Humility

Life can appear as a whirlwind sometimes…and if I let my thoughts pick up and attach and define, I do myself a true disservice.

I’ve been able to observe change, my ego’s attempts to disrupt me even more, and my ability to hold the course of desired peace in my heart.

I am filled with relief, and gratitude, and pleasant surprise, self-awareness, and astounding presence. I believe I have taken a step upward in learning, i.e., upward in the vertical(spiritual) dimension, as against a traditional effort in the horizontal (human) dimension. I have made a conscious decision to hand over the reins and allow my Deep I to lead me. For those readers who are followers of Eckhart Tolle, you will understand what I mean here.

My understanding and spiritual progress is within me and that’s where it belongs.  There doesn’t have to be testament to the intricacies of my process.

It would seem I have created a conundrum or a contradiction; however, I’m merely trying to exemplify what a satisfying experience it is to hold inside myself the ‘meat and potatoes’ of my spiritual progress as I’m writing this blog, yet I want others to also know that it is occurring. I want to give others hope if they have been searching for relief in their own lives and have yet to receive it that it does come and at precisely the right time…CONTINUE IN FAITH.

Now more than ever I intend to keep my own counsel with the understanding that to explode all to the outside does in fact have a diluting effect to a point.  I’m feeling my strength impacting me within and it’s accompanied with a silent understandng that ego must stand down.

I hope this blog can be helpful.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

There are some things which are beyond definition

and explanation.  This may be one such time.     Gaya

 

 

It’s kind of like keeping my word…it involves being true to self…it’s about living each day on purpose.  THIS IS WHAT SHOWING UP MEANS TO ME.

As I continue to grow older (which is an amazement to me, believe me), I’ve become not only grateful for the opportunity to keep on living and enjoying life,  I want to show up every day with enthusiasm and eagerness as I greet every morning.  I want Porter, my little enjoyable companion, to feel safe and secure just as I try to keep myself the same way.

I want my attitude and actions to reflect just how sincere I am about giving as much of myself to this life as I can.  There is nothing about life which is lackadaisical as far as I see it. It involves acceptance and interest and creativity and sincerity and love of myself and other living beings and continuous reminders to myself that I am inextricably connected to, and unconditionally loved and supported by God, Universe, Creator, Higher Intelligence…whatever you choose to call it. And along with this, I couple with my Faith that I am continuously creating my own joy and happiness while I live  every moment, as I live in the NOW.

It’s not about making my mark while I spend my time on this earth, but it is about holding myself accountable to make my life count in respect and gratitude for the gift I have been given to live it. I want to feel that I have become better every day, as well as useful. I want to spend my time in a worthwhile way.  This includes resting in the silence of it all.  I always want to provide myself the space to acknowledge the expanse of the universe and what a small particle of it I am within it.  Appreciation for all the blessings and grace I’ve enjoyed is big too.  And, above all, Gratitude for this grace as I recover from my missteps along my Forever Path.

I am confident that my conscious efforts are supported.  I consider myself in a silent partnership with my Creator.  I exalt this.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

Connection…          ~Gaya

 

No question, I’m getting pretty comfy in my new place!  Porter knows our routine down to the minute, and I have found that my GRATITUDE keeps me grounded in astounding ways.

THOUGHT is great when it is constructive and innovative and creative and happy and motivating and intentional.  It is MY election to improve my surroundings…emotionally, physically and spiritually.

I recently completed painting the ceiling and walls in my living room and dining area!  This was a feat, but doable.  The outcome is amazing and such an improvement around here.  Next comes the kitchen, and other rooms too, as long as my energy and stamina and physical ability hold out!

What occurs to me this morning is that “accomplishment”  is also evident internally in my thoughts and emotions, as well as obviously in the visual, and it all has to do with my wellbeing. When I’m thinking  I’m already in the creative process as ideas begin to swirl, and these ideas are all about making ME happier!  It’s not about what I’m lacking or any dissatisfaction, it’s about how can I get a greater shine to my life and my surroundings…a continuous polishing to my whole existence while I’m alive!

Now I’m referring to ATTITUDE. It’s about helping myself!  It’s about my own proactivity  which spurs me on providing the constant link to the Ease and Grace in my life. I think I maintain an overview of my surroundings and my physical wellbeing  which ‘lubricates my life machine’, if you will. For a fact, if I don’t do it, who/what will?

I follow my GPS when I’m driving to an unfamiliar area, and I guess I use my GTA when I’m navigating my own life.

