had committed less than stellar acts against me which I recount in my last book, My Beginning Game, Without End (A Handbook to Self-Renewal).

My eldest son took his life in 2011.  The following are excerpts from My Beginning Game. “Chapter Three, Brutal Facts

“Thought for the Day and a Truth:  Every bad thing that happens can be looked at in a more favorable light.  You can be grateful under the worst of circumstances if you choose gratitude….Circumstances could have been much worse!  He could have permanently and irreparably disfigured his face and lived, AND/OR he could have sustained brain damage and lived out the rest of his natural life beyond the 46 years when it happened, as a vegetable! I am grateful for the outcome.

“It is so important that we become more serious about things that happen to us, or around us.  It is absolutely necessary that we ‘put it outside of ourselves’ and look at it the way it is, how it could be, how we can change it, how we can dismiss it, how we can decide whether it is Our Business, ‘Their Business’, or God’s Business (to paraphrase Byron Katie, The Work).

“We are not born victims of life.  I believe we are the perceivers of life. Big difference.  How many years I have lived under the assumption that I made my bed and had to sleep in it.  I figured out this was half true.  Yes, I may have made the bed, but I found out I could move it around every which way until I righted myself.  It is called learning the lesson and making some changes!

“…if you are scoffing reading this, if you are choosing not to see it as a truthful possibility, if you choose to sit in your close-mindedness and willingness to stay in the very place you’ve been to this very minute…STOP IT!  There are even more possibilities to a happiness-filled life than I know and have yet to discover!….It’s all in my hands and I refuse to stop.  My Joy and Happiness is at stake, and by the way, that goes for everyone around me too!”

Sometimes tunnel vision is a good thing.

(Caveat:  I have since thanked my Mother for giving me the ‘house start’…No matter what I thought, it was indeed a gift that never stopped giving as far as I was concerned.  I’m grateful I have broadened my views about so many important things.)

Direction, Persistence, Perseverance, Intuitive Wisdom, Heart Space,

Grit, Stamina, Desire, Attention and Intention…all dependent upon

the strength of choices and actions.        ~Gaya

Blessed Be to All,  To All Stay Safe and Well.

 

 

 

Our Presence Is Our Expanding Consciousness

June 2, 2020 / / Conscious Awareness, GAYA, Manifesting our goals and dreams, Presence, True Freedom

I learned something this morning which resonated so deeply, it gives me the shivers!

This is what I commented on after listening to a video by Eckhart Tolle:  “Thank you for this thrilling message! To emphatically realize I am not at the mercy of anything of this world! My Presence, my Consciousness, keeps me free from what I would ordinarily have termed pain or unhappiness or discomfort. It is like being in a room where there is a fan noisily running, and I am the on/off switch.”

I have my share of life’s interruptions which throw me off, get me emotionally involved.  There’s no question I’m a happy person these days and I continue to enjoy the privilege of living my life…but, after all, I am always reckoning with the human condition which I believe I chose to experience in order to learn lessons and grow in awareness and enlightenment on my Forever Path.

Then, as faith in my inextricable connection to, and unconditional support and encouragement of God, Universe, Source, Creator, would have it, I heard the words, “…I am not at the mercy of anything of this world!…” from Mr. Tolle.  I learned when I am in My Presence,  when I feel THE CONNECTION, and realize that I can rise above and remove myself from anything to be riled over, I am on a pathway of creating my own life, my own perceptions, my own reverie of my own life. And, it is unequivocal that others have the same governance over their own Presence.

As enlightenment and awareness increase, so does consciousness ever-expand my life horizon and I feel my Wholeness.  What a beautiful experience this world really is.  What a magnificent opportunity we have to enjoy everything about it when we realize all is to our greatest good and happiness if we are able to enjoy our Presence in it.

Here’s to our Spiritual Beingness…Our Presence in this world.

We enjoy Kaye’s expression of her spiritual growth and awareness, as does she.  ~ Gaya

Blessed Be to All.  To All Be Blessed and Safe and Well.

