Truth to Self

God Grant Me the Serenity to Accept the Things I Cannot Change and Change the Things I Can…In ME!

June 11, 2019 / / Conscious Awareness, Faith and Trust, GAYA, Grace, Gratitude, Humility, Living in the NOW, Responsibility, Source Energy, Truth to Self

When I am in problem – especially repetitive problem – it is good to try to put into perspective why I choose to view my problems as such hindrance, as against such privilege for me to gain awareness.  It is all too easy to immediately point fingers outward at people or circumstances and make them the objects of  why my life has chaos in it. Of course, my reaction to everything is key, but as I sit in the silence right now writing this blog, I can’t circumvent the fact that if I choose to be affected by anything outside of me, I have chosen to be attached to it in some way.

At birth I was physically detached from my mother when the umbilical cord was severed.  Henceforth, I became emotionally attached, totally dependent upon her nurturing and physical sustenance.  In the process of maturing, I learned rules and social skills from everyone I was around.  School became the first introduction to existence within another social setting and exposed me to academia and socialization in preparation for my entrance into the world as an independent human being, presumably ready to care for myself and become successful in my own life.

Trial and error, tripping and falling and getting back up for another stab at succeeding became routine. Through the years this process became easier because I learned I was capable; I was resilient; I was Faithful and Hopeful that this process of living life was totally worth it;  I was Blessed to have met certain Earth Angels who guided me and loved me through some difficult times; circumstances offered me opportunities along the way too – some of which I grabbed onto and some I missed.

Through all this, what can I apply to continue on my Forever Path with more ease?  Today I sit in the silence and again realize I need to find the answers within me.  I need to clarify my perception of my position within the chaos.   As much as I certainly do need others around me – friends, colleagues, peers, and neighbors – I am essentially alone.  The chaos I am feeling, is none other than my attachment.

Life serves itself up to me every day!  I live in the NOW of my life the best I can.  Life is nothing more than continuous NOWS, which fleet into PASTS.  Attachment is in the mind and wreaks havoc!

I need to let everything and everyone BE and I need to unconditionally accept ALL as it IS.  This goes for  accepting ME too!  I am FREE to change my perceptions to suit my Joy, Happiness and Peace.  I must be KIND in the face of adversity…kind to others and to myself as well.  This is a GENEROUS act.  I am Grateful.

My saving Grace is my desire and willingness and courage to change the things I can…ME.

We are your support, your anchor, your wind in your sails. We become One in your Hope and Faith.   ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

             

The ‘Inside Explosions’ are the Absolute Best!!

November 20, 2018 / / Faith and Trust, GAYA, Life and Living, Manifesting our goals and dreams, Self-fulfillment, Truth to Self

Something fabulous happened this morning! I just had to tell a member of my Literary Team,  the one who formats  my books and designs my book covers.  Just Sayin’.

In my earlier years, I just had to tell everything to everyone in my world… friends and strangers alike.  It appeared I was bragging. What I was really doing was trying to bring myself UP from the lower place of lack of self-worth.

My small world never heard how scared I was while I was raising my sons.  NO!  Everyone saw  “Of course, I can do it…I chose it, I do it, I survive, I’m great, I can twirl all the plates and juggle all the balls without blinking an eye!”  You already know that got me seven years of acute anxiety shaking!

Now, I ‘explode’ to my “Insiders”…the small circle in my small world.

The only ones that know me anymore are in my inner circle.  I realize I have been leading myself UP to every Today, every Now, and it finally occurred to me this morning that I have to be ‘caught on the fly’…because living in the NOW doesn’t have a resting place.  I don’t sit down and take inventory anymore.  I live, I respond from my heart, I see the fantastic results and I register absolute gratitude for everything in my life.

The world at large doesn’t need to hear an explosion out of me anymore. My life unfolds now. I am my example. 