And, not to forget your ESP!  ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

I’ve now come to the conclusion that living life is the accomplishment of life itself!

Was it Laurel and Hardy who said, “Now that’s another mess you got me into”?  Looking at my life like this, boy I got myself out of lots of messes!  Now that was accomplishment too!  Coming through the tunnels of pain and grief and sorrow, self-hate, forgiving another (beginning with forgiving myself)…huge accomplishments! Falling down, and getting up more; keeping Faith and Love and Compassion and Kindness in my beingness after I felt I had been denied it;  finding an optimistic viewpoint, no matter what seemed to be existing to the contrary as I continued on my Forever Path – these were all unsung accomplishments as I continued to live my life.

Ah, yes, perspective:  as I produce a different thought I receive a different feeling which then produces another reality for me to consider.

Recently, I’ve been viewing my life in terms of dreams being fulfilled.  These were conscious dreams. These dreams were filled with wishes and hopes and ‘ifs’.  I wanted them enough to keep them alive, and this is important. But what about all the other positive results and happenstances of my life which I wasn’t ‘conscious’ of?  What about the Blessings I have received throughout my lifetime which involved Grace?  

There is no need to bolster myself up and make claim to what all I think I’ve done in my lifetime.  It matters not to the world at large.  It’s the intrigue about it…that it has happened, in spite of everything else that has happened. I am a hero to myself, that’s all there is to it.

It’s GRATITUDE that fills me with humility right now. I’ve been doing what I came here to do for 84+ years, and I will continue to do just that!  It’s nothing to brag about, but it is something to respect and remind myself that whatever I have done has come through me, and then I gave it form.  This is what I do.  I conceive an idea, grab onto it if it resonates with me, and then I make choices which give my ideas form.  Again, it comes through Blessings and Grace and to realize this sets my EGO on its heels!

How often have I said, ‘there but for the Grace of God go I’?  Why would I  find it necessary to use the misfortune of another to compare my own situation so I can feel better!!

I have found another level of awareness…another shift in my perspective… Peace and Calm… I love myself more right now. I love you more right now. WE all are LIFE, not to be compared…we are unique unto ourselves.  

Living is what Life is About…It is Everything.    ~Gaya

I’m comfortable where I am.  I’m closer to nature than I have been in years. I can feel that I am going with the flow of my life. I’m meeting people who fit right into ‘my way’.  People around me show me they like my company.  I feel the generosity of others in many different ways, i.e., from a freely offered gesture to be of more help, to actual gifts of sincere budding friendship. I feel my Peace.  I feel my Gratitude.  I feel I belong.  I am happy.  I have joy in my heart.  I’m starting to deeply understand “what is” and it is becoming easier to ‘let it be’. I think there is a ‘Peace of God which passeth all understanding’ and an acceptance of that silent personal Power. I understand the dynamic of making myself happy through visionary accomplishment and achievement and self-fulfillment.

Tomorrow is New Years Eve Day and I’m mindful how I want to revere this particular time of my life.  I have started a new life.  The few constants in my life remain:  My Spiritual Practice, my belongings, my friends, my son and my activities on the internet. I am not a stranger…I feel my connection…my Presence.  My surroundings welcome me too. Each morning I await with anticipation what is presented to me.  I feel my Blessings.  I’m aware I am Blessing my surroundings as well, in particular, I am giving my new home so much loving care.  I am Careful, i.e., full of care for myself and whatever/whomever I encounter.  It feels like I am within a ‘networking circle’.  Information comes to me as I share my needs and interests, and this can be through my thoughts and aspirations as well as verbally.  I believe this is the Universe, God, Creator, whatever you call it, providing what I need.

  • Matthew 10:29-31 Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.
  • I feel complete and competent. I feel uplifted emotionally and spiritually. Little did I know 4-5 years ago when I bought a warm jacket that it’s perfect for this chillier Winter climate!  Unwittingly, I came prepared to this new state and home!

I am building my Faith, it’s inevitable.  LIFE is such a gift. What’s around us is such a gift. Those we meet are such a gift. Every experience we have is such a gift.

“Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

All is meant to be.    ~Gaya

Happy New Years yet to come to All. Stay Well, Be Safe.  Blessed Be to All.

 

 

These days, I’m going for peace, and serenity and equanimity.  One might think this is easy, but it really isn’t!

I live alone and am left to my own devices.  I can choose not to turn on the TV or radio.  I don’t have to say a word to anyone…I can go about my business and shun the world if I wish.  BUT, this isn’t the kind of peace I’m speaking about.  I want peace within the world in which I live.

