Self-Realization

I’m not going to wait to see what the ‘New Normal’ is going to be!  I’ve been configuring my ‘new normal’ for the past few years as I keep changing myself ‘UP’ and ‘FORWARD’ the best way I know how…and this continues to be with a lot of outside help!

Doesn’t it seem curious that Covid-19 had to present itself, before the world society as a whole had to go into crises mode and begin to take LIFE seriously?

Before this pandemic, we were caught up in the fires in Australia, and the drug pandemic and terrorism and school shootings, to say nothing of our own personal life tantrums, everyday lives, births and deaths which are always ongoing.

Years ago, I was told by a boss  he didn’t think I took life seriously.  This remained a quandary in my mind for years…I really didn’t know what he had meant.  I gave him tribute  in my first book:  “To the late ‘Odie’, who said to me, ‘Kaye, I don’t think you take yourself seriously!’.  I carried his words with me without full grasp for more than 30 years.  This wise man spoke to my future enlightenment and made his mark upon my Soul.  His message holds a remarkable place within me and he deserves this special tribute. I know he is aware.”

What is it about the human nature that is so peculiar to each of us when it comes to what ‘reaches’ us?  I know it isn’t the same for everyone.  It seems we have a stubbornness, or a bullish attitude, or some kind of inner stance that necessitates a ‘leg sweep’, bringing us to our own ‘bottom hit’, before something miraculous is able to happen…before we finally grab hold of a perceived threat and get serious within ourselves.  WHAT A SHAME IT HAS TO COME TO THAT!

It’s like we offer up continuous dares to God, Source Energy,the Universe, the Creator, as if our lives were  our own whimsical success story no matter what we did or didn’t do!

Fact!  I have to take even better care of myself.  I have to be even more aware of my surroundings.  I have to realize how imminently connected I am physically with everything and everyone around me at all times.  I have to think more outside the box when it comes to my personal safety.  I have to realize that unseen catastrophes can be averted when I am more mindful living in the NOW.

What I am suggesting to myself is that I need to live more carefully, less carelessly, with less assumption that things are the same more than they are different or changing. The World Is Changing All The Time.   I may not be able to keep up with all of the advances in science and technology and medicine, but I am able to continuously take better care of myself within the societal landscape of my own life.

A neighborhood acquaintance came to my door yesterday…apparently, in total disregard of our current ‘stay home if you don’t have to go out’ ground rules.  I was astonished.  It seemed he came for a social visit.  I immediately asked him to step back and keep his distance…I had no plans to invite him in.  People do strange things!

We’ve been told when we’re behind the wheel of a car, to be a defensive driver.  I think the time has come that we have to become a ‘defensive liver!’  We have to beware and stand ready to take action against thoughtless behaviors of others.  Socially, it seems we are inclined to give leeway to another, giving one the benefit of the doubt, but I think these days are now over.  Instead of being our brother’s/sister’s keeper, we have to be more mindful to make sure our brother/sister is more responsible, by virtue of our own responsibility to self.  We have to always be thinking in the name of the common good.  We cannot be permitting or allowing, in the face of worrying about hurting another’s feelings.  Time has come that we’ve been rapped on the head…or, I’ll say, I feel the rap on my own head…I’ve got to stand up in a different way for my welfare, my safety, my peace and my calm.  IT’S ABOUT BEING MATTER-OF-FACT ABOUT LIFE.

The Times, They Are A-changin’.  I will be more responsible for my place in this world, in my home, my neighborhood and how I view my life.  Life is indeed serious business…it always has been.  Nothing should be taken for granted.

It is good when one recognizes just how precious everything under creation is.   ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Well and Safe.

 

I am a Wonder of the World.  We all are!

I’ve stated that I think it is good to take our own inventory.  Somehow, this suggests looking at our flaws and frailties so we can get in touch with how we judge others so harshly, which has no place in love.

I come to think now that taking my own inventory ought to be in a loving and kindly way.  Pulling out my goodness and my divinity.  Holding my head up high and proclaiming how special I Am.  Reminding myself that I’ve spent these 82+ years polishing myself up, learning so many lessons, softening my heart, and marveling in the revelation that I am a  spiritual being living in a human existence inextricably connected to, and  unconditionally loved and supported by, God, Source, Universe, Creator, since I became.

I realize I am more than a body and personality and I am stretching my limits and expanding my understanding of Higher Consciousness and Intuitive Wisdom toward more awareness and enlightenment.

I continue to rip off masks of self-deception, and thrill to newfound freedom of spirit.  It’s becoming so much easier to admit “I’ve been wrong”, “I’m trying to understand you”, “I’m listening and I’m interested in what you have to say”, “I care about you”, and above all, “I’ll take that risk!”  in Faith, to enlighten my path.