 

Out With the Old, In With the New!

April 30, 2020 / / Conscious Awareness, GAYA, Grace, Gratitude, Honoring Intention, Humility, It's all in the Energy, Life's Impressions, Peace and Understanding, Responsibility, Self-Realization, True Freedom

I’m not going to wait to see what the ‘New Normal’ is going to be!  I’ve been configuring my ‘new normal’ for the past few years as I keep changing myself ‘UP’ and ‘FORWARD’ the best way I know how…and this continues to be with a lot of outside help!

Doesn’t it seem curious that Covid-19 had to present itself, before the world society as a whole had to go into crises mode and begin to take LIFE seriously?

Before this pandemic, we were caught up in the fires in Australia, and the drug pandemic and terrorism and school shootings, to say nothing of our own personal life tantrums, everyday lives, births and deaths which are always ongoing.

Years ago, I was told by a boss  he didn’t think I took life seriously.  This remained a quandary in my mind for years…I really didn’t know what he had meant.  I gave him tribute  in my first book:  “To the late ‘Odie’, who said to me, ‘Kaye, I don’t think you take yourself seriously!’.  I carried his words with me without full grasp for more than 30 years.  This wise man spoke to my future enlightenment and made his mark upon my Soul.  His message holds a remarkable place within me and he deserves this special tribute. I know he is aware.”

What is it about the human nature that is so peculiar to each of us when it comes to what ‘reaches’ us?  I know it isn’t the same for everyone.  It seems we have a stubbornness, or a bullish attitude, or some kind of inner stance that necessitates a ‘leg sweep’, bringing us to our own ‘bottom hit’, before something miraculous is able to happen…before we finally grab hold of a perceived threat and get serious within ourselves.  WHAT A SHAME IT HAS TO COME TO THAT!

It’s like we offer up continuous dares to God, Source Energy,the Universe, the Creator, as if our lives were  our own whimsical success story no matter what we did or didn’t do!

Fact!  I have to take even better care of myself.  I have to be even more aware of my surroundings.  I have to realize how imminently connected I am physically with everything and everyone around me at all times.  I have to think more outside the box when it comes to my personal safety.  I have to realize that unseen catastrophes can be averted when I am more mindful living in the NOW.

What I am suggesting to myself is that I need to live more carefully, less carelessly, with less assumption that things are the same more than they are different or changing. The World Is Changing All The Time.   I may not be able to keep up with all of the advances in science and technology and medicine, but I am able to continuously take better care of myself within the societal landscape of my own life.

A neighborhood acquaintance came to my door yesterday…apparently, in total disregard of our current ‘stay home if you don’t have to go out’ ground rules.  I was astonished.  It seemed he came for a social visit.  I immediately asked him to step back and keep his distance…I had no plans to invite him in.  People do strange things!

We’ve been told when we’re behind the wheel of a car, to be a defensive driver.  I think the time has come that we have to become a ‘defensive liver!’  We have to beware and stand ready to take action against thoughtless behaviors of others.  Socially, it seems we are inclined to give leeway to another, giving one the benefit of the doubt, but I think these days are now over.  Instead of being our brother’s/sister’s keeper, we have to be more mindful to make sure our brother/sister is more responsible, by virtue of our own responsibility to self.  We have to always be thinking in the name of the common good.  We cannot be permitting or allowing, in the face of worrying about hurting another’s feelings.  Time has come that we’ve been rapped on the head…or, I’ll say, I feel the rap on my own head…I’ve got to stand up in a different way for my welfare, my safety, my peace and my calm.  IT’S ABOUT BEING MATTER-OF-FACT ABOUT LIFE.

The Times, They Are A-changin’.  I will be more responsible for my place in this world, in my home, my neighborhood and how I view my life.  Life is indeed serious business…it always has been.  Nothing should be taken for granted.

It is good when one recognizes just how precious everything under creation is.   ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Well and Safe.

 

Time Is Always At Hand.