Peace of mind requires an overall viewpoint of acceptance.  It requires generous thinking…it is living a life of allowance. Of course, dealing with responsibilities in life creates a certain amount of effort, it requires me to change what is.  It requires me to think about what I can do to pre-empt chaos.  This is as simple as changing the oil in my car to avoid engine trouble, for example.  It’s the same thing when it comes to people.  My demeanor dictates  my surroundings.  I am free to do and say that which maintains the space around me. I try to put the best construction on everything without judgment.  If peace is foremost on my mind, then I don’t want to ruffle the waters. I want smooth sailing… I don’t have to go anywhere near the water.

We say, we are in the world, not of  the world.  I can be a contributor to this world I’m in, beginning at my own doorstep.  Peace and calm is a construct of holding oneself in composure.  It’s a posture. It can’t be achieved in arrogance.  In fact, if it is not authentic, it deflates and causes chaos within my mind!

Peace is not achieved easily…it takes time and practice and knowing myself.  It is almost a skill.  I’ve found everything and everyone around me are my ‘peace testers’.  Funny, isn’t it!?  As long as I am given to ‘triggers’ or any kind of dissatisfaction, I am totally aware I always have work to do.  I love this position.  It keeps me humble at the same time I am in such earnest in achieving my intent.

It’s keeping the thoughts at bay.   I say to myself, “New thought, or No thought!”  This works for me.  It tones down the noise in my head which the Ego wants me to tolerate and keep me confused and in unrest.  Isn’t it wonderful we have the capacity to overrule, or override our minds.  We have great personal power.  When we come from the heart, this power exceeds all.  It’s clean and loving and totally well-intended.  What’s outside does not have to enter inside.  We have the keys to that doorway.

There is a Peace of God.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.  Stay safe.  Be Well.

Have Faith in your connection to that which created you.  This connection

leads and supports you on your Forever Path.  ~  Gaya

 

We see what we see…why can’t we leave it at that?!

When we go to the woods, we expect to see trees, lots of them, different varieties perhaps, along with other plantings like ferns and moss and maybe a variety of vines. A forest is a forest. What we watch out for is poison ivy or poison oak!

If we suffer from allergies,  we know exactly what to do to fend off the symptoms of our pollen or food reactions.

If we’re not a good swimmer, we stay out of the deep waters.

When we’re growing a garden, we know we have to water and fertilize it to realize a good crop, and when we have pets, we know we need to look after their food and shelter and health needs.

We’re born into a world of people, and as infants we don’t differentiate.  People are people. They laugh, and cry, and shout.  They can be tender or rough.  We soon find out some people are easier to be around.  We recognize kindness and compassion, and we know when we are ignored.  We know when we are welcomed into a room and when we are shunned.  Very early on we seem to learn what is expected of us!   We learn there is a demand that we must please someone else…for our own sake!  We learn by our own experience when we make a friend and lose one.  We learn trust and mistrust.  We learn fair-mindedness and ruthlessness.  We think we have to belong, and we learn how to play that game, and at this precise time, we realize we are compromising our integrity, our  beingness, our own authenticity, and the question then comes, WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE! WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE?!!

When does the line get fuzzy when it comes to how we treat other people? When do we figure out that it is up to us  to trust ourselves when it comes to how we treat others? We have such good intuition when it comes to how we feel about others.  The Bible says treat others as we want to be treated.  How difficult is that?  The Bible doesn’t say “treat others who look like you” the same as you want to be treated!  (And just who looks like us anyway?  Some of us are fat, skinny, tall, short, Asian, African, Caucasian, Native American, crippled, blind, and the list goes on.)

Think of the restaurants we frequent.  We are extremely open-minded (because we are pleasing ourselves looking to satiate our appetite) when we choose ethnic foods.  We’re very polite when we order, and when we’re finished most often we are very gracious in thanking someone for the wonderful food.  We find no barriers then! AND THINK:  This is quite an intimate setting, considering we are trusting someone who is not of our own race to prepare our food!

Is this not hypocritical?

I guess what I’m trying to point out is that we have ‘selective bias, or racism’, and we exert it at will and probably it is when we feel threatened (whatever that means).  When we are ‘frequenting the world’, we are rubbing shoulders with other shoppers, tourists, diners, sports enthusiasts, hobbyists, animal lovers, etc., and we don’t give it another thought.  In these venues, we enjoy our commonality.

