Freedom

For the past four days I’ve been working hard in the mornings.  Sagebrush and weeds!!!  Sagebrush is prickly, difficult to work with, and unsightly! And the weeds…they’re green, healthy, thrive from the monsoon rains, and they’re not grass!    All part of ‘ranching’!  I think to myself, “you’re not in the city…you’re in the country, you don’t want a pristine place, but WHAT DO YOU WANT?”

This is the privilege of living:  what DO I want?  This I ask myself countless times a day.  Sometimes the answer is reflected by the choices I make without the obvious question prodding me.  It’s the spontaneous living in the NOW.  I believe I’m being led on the latest path I have chosen.  I try not to get frustrated, and certainly not discouraged, but it is a ‘puzzlement’ when tackling something absolutely new. I find I’m relying upon many of the things I have written or said that have to do with my spiritual practice.  I rely upon trust, faith and a knowing that it all will unfold in good time.  I always see progress and I have considerable satisfaction from my accomplishments.

I have joy in my heart.  Out of the unknowingness of it all,  I have a confidence all is as it’s meant to be.  I have evoked within myself another level of consciousness because I am not coasting…I’m instigating. In my unknowingness, I’m more conscious than ever about my choices and decisions.  I am more alive in my living!  Life is pleasantly serious…more consciously decisive.

Responsibility is a good thing.  It provokes taking care of myself as a human being, a friend,  and a mother; my darling little dog, Porter; my house and land; my car…and it keeps me focused on my thoughts.  Responsibility can’t be a burden when I honor the choices I make. Something positive is growing inside me as I reckon with the astonishing results of my expanding experience. I have more gratitude for the privilege of attending to that which makes demands upon me.  This is the polishing of my life.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

All is well…as it is.  ~Gaya

 

 

That’s what I said early yesterday morning! Can’t remember the last time I heard an owl, that’s for sure.  It brings me pause…undoubtedly there have been myriad things in my lifetime that were so important at the time that simply slipped away because I didn’t capture them.  We’re told “Stop and smell the roses” (or the coffee). Then, there’s this poignant one:  “You’ll never miss your mother ’til she’s gone.”

I’m reminded that everything is notably important at the time!

When I am in the state of conscious gratitude I can list some things that come to my mind.  BUT, as I write this morning,  clearly there is much more specificity to life.  There is an urgency each moment and that’s what living in the NOW is all about.  It’s all these fleeting moments that have made up my life.  I am an artist, after all!  And my amazing life portrait is captured by my eyes only! The thrills are never gone.  The colors never fade. I am the beholder! All of life is special!  As long as I cherish my life, I’ll have no regrets.

I recall a live stream I did many years ago where I used the phrase ‘exalt yourself’.’  We ought honor and exalt ourselves and our existence.  We have such ability to always be the prize in our own lives.  It is an invaluable treasure we discover when we silently realize synchronicity in our lives; when we begin to grasp the broader scope of our Beingness; when life takes on this specialized opportunity of awareness.

I am at the tip of my own iceberg. I realize now there have been so many iceberg tips! Eureka! There’s always something new coming to me.  How on earth can I ever be bored and without wonder? What an appropriate time of year to express JOY TO THE WORLD! … JOY TO MY WORLD!

Listen in the silence, and see in the darkness, no need to question, all is right NOW.  ~ Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.  Stay Safe and Be Well.

 

 

We’ve all heard ‘Never say Never’, right?  And too, we’ve all heard ‘Always follow your Dreams’! Well, I’ve done that, and at 84 years old, I am embarking on what I’ll call another journey…one that I’ve dreamed of since I was five years old.  I’ve written about it in this blog from time-to-time as well:  Finding my ‘ranchy thing’.

At 5:15 A.M. Tuesday, August 31st, I drove 341 miles to a smaller town (approx. 25,000 population) in New Mexico, met with my realtor, viewed 6 houses, made an offer on one, came back to Phoenix the next morning, put my house up for sale, sold it that following weekend, and since then have been performing my due diligence bringing this matter together.  Plans are I will be moving to New Mexico on October 28th.  Everything has gone very smoothly…no push and shove.

I found my “DreamCatcher Ranch”!

It seemed like this two-acre spot has been waiting for me.  When I viewed the property online, it felt like it was meant to be mine, and when I saw it that day and walked into the house it felt like home.  The trip certainly was worth it. 

These past many years I have lived a full life, had some wonderful experiences, came through some difficult times too,  and I’ve always held the special place in my heart and mind for the ‘ranchy place’.  I put the dream on hold more than once, and one time actually said, “I’m done looking!”  That was my brain speaking but not my heart.  Recently, when I revved up my motor again, it was quite unexpected, but there was a newfound energy with it.  All of a sudden the pieces began to fit together, and as I wrote above, the events unfolded and I’m here writing about it a short 3+ weeks later!