Kaye’s explosive nature clearly is recognizing internally, she is resolute and content with the way we are continuously unfolding her dreams and desires to perfection.   ~Gaya

Happy Thanksgiving!  My favorite holiday.  My heart is full of gratitude.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Perception…Reality! It’s all mine!!

October 19, 2018 / / Energy Connection, Faith and Trust, GAYA, I AM WHO I AM, Peace and Understanding, Self-Realization, Truth to Self

I will not allow my Joy to be snuffed by others’ actions! I will not allow my state of Beingness to be maligned by words from others’ mouths!  I am whole and complete…I am totally perfect at Essence, and I have been in the process of transformation since I became!

Yes, I am in perpetual  transformation, filtering information that comes to me through ‘intended sources’ which at perfect timing resonates with me, and I then begin to understand and integrate it into my whole SELF.

At 81+ years old, I am still at the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Slowly but surely I am melting into myself and I am seeing with more clarity.

Just what is it that stirs me..opening up my brain to see a little more of who I am?  Is it “Spirit” moving me?  Is it Source Energy…my Gaya…that finds a crevice to enter so I can see that bit more light that provides more answers?  I come to believe this day that I don’t have to name it! I just have to be aware that IT IS!  I believe because I feel the impact within,  I know I AM IN TOUCH WITH WHAT IS! 

I know there is much more and my unquenchable thirst thrusts me forward in my search…a Spiritual Addiction..meaningful only to me…slicing through me, letting all the air out of the balloon veils releasing and freeing me from the shackles of others’ dictates and judgments of who I am; my self-talk that restricts me from accepting I am made in the likeness of God, Source Energy, My Creator, The Universe...ALL THAT IS! 

Somehow, it  now seems so simple to be able to entertain this as truth, instead of holding on to all the other stuff that is negative and hurtful to me…which my EGO would have me do.  Yes, it is the EGO endlessly trying to devalue and foil me…it is EGO-PURPOSE.

I will be more conscious to enforce and reinforce my Essential Goodness.  My transformation will continue as I remind myself of my Spiritual Composition:  Love and Light.

It is in the awareness that transformation takes place.  There is a countenance of  internal understanding that pervades  and rests easy inside you, Kaye.  You have found, yet again, another piece of your ‘knowledge puzzle’.           ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

Think a little here…Think a little there…SEE A LOT!

October 10, 2018 / / GAYA, Life and Living, Living in the NOW, Peace and Understanding, Self-Realization, Truth to Self

Today I am coming face forward to something that I admit to myself I started as a seed thought well over a year ago!

What am I saying?  I’m trying to explain that I am witnessing the dynamic of just how the mind creates what it wants to see…and as long as that initial seed thought is there and germinating, the ‘workings from Source Energy’ are continuing toward the manifestation of this thought.

I can’t explain why I originated that seed thought…and believe me, I am honest with myself that I did, indeed, originate it!  It must be something from another life, is all I think it could be.  After all, when something or someone appears in our life…something or someone I have never known before in this life…there is a ‘lesson’ that is presenting to me.  Yes, a lesson is coming,  and I already know, it is my own integrity and honor and depth of character that is being tested.  I WILL MAKE IT!!!

No, Kaye, this is not from another life.  This is Your Essence bringing an experience to work through yet another lesson which needs to be dealt with, once and for all.  It is You, Kaye,  who has the propensity  either to ‘fall short’…or, as you say, “I will make it!!!”  You are acting out your own movie within the movie of this life and as We see, You are working through it successfully.   ~   Gaya

What a wonderment this blog has turned out to be for me!  I am the one who sits on my own shoulder monitoring carefully what goes on with me!  Call it Conscience or Wisdom or Character or Integrity or Honor or Truth to Self.  Yes, it’s Truth to Self.  

Little did I know when I began this journey of transformation  July 4, 2015, when Liferays.net was originated, what was in store for me.  Thankfully, I  have tried to come from my heart and in honesty the best I know how.  