Well, then, can we finally realize that as human beings we have one commonality in the world, and it is that we are all human beings, trying to make it, get along in both good and difficult times, that we all have the same needs, i.e., food, shelter and clothing,  along with desires for educational opportunities, and personal livelihood pleasures, like owning a home, a bike, a car, if we want one., and we all have the same fears too.  What is it in some people who have  a need to drive someone down and hold them there?  Fear of competition?  Fear of equality?  Fear of loss?   I  happen to think it is a personal fear that they will be found out that they aren’t who they pretend to be!   And, who better to pick on but those who they don’t see as competition!!  This is nothing short of a bully attitude!

It seems human beings have to put everything to their own personal litmus test…which at best, is flawed.  Going back to the Bible, “He who has not sinned, cast out the first stone.” Now that’s a litmus test!

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.  Continue to Stay Safe and Well.

There is only one picture:  The Big Picture…Broad Vista…beautiful to behold.  ~Gaya

 

Oh Happy Day!  All is well with my world!  Whatever that has been lingering on my mind is gone!  My refund was direct deposited!  I’m not aware of a care about anything in this NOW moment!  I AM SO GRATEFUL! I am conscious of some of my many Blessings and when I receive Grace.  I am not the only one.  All have Blessings, All receive Grace.  I AM HUMBLED TO MY KNEES. (And footnote, grateful I can bend my knees!)

How can one have a spiritual practice and not feel humility all of the time?  I’ve been known to say that I had a golden thread to God…and this was never stated in a pompous manner.  Quite to the contrary.  I always felt this with such gratitude and humility.  When I feel my connection, that unequivocal, total unconditional loving and supportive connection to God, I also feel the power and I marvel that I, along with countless other human beings in the world, have a consciousness which comforts me like this: I am not special, I am not a member of an elite group of spiritualists.  In fact, the way I think about this is that anyone I meet could be representative of the Holy Commune of creation blessing me with their presence.  (Like the homeless man who I gave a lift to Good Will last week.)

I am not an untouchable…I am a touchable!  I am approachable.  I do not have to  associate with ‘certain people’ who understand me.  I’ve referred to a homeless man, David, who once prayed over me and brought me to tears.  His words were no less than those of Jesus, and I felt them.

One of my best friends and I have very different spiritual views; yet, when I am sometimes impatient with our differences, I am reminded instantly that this is one of the reasons why we are friends.  Our friendship transcends our spiritual differences. My humility reminds me I cannot begin to presume my precepts are the rule for her to follow…we each live out our lives as we came to do, each to our best ability and with the knowledge we have acquired.   This is love.  This is acceptance.  This is the art of allowing without an air of superiority.  THIS IS HUMILITY.

To paraphrase Ram Dass, a recently departed renown spiritualist, ‘there is a golden light of love in every heart, no matter how opaque the container of that heart may be.’

I can never have enough generosity of heart and humility of soul. These are my personal assurances to myself.

When you ask for help it is a humble request. Your spiritual pursuits

continuously authorize satisfaction of your curiosity.     ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.  Continue to Be Safe, Stay Well.

It’s interesting… this journey we’re on!  I was speaking to a longtime friend yesterday, and we both exclaimed it was hard to believe we were at the ages we are. ..she 74, I 83.

In my younger years, NEVER did I spend much time thinking on how old I would live to be, or for that matter, what goals did I have in terms of who I wanted to become, what I wanted to do, what path did I need to follow to reach my dreams and goals.

It seems to make more sense now to think about what have I learned?  How do I assess my life and the choices I have made?  Do I really  have any regrets?  Do I wish I could go back in time and have a ‘redo’?

I know I’m grateful that I have followed my journey with a continuous Faith in a Power Greater Than Me.   I know I am thankful that I never gave up on myself…no matter what was happening, no matter what choices I made.  In so doing, I gained a true trust of Self and my resiliency.

I have to work things out myself to clarity and understanding; I’ve come to accept that each effort I make toward this is admirable. I feel the spiritual connection, my Higher Self, my Soul Self, my Intuitive Consciousness.  It’s not about erasing or lamenting the past.  It’s about valuing it for what it has meant to me in my growth and conscious awareness.  What I may have thought were stumbling blocks were actually building blocks!  It’s about thanking God for the many people and events in my life which appeared at just the right moment.

I can pick that one book that started me on a course of independent learning and has served me well right up to now, AS A MAN THINKETH, by James Allen.  Then there was RISKING, by David Viscott, MD., the book that instilled in me courage to step out on the ledge after tallying the risk.  I learned it wasn’t that scary to try something I had never done before.  I also found out it wasn’t about failing or succeeding, but more about having the experience of attempting and living it in the intention.