Interestingly, when I embarked on the move to Phoenix for the final time 30 years ago, my eldest son made the trip with me.  I was so excited to finally get here.  Now, I’ll be riding with my other son with the same excitement to an adjoining Southwestern state…  an expansion of my horizon.  My life is coming full circle, as I see it.  This move isn’t completing me, it is fulfilling me.  It feels so comfortable and I am ready for it.

I hope this message is inspiring to others.  Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed.  Experiences are meant to be had through the choices we make for ourselves. Dreams are meant to be fulfilled.

Miracles do happen! I am so grateful for every moment, every NOW.

You had this in you all the time, Kaye.  When you speak of property,

you say, ‘Location, Location, Location’…when you speak of

manifesting your dreams, we say, “Timing, Timing, Timing”.   ~Gaya

Blessed Be. To All Be Blessed.  Stay Safe and Be Well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Birth of Consciousness

 

I can’t write it, nor will I read it, or say it…feel it or think it!  IT all comes from the Universe through us.  From the beginning we have been blessed with prophets, gurus, mentors, knowers, sages…the Holy Information…we still have them walking our earth.  Jesus and Nelson Mandela come to my mind just now.

I think my step mother set such good example for me those many years ago, and it is in these days I’m brought back to her grace and ease and her faith, her exceptional countenance.  She blessed me in so many ways.  It was the best thing my father ever did for me in marrying her and introducing her into my life.  She had that ‘Presence’.

For many years I have accepted spiritual concepts which served me well.  Yet, it is apparent to me now, that when I resonate with a concept, the work begins when I put it into practice.  It is at this time of living the concept that I am beginning to understand…this is very personal work.  It is very holy work. It is work in silence. This work drops the ego at the door, and begins to develop insight and personal application and the outlook is so promising.  Each moment is a gem of experience, without flattery.  It Just Is!

Believing I know something, doesn’t have a permanent place.  It truly is the experience and application which proves the existence of God, Universe, Creator, whatever you choose.  In this process I actually fill up with IT.  The sharp edges are turned, and I receive the ‘Peace which passeth all understanding’ from time-to-time.  It comes in small moments of recognition along with joy. There is an understood  affirmation from within.

I know I am grateful for everything.  There is nothing original.  Be good to yourself and others.  Be kind.  Love what is all around us. This  really keeps it simple, doesn’t it?  There is no need to complicate our lives with input from the outside.  We have all the peace and the way to find more from within ourselves.  Experience life consciously. There is much to be said of Walking in Faith.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.  Be Safe and Stay Healthy.

There is so much personal power,  from thoughts to choices to experiences.

You create the life you have.   ~Gaya

 

 

I’ve stated many times that I talk to myself, and I really do believe this inner dialogue is between me and my Higher Self.  The thing is, I have so many thoughts all of the time, and it’s the important ones I want to hold dear.  I’ve discovered how I select which are the important thoughts: I’m nudged to write them down, like in a post, or in my books, or in a journal, or in this blog. I have a Word file which I label Hope and Faith.  I add to this all of the time.  It’s my glossary of excerpts I have written in comments/answers online, and it’s also others’ words which I have found so profound and meaningful to me.

So what am I trying to say?  In my introspection, I know I’ve repeated during live streams that I do them for me as well as for anyone who finds them meaningful and helpful.  Now I’m beginning to think they’re much more for me when I’m trying to get in touch with myself.

Some say it’s through pain and suffering that we find our way as we resolve and solve and triumph repeatedly throughout our lifetimes.  I agree; however,  I also think when I’m quiet and in deep thought because I am searching for some answers, and when I have asked for help in finding my way, these answers seem to appear from me to me.

I’m certain I’ve touched on this theory in prior blogs, but now I’m much more specific to my point. If I can help it, I don’t want to go down the pathway of pain and suffering as a final option just because I’ve neglected to read the signs that are given to me each and every day…and they are in black and white!  My own words!  My own instructions to Me!  My walking my Talk! These are Blessings, it is God-given Grace.

Never to forget I am a Divine Being, living in a human condition.  I have intuition…I know when I am in tune, going with the flow, acknowledging my own inquiry.  I hear it:  “Be still, and know that I am God.”

There is no such thing as being lost, you are your own audience.

When you ask the question, you are prepared to give yourself the right answer.  ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed. Stay Safe and Well.

 

It’s so important what I think, what I say, what I do. Whatever comes out of my mouth and however I behave tells others exactly who I am for that time. I want to put more conscious awareness upon my actions, words and deeds…not how it relates to what others think about me, but rather,  to what power I have that creates my small world, my happiness and joy, my frustration and dis-ease.