Living in the NOW requires mindfulness and sincerity of purpose.  I have known this all along.  To be mindful means I have had to slow down…observe, not only my thoughts, but also that which presents to me.  Today’s awareness is an Acme of personal awareness.  It’s like I’m extinguishing a part of me…it’s letting go of something that I have been capable of doing which has never served me well.   As I write these very words, I feel extremely powerful in saying NO!  I WILL NOT GO DOWN THIS ROAD  AGAIN!  

I realize this may read as an unsolved mystery, but believe me, Another of My Mysteries Has Been Solved!  Another mask has been pulled off!   HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

Questions, Answers, and The Truth of it….As I Understand It.

October 2, 2018 / / GAYA, Grace, Gratitude, Honoring Intention, Manifesting our goals and dreams, Truth to Self

 

When I give my word, I want it to mean something.  Until this morning, I figured I wanted it to mean something to someone else.  When I make an appointment time, I’ll be there on time, or a bit before; when I say I’ll call you back, I’ll do so; when I say I’m here for you,   I WILL, I AM.  It’s important to me that I be a reliable person to another person.  I know this is part of my ‘integrity puzzle piece’.

This morning, it comes to me VERY LOUDLY,  do I care as much about keeping my word to myself?  On the surface, this seems like such a simple question/answer.  BUT, the picture I have in my mind’s eye has a much more far-reaching scope.

My word ties to my thoughts…My word has a subliminal message that is meaningful only to me…that is, if I want to dig a little for it.  My  ‘word’ actually has placed me at any given time in the setting of a day, week, month, or year(s) of my life.  My ‘word’ as it relates to self-talk, is the truth to myself…my opinion about myself, unless I am careful NOT to believe me!

She’s talking about the ‘unspoken word’.  The thoughts she knows she has had all of her life, her deep down thinking that she now knows confiscated her life for the time she bowed to mistakes in her assumptions about situations, and people.  The times she thoughtlessly participated in activities that were not in her best interests nor to her greatest good.  She is  resurrecting and excavating again to her authenticity how she could misguide herself by her lack of awareness that thoughts have cemented her to the result, as surely as the verbal words of intention, as she knows now  create her life every step of the way.                                                        ~  Gaya

It is important for me to ask the important questions to myself, and even more importantly, make sure I am giving myself the accurate answers.  I am my own parent and always have been, after I reached the age of majority and began to give myself permission.  I don’t want to trip any more than necessary; I want to be able to fully rely upon myself with clear intention.  

I guess when I look back, there really aren’t any surprises as to where I was at any given time…I was following my subtle dictates and desires and whims, without thinking twice as to the wisdom of my actions.  It’s again another Freedom of the Choices that I recognize now I will make with  more attention and clarity of mind toward my REAL INTENTION TO MY LIFE.

There really doesn’t have to be a ‘flip side’ to life, if I steadfastly hold onto the helm of my ship!  My internal compass knows exactly where I want to be headed.  No more unspoken words to myself!  I am capable of giving myself straightforward responses to my straightforward questions.  Straightforward from the heart receives straightforward from Source Energy, My Gaya.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

EGO DOWNWARD! SELF-WORTH UPWARD AND ONWARD.

September 20, 2018 / / Energy Connection, GAYA, Gratitude, Honoring Intention, It's all in the Energy, Life and Living, Truth to Self

I can’t speak for others, but as much as I’d like to be able to claim, “……Frankly, My Dear, I Don’t Give A Damn!”, I’d be lying if I said this was true!  I don’t want to be affected by others’  less than complimentary  or dismissive actions toward me but, admittedly, I have allowed myself to be affected.

I live  in the ‘in-life’ and  online worlds, and either way, as much as I strive to do my best, and hope others see it…and as much as I continue to gain self-confidence and self-worth and value, and self-fulfillment, knowing full well that all of my strength of self comes from WITHIN.…I accept I will always be fighting the Good Fight of Faith, so to speak, toward  FEELING  the TRUTH:  It is ONLY MY approval and respect and acceptance and complete love of myself that counts!