April 7, 2020 / / Authenticity, Conscious Awareness, GAYA, Gratitude, Honoring Intention, Life's Impressions, Living in the NOW, Mindfulness, Responsibility

‘Now is the time for all good men [women] to come to the aid of their country.’  Does this look familiar to some of you?  It is the sentence we used in typing class.  Why I thought of it this morning, I don’t know…but isn’t it appropriate?

If I’m going to come to the aid of my country, I have to come to my own aid first.  This means back to basics when I think this way.

I turned 83 this past week and I must say, it feels good.  I’ve been on this earth quite a long while.  So much has happened. And, these days, we are experiencing something very new…IT’S A FIRST FOR ME IN ALL MY YEARS.  In all my time, I guess it’s the right time for me to experience this pandemic virus, Covid 19.

Every time is the right time for each one of us.  We all have our own perception of things, we have our own reality, we think peculiarly to ourselves.

TIME. I have as much as I need to do what has to be done.  There is always just enough of it to complete each moment I am alive.   It’s always available to me…like an never-emptying vessel. I have it when I’m sleeping and when I am awake.  I can use it however I wish, to do with as I choose.   I can choose to repeat, or change, or waste it.  I can spend time, I can never save it.  Yet, it’s always at my fingertips.

Time is like a magic wand.  Wherever I place my attention and intention, I make choices and take actions and create my world…all in the time I have.  At the end of the day it’s about ME and how I’ve utilized MY time.  At the end of the day, it’s about what I’VE been up to!

As of this moment, I have a new respect and concept of TIME.  I value it more. It is truly an overlooked treasure. As long as I am breathing, I am ‘in the Grace of Time’.  I am the magician in my life.  I can take time to do anything.

Blessed Be. To All Be Blessed.  All Be Well.

Closer she comes to more clarity and understanding of what is important to her.  ~Gaya

 

 

STAY ON MY TOES!

March 9, 2020 / / Authenticity, Conscious Awareness, Energy Connection, Faith and Trust, Freedom, GAYA, Grace, Honoring Intention, Humility, I AM WHO I AM

Life is so fluid, and I keep moving along with it, whether I like it or not.  One thing’s for sure though – my thoughts have to stay current with my days!  This is a mouthful, folks!

When I decide something, it becomes a moot point.  My thoughts bring me to my choices and actions right away. Then, off I go to the races to other thoughts that are determining my Forever Unending Pathway.  Concurrently, I am experiencing contrast – some by my own doing, and some through Life’s presentations.  I try to thoughtfully respond, but all too often I react instead.

I think I keep way too much in my head after I have made a decision about something.    It may be because it’s familiar territory, and it’s easier to chew over the same cud rather than begin again and again, but the fact is, life is a continuous stream of  new experiences.

It is my responsibility to keep up with the fast-paced stream, and I also have to keep myself current with what my attention and intention is.  It’s as simple as that!   I want to know where I want to be in all of the activity.  I pretty much stay out of the fray anyway.  I go where I am interested in going.  I won’t be dragged along by others anywhere.

I guess what I’m pointing out to myself is that this NOW I’m trying to live never has a past or a future, only NOW, and this is just enough for me to handle.

As I’ve gotten older, I can look back to ‘simpler’ times, but why?  Those who came after me never knew of them, they’re living what they know NOW.  And to look back and lament is a warped way of complaining as I see it.

Come to think of it, as I grew up and lived my life, things were moving fast too, and I was learning new things all the time.  I never sat with my experiences and asked Life to slow down.  I mostly thought of the ways to resolve and solve what needed attention.

So, I guess the long and the short of this message is an affirmation that I always have been at the helm of my ship, directing my course, whether I was aware of it or not.  Fast pace or slow, I’m always responsible for my actions and words, and what I create

I am a powerful spiritual being, aligned with God, Source, Universe, Creator.

No one is alone…lest in their thoughts.  Breathe in the healing energy,

and breathe out that which no longer serves you.    It is good to  honor

your inextricable connection to God.   ~Gaya

 

 

 

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