To be more clear:  One can get so swept up in ‘appearances’, when instead, the conscious awareness ought to be on what really is! When I react, as against respond with a deliberate thought about something, I’m not intending to show who I AM at the time.  In fact, the exact opposite occurs:  I show my disorganized mind and emotions,,.my unconscious  unaware  side.

Life happens quickly…moment to moment…and I think it behooves me to slow myself down so I can relish in the delights of the five senses during the precious NOW moments.  What more is there, after all, than enjoying what I’m up to, what I’m experiencing, creating, as I act out my life play?

This is  ‘deliberate’ living ‘ … Authenticity at its best.

When I’m ‘on top of my game’, my inside artist is hard at work, designing in detail what I am thinking about, what kind of attention I’m giving to it, what outcome I am  expecting. In this very process I’m adding the color to my life and when I provide the details, the excitement that begins to happen is essentially me creating my small world for my own pure enjoyment and gratification.  It’s in these moments I am so grateful for all that I have.  I have so many gifts to use which stir from within.  We all do.  It’s a matter of  letting those ‘cats out of the bag’!

Perfect Timing!  I’m intentionally setting a deliberate action plan for me to more consciously initiate. I’m creating more ‘Go’ in my Flow.  I’m bringing more privilege of living my life with the deliberate intention of enjoying the whole journey.

There’s no question about it:  I have no endgame in sight!  I guess that’s what life is all about…we deliberately keep enjoying our ‘lifestyle’.

Blessed Be.  Be Safe and Well, All.

“You’ve Got This!”         ~Gaya

I feel the urge, I feel the surge, and I emerge!  … Again and Again and Again!  I think this is the process of how I continue living and doing whatever I set out to do in my life each moment, each hour, and so it goes, on and on.

I’ve learned that living Life isn’t just cut and dried!   It can’t be just a series of habits and repeat performances.  There is always the mundane,  so it’s up to me to hit my ‘refresh’ button!

REFRESH...I love this word!

I don’t ever want to be a ‘stick-in-the-mud’.  I don’t ever want anyone to say to me, “Awe, you’re no fun”, or “Live a Little!” But, I’ve never liked anyone yanking me out of ‘my way’ based on what they think about how I’m doing what I’m doing! I like the feeling of ‘get up and go’, and it’s up to me to do it, not wait for someone else to nudge me or tug on me or even judge me for not appreciating all of the opportunities that are available to me that enhance and expand my Beingness.

A new book I ordered, Welcoming the Unwelcome:  Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World, by Pema Chodron, is being delivered  today.  I’m really excited…like for some long-awaited company!

I am not only offered each new day, I am given the power to observe my own behavior, assess my level of contentment, happiness, joy and calm,  and I have the cognizance to assert myself  for myself  to  fill up my body-mind-soul vessel.  I believe this is my absolute duty, my responsibility, toward myself and my well-being. I am my own instrument effecting the continuous progress of the privilege of living my life as long as I am being.

When you feel your inner peace and joy, you are coming to more understanding of who you are and what you are capable of doing for yourself.  We infinitely support you to your greatest good.    ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Safe and Well.

 

 

 

 

I got pretty far with fear, how far will I get without it?  I worry about loved ones to what gain?

Another ‘Aha’ moment surfacing:  I’ve pushed myself through, I’ve dreamed  myself through, and I’ve held myself back out of unfounded fear!  I’ve said, “The measure of your fear is the measure of your faith” and I believe it.  I’ve believed it so much that I’ve kept myself a prisoner because of it! I gave fear a status.

When I remember the anxiety shakes I endured for almost 7 years when I was in my thirties, it  occurs to me now that the fear of the onset caused the onset!  The day I was too busy to be concerned about it, was the day I didn’t experience the anxiety and it ultimately disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

The Mind triggers up our fears, again and again.  You’ve heard the expression, “Nothing to lose, everything to gain”.  As long as we’re physically safe, this is a true statement, isn’t it?  “Try, Try again”.  Of course, and why not?   So, if I put the fear IN, I can take it OUT!  I’m feeling POWER again…MY POWER.  And why shouldn’t I?..why shouldn’t we all feel this way?

Why is it we don’t always have the attitude, “I’ve gotten THIS FAR, and NOTHING is going to stop me NOW?

As for Worry?  We all know it’s an exercise in total futility.  Yet, it’s difficult to let go.  Today, I realized when I’m worrying about someone or something, I’ve first made a judgment.  I’ve decided that a person or a thing isn’t right the way it is.  So, in FEAR of what could happen, I’ve anointed myself a ‘seer’ and worry, which imprisons what I am worrying about to ever free themselves, or any circumstance to change, because I perpetuate my prediction which  holds a person, place or thing in a kind of limboWOW!