I am in the process of dissecting a dynamic within myself where I CHOOSE and PICK certain people whose attention or opinions ABOUT ME MATTER MORE THAN PRESUMABLY MY OWN!  I know this is quite a public admission!

Here she goes again, writing out loud…she’s  getting to the nitty-gritty now and we’re so very proud of her!  No question, she has been hearing us, and she is letting us show her that nothing will ever be [as she has expressed in the past] her “Kodiak Bear”!  We admire how she keeps clearing her Forever Pathway of Life.                          ~Gaya

Fact:  Everyone whom I know is a human being.  Everyone is endowed with the same feelings.  Everyone has achieved so much in their lifetime and they are capable of achieving much more if they’d care to.  Everyone has frailties and fears which they never express to others.  Everyone is Blessed by virtue of their Creation.    Everyone hits their finger with the hammer.  Everyone cries alone sometimes and doesn’t share their grief.  Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are – Sometimes they are and sometimes they are not.  Everyone has been insulted and scorned in public at one time or another. Everyone feels they are not good enough from time-to-time and they try to hide it.  Everyone has risen from the ashes of their lives again and again.

EVERYONE deserves No More  honor or respect or love FROM Me than I GIVE TO MYSELF!

All the more reason to take a fresh look in the mirror and give myself a warm welcome into a renewed enjoyment of the privilege of living my life, and begin to honor myself  MORE FULLY.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

THIS IS [MY] LIFE FOR YA’!

September 16, 2018 / / Consistency and Consideration, Honoring Intention, It's all in the Energy, Life and Living, Living in the NOW, Peace and Understanding, Self-fulfillment, Self-Realization, Truth to Self

I love my introspection, my considerations and my resilience!  I love my tenacity, my good intentions, my ability to objectively  criticize myself without bringing me to my knees of low self-worth.  I love it when finally I don’t have my first knee-jerk reaction of defensiveness; that I can listen, evaluate, and give myself time to assess a situation.  It’s the Peace in it that allows me to move ahead, with a much clearer head! 

Isn’t it interesting that she is now able to write out loud , as she has already been thinking out loud?  It is good she is feeling so comfortable with herself knowing she is opening the gates of Connection to her Source even wider.          ~Gaya

The first descriptive word I used above is Introspection.  I am finding when I have no anxiety or rush to anything,  I am able to just ‘sit with something’ while I figure out the wrinkle I want to iron out.  The ‘answers’ reveal themselves for Consideration.  

In the past, and  up to relatively recently,  I always created an urgency to get to the bottom of something…seeking closure.  It was like I forced myself to wrap it up ..get it out of my thoughts…and move on.   My marriages and divorces are good examples here.  In retrospect, I think this is what created even more chaos in my life! Nothing is so urgent, except if  a person needs to get to the hospital for immediate medical care!

I am much easier on myself these days (and years). I like the feeling of moseying along, picking up on my own innuendos  – taking to heart what presents and how I am triggered by it.  Still, there’s no need for urgency, just an indicator that I know I want to make a change, or  tweak something I’m doing with my Life.  I think life is simple if I keep it simple.  It is as simple as that! 

It is good to take on new experiences just for the sake of that experience.  The only commitment necessary is to honor the intention of taking on that experience.  EGO can destroy good intention.

The expression, “Take your good old-fashioned time” makes better sense to me now more than ever before.  What’s the rush to most things…there’s no fire!

I am always finding My Way Along My Forever Path. 

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

 

Whither Thou Goest, I Will Go….Whither Thou Leadest, I Will Follow You.

September 10, 2018 / / Energy Connection, Faith and Trust, GAYA, I AM WHO I AM, Living in the NOW, Peace and Understanding, Self-fulfillment, Truth to Self

And  so it happens…I am led to open up my blog and begin!  I am already led and I am following.