Right up to this day, I continuously work on issues and triggers and bothersome, even painful,  circumstances with the same Faith that I will make it better…I will have more understanding and clarity…I will have more resolution.  That’s my optimism.

So, I hold on to what has continued to work, and I try very hard to let go of that which can bog me down and restrict me. It’s important to know that I have a commitment to  enjoying the privilege of living life the best way I know how and enjoying the whole process.  This is the growth and understanding and clarity I keep finding, and the Grace which follows when I reflect on just how great life has been.

We are the strength within you, we are your resiliency, your dreams,

your tenacity,  your curiosity, your love and appreciation for

your life and all it continuously offers.   ~  Gaya

 

 

 

I’m not going to wait to see what the ‘New Normal’ is going to be!  I’ve been configuring my ‘new normal’ for the past few years as I keep changing myself ‘UP’ and ‘FORWARD’ the best way I know how…and this continues to be with a lot of outside help!

Doesn’t it seem curious that Covid-19 had to present itself, before the world society as a whole had to go into crises mode and begin to take LIFE seriously?

Before this pandemic, we were caught up in the fires in Australia, and the drug pandemic and terrorism and school shootings, to say nothing of our own personal life tantrums, everyday lives, births and deaths which are always ongoing.

Years ago, I was told by a boss  he didn’t think I took life seriously.  This remained a quandary in my mind for years…I really didn’t know what he had meant.  I gave him tribute  in my first book:  “To the late ‘Odie’, who said to me, ‘Kaye, I don’t think you take yourself seriously!’.  I carried his words with me without full grasp for more than 30 years.  This wise man spoke to my future enlightenment and made his mark upon my Soul.  His message holds a remarkable place within me and he deserves this special tribute. I know he is aware.”

What is it about the human nature that is so peculiar to each of us when it comes to what ‘reaches’ us?  I know it isn’t the same for everyone.  It seems we have a stubbornness, or a bullish attitude, or some kind of inner stance that necessitates a ‘leg sweep’, bringing us to our own ‘bottom hit’, before something miraculous is able to happen…before we finally grab hold of a perceived threat and get serious within ourselves.  WHAT A SHAME IT HAS TO COME TO THAT!

It’s like we offer up continuous dares to God, Source Energy,the Universe, the Creator, as if our lives were  our own whimsical success story no matter what we did or didn’t do!

Fact!  I have to take even better care of myself.  I have to be even more aware of my surroundings.  I have to realize how imminently connected I am physically with everything and everyone around me at all times.  I have to think more outside the box when it comes to my personal safety.  I have to realize that unseen catastrophes can be averted when I am more mindful living in the NOW.

What I am suggesting to myself is that I need to live more carefully, less carelessly, with less assumption that things are the same more than they are different or changing. The World Is Changing All The Time.   I may not be able to keep up with all of the advances in science and technology and medicine, but I am able to continuously take better care of myself within the societal landscape of my own life.

A neighborhood acquaintance came to my door yesterday…apparently, in total disregard of our current ‘stay home if you don’t have to go out’ ground rules.  I was astonished.  It seemed he came for a social visit.  I immediately asked him to step back and keep his distance…I had no plans to invite him in.  People do strange things!

We’ve been told when we’re behind the wheel of a car, to be a defensive driver.  I think the time has come that we have to become a ‘defensive liver!’  We have to beware and stand ready to take action against thoughtless behaviors of others.  Socially, it seems we are inclined to give leeway to another, giving one the benefit of the doubt, but I think these days are now over.  Instead of being our brother’s/sister’s keeper, we have to be more mindful to make sure our brother/sister is more responsible, by virtue of our own responsibility to self.  We have to always be thinking in the name of the common good.  We cannot be permitting or allowing, in the face of worrying about hurting another’s feelings.  Time has come that we’ve been rapped on the head…or, I’ll say, I feel the rap on my own head…I’ve got to stand up in a different way for my welfare, my safety, my peace and my calm.  IT’S ABOUT BEING MATTER-OF-FACT ABOUT LIFE.

The Times, They Are A-changin’.  I will be more responsible for my place in this world, in my home, my neighborhood and how I view my life.  Life is indeed serious business…it always has been.  Nothing should be taken for granted.

It is good when one recognizes just how precious everything under creation is.   ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Well and Safe.