Now the expression “If you love something, set it free”, makes much more sense too.  This is about what we do to ourselves and to others when we allow fear/worry to shackle us in our mind.    I must live and let live, I must keep my thoughts on myself, and not entangle them…or shall I say, attach them to someone or something else.  It is when I am detached that I am free to experience Life as it presents to me in whatever form, be it an experience, a parent, a child, a friend, a stranger. Better I  be indifferent and not concern myself with outcome.  We have no hold on anything, or anyone.  Everyone is on their own journey, and circumstances will always arise which may not be to our liking, but we’ve walked on coals before, and we’ll rise from ashes again, which I call Success!

I want to take the path of most allowance and least resistance.   This said, there is no room for fear and worry nor judgment.  They are setups for restriction!

Blessed Be.  All Be Safe and Stay Well.

An open mind and open heart insure expansion of conscious awareness.   ~ Gaya

I live on $1338.00 per month, and I think I have an abundant life.  This is well below poverty level, yet,  if someone were to ask me what I need to make my life better,  I’d be hard-pressed to give an answer.

I worked and raised my two sons as a single parent, and made choices toward that which I aspired.  I always had it in my head that I wanted a paid-up homestead.  When I was 65, I achieved this goal. Owning a house was to me a most important thing.

My mother had purchased a little house which she used as a rental, and she figured I’d be her perfect tenant.  It was the late 60’s.  I was living hand-to-mouth, had a good job, no savings, and she figured I may as well pay her the rent as any stranger.  With some persuasion, I did move into that one-bedroom house.   She had profited over the purchase price of the home, and one day, she offered to give it to me, if I paid the taxes and closing costs for transferring the deed.  Down the street there was a bi-racial couple. I had always figured she thought her property was going to lose value, so why not give it to me, as against try to sell it.   She and I saw very little eye-to-eye, so I judged her very harshly on my assumptions of her agenda.  I lived in that house for a couple of years, and without breaking any outside walls,  made it into a two-bedroom, installed a dishwasher and put in an eating nook off the kitchen, added double front windows….all with the help of  “Mr. Peach”, my handyman (who moonlighted this work, after he had installed the dishwasher), along with my pure  gumption and grit that always kept me advancing.

When I sold ‘the little blue house’, it was the beginning of me moving forward, buying another one, and another one after that.  When I moved to Phoenix in 1990, it was that last house I sold to make that move, which I had lived in for 13 years.

I’ve shared this story to illustrate that everyone marches to their own drum…listens to their own music…sees the opportunities and is grateful for their successes, or complains for the lack thereof.  Everyone’s reality is different, and has been shaped by their own personal experience.  My  life wasn’t all rosy.  I made good and not-so-good choices…My father was bi-polar, an alcoholic, and had committed less than stellar acts against me which I recount in my last book, My Beginning Game, Without End (A Handbook to Self-Renewal).

My eldest son took his life in 2011.  The following are excerpts from My Beginning Game. “Chapter Three, Brutal Facts

“Thought for the Day and a Truth:  Every bad thing that happens can be looked at in a more favorable light.  You can be grateful under the worst of circumstances if you choose gratitude….Circumstances could have been much worse!  He could have permanently and irreparably disfigured his face and lived, AND/OR he could have sustained brain damage and lived out the rest of his natural life beyond the 46 years when it happened, as a vegetable! I am grateful for the outcome.

“It is so important that we become more serious about things that happen to us, or around us.  It is absolutely necessary that we ‘put it outside of ourselves’ and look at it the way it is, how it could be, how we can change it, how we can dismiss it, how we can decide whether it is Our Business, ‘Their Business’, or God’s Business (to paraphrase Byron Katie, The Work).

“We are not born victims of life.  I believe we are the perceivers of life. Big difference.  How many years I have lived under the assumption that I made my bed and had to sleep in it.  I figured out this was half true.  Yes, I may have made the bed, but I found out I could move it around every which way until I righted myself.  It is called learning the lesson and making some changes!

“…if you are scoffing reading this, if you are choosing not to see it as a truthful possibility, if you choose to sit in your close-mindedness and willingness to stay in the very place you’ve been to this very minute…STOP IT!  There are even more possibilities to a happiness-filled life than I know and have yet to discover!….It’s all in my hands and I refuse to stop.  My Joy and Happiness is at stake, and by the way, that goes for everyone around me too!”

Sometimes tunnel vision is a good thing.

(Caveat:  I have since thanked my Mother for giving me the ‘house start’…No matter what I thought, it was indeed a gift that never stopped giving as far as I was concerned.  I’m grateful I have broadened my views about so many important things.)

Direction, Persistence, Perseverance, Intuitive Wisdom, Heart Space,

Grit, Stamina, Desire, Attention and Intention…all dependent upon

the strength of choices and actions.        ~Gaya

Blessed Be to All,  To All Stay Safe and Well.