Awareness is so interesting.  It is a feeling, it is a knowing, and it is such an ‘insider thing’.  It is not something I can easily share with anyone because it relies upon intimacy, and laying myself out so vulnerable.  It is sharing a piece of me that is so deep within, I can hardly give it definition, but it is worth this try.

Years ago, I coined a phrase:  Everything is as Unimportant as it is Important.  Now and then this comes into my thinking…like today…and the truth of it rings much louder.  It is almost deafening.

As I continue to learn how to live in the NOW,  I am getting better at dropping off  ‘stuff’ which has absolutely no place in the NOW.   I’m becoming more keen about where I want to be emotionally, i.e.,  Happy with Myself, Joyful about my Life.   The essence of my Character is looming very relevant.  I don’t have to prove anything to myself or anyone else anymore.  Now is the time for me to mine the gold that is ME beneath the layers and masks while I continue to peel away.

I have come to love the word Release!  There is a feeling of  Willingness that accompanies it…as in releasing a bird to flight, letting go of the string to a balloon, sending a child off on their own, riding a two-wheeler for the first time.

Finally, I think I can jump off the high-wire of life that has held me back from really enjoying the simplest of things while enjoying the privilege of living my life.  

Speaking only for myself, of course, being a hip-shooter is pretty exciting… I switched up life whenever I thought I was bored, or needed some action!   I realize now that it is  the other side of the same coin of being ‘on stage’... I wasn’t good enough, unless I ‘performed for an audience’…I couldn’t just be myself!  I don’t care how I came to be this way, but I do care that this is NOT WHO I AM! 

This current observation isn’t a night-and-day  “ah ha” moment for me. It is, however, an affirmation that I have been on the right track for quite a while now, and  my onion peeling has been totally worthwhile and will continue to be so.

Getting back to the Awareness of it all….Life is becoming pretty darned comfortable.

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 We are never away.  You have come with us, as we have come with you.       ~Gaya

 

 

 

 

Listening is Indeed an [He]Artful Action.

August 29, 2018 / / Energy Connection, GAYA, I AM WHO I AM, It's all in the Energy, Peace and Understanding, Truth to Self

I’ve mentioned before that I  often talk out loud to myself.  I’ve mostly laughed it off,  explaining it’s because I live alone, and aside from acknowledging my animals from time-to-time, it’s pretty quiet in my house.  My TV has been turned off for some time now, so I don’t have that ‘white noise’ either.  Top this off with the fact I routinely get up early every day…like 3:00 A.M. …So,  believe me, it’s really quiet around here then!

Yesterday, I was out of sorts.  This is very unusual for me.  I most always have a good attitude, even if I happen to be wrestling with some event occurring in my day-to-day which requires my attention.  I’ll call it a ‘mood’.  I felt like a huge black cloud was hovering over me, and it was weighted!   Of course, I know there’s something going on with me, and it’s much different than most days, and it throws me for a full loop!

It’s overt onion-peeling time once again.  Get underneath this, Kaye, dive deep within where there’s something else which needs to be brought to the surface!

So, you’re human after all!   No matter how happy you are on a day-to-day, you can still be tripped…or, should I say, you can still trip up yourself?  What have you told yourself as one of your truths before?  Ego is the devil…and I know when I feel unsure of myself, or in any other way unsteady, it is the Ego undermining me!

“You are a good person, Kaye.  You mean very well.  You try so very hard as you walk your journey into your light.  Never lose sight of your willingness to keep on going, to keep on learning more and more.  Continue to treasure your sound Faith and Happiness and Joy which you have attained because you are learning the keys that open these doors…And, above all, you can trust yourself, just as you say…you know yourself, you always will know what to do if you continue to come from your honest heart.”   ~  Gaya

Until I find differently, I am going to listen to what I say to myself out loud…these are my conversations with Gaya.  These are affirmations of my connection to that which continues to light my Forever Pathway toward continued Peace and Joy.

Blessed Be. To All Be Blessed.

 

 

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