There are many times my intuition nudges me and I might not be alert enough to follow the needle on my life compass. I can no longer ignore the interconnection of everything.  Why?  Because it starts with me, and how I think; where I place my attention and intention.  I am not separate and apart from anything.  I float in the same stream with the wafting leaf.  I hear and see, as All hear and see me.  We speak the same language:  I AM HERE TOO. WE ARE ALL HERE TOGETHER. WE KNOW THINGS. I ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR PRESENCE. LET US RESPECT EACH OTHER.

Life is a trial-and-error, live-and-learn proposition. Nothing goes unnoticed by Everything that IS.

Blessed Be… To All Be Blessed.  From My Heart to Your Heart.

Kaye continues to tell her story…we enjoy her expression and resolve, as does she.    ~Gaya

I AM more than a body and a personality!  I AM a spiritual being living in a human condition, inextricably connected to, and loved and supported unconditionally by, God, Universe, Source, Creator, since I became.

It has been in this 82nd year of my life that I’ve come to know and believe with understanding the above statement….and Oh, What a Mind-Blowing Comfort It Is!

“Living” in the spiritual sense, is not personal at all.  My Essence, the Soul, the Higher Consciousness, my Higher Self,  my Intuitive Wisdom, is IT!  There is no judgment..there is “the interactive passage of energy between us”, the descriptive definition I first gave to this blog, Liferays.net, almost five years ago…but I didn’t fully understand this when I did it!

“Living” in the human sense, however, is very personal I have thoughts, my attention and intention, which become choices and actions which create my world. This is my personal power and my Higher Self is in constant communication with me, offering information and  awareness and enlightenment to the degree which I can understand it.

My heart is in direct communication with my Essence and these huge forces of nature have continuously supported my human existence toward one end:  To realize my true self.

I realize now that life is  serious personal business.  It is absolutely important that I concentrate on my human connection to my spiritual essence so I can relieve myself of all worry, anger and fear.  There is a Divine Mind in the spiritual plane which I can choose to think about.  This Divine Mind is part of me, and it is up to me to become a part of IT.

How do I go about bringing myself closer to that which created me?  I think it begins with Gratitude and  an acknowledgment of the myriad Blessings which come from a bottomless urn. This way of thinking is a state of being…it comes directly from my heart.  It feels holy.  As I continue to practice this, trying to make the connection, I get glimpses of how superficial and limiting the human existence really is.  All the labels and judgments and programming of  the mind are so inhibiting and restrictive, so fraudulent and withholding.

I become a small-minded person, and I am so far away from my spiritual essence, when I put such emphasis on the worldly things.  Take “Love” for instance.  It is an overview,  not a performance. I see it as an understanding of  ‘live and let live’ joined with the compassion of “How can I help you?”.

I am committing to devoting just one hour a week toward thinking on connecting with the Divine Mind.  Through a Wayne Dyer course I have been introduced to new reading and this will further my attention and intention to this end.  The Impersonal Self,  and The Life and Teachings of the Masters of the Far East (6 vols.).

My spiritual practice is important to me.  I already am realizing the benefits from my conscious endeavor.  In my mind’s eye, I’m a member of a spiritual team which will continue to infinitely love and support me unconditionally.  This is a Powerful Presence.

Each new Awareness presents a New Beginning.   ~Gaya

 

 

Imagine this:  no cravings, no wishes, no criticisms, no dissatisfaction, no despair, no self-deprecation, no regrets, no guilt, no shame or loathe of self, no anger, no discontent whatsoever.   NOW IMAGINE THIS:  just gratitude for all in your life in this moment.  Sit with this thinking just for a bit and FEEL THE INTENSITY of what to me feels like a spacial experience.

Suddenly I have removed myself from the mundane hustle-bustle of the world in another way.  It is so profound to experience the relief of feeling gratitude for my presence in this world.  I feel more generous in my thinking, I’m more aware of such beauty in the remarkable creation as a whole…the amazing place I fit into this global/spacial intricacy of Life.  To feel so entirely content and remarkably  humble as I acknowledge the expansiveness of gratitude….what a huge word it is.  The feeling of gratitude expands my heart and brings tears to my eyes.  I am powerless to the effects it has on me.  It is like I have been picked up by the giant hand of Source and placed on a cloud of understanding.

In the face of gratitude, how can one ever consider complaining or uttering dissatisfaction about anything again?  How can one be ungrateful for all  blessings, most of which are unknown?  How can one assume the posture of arrogance?  What could one be arrogant about, considering the Grace one has been afforded notwithstanding personal actions which may have been unbecoming  of a Blessed Person?

Now is my time to get in touch with what I really am…this spiritual being in a human condition.  When I am in gratitude, I am closer to my Essence.  I am in appreciation for WHAT IS and more in tune with what I have chosen in my awareness.  What a grand feeling consumes me.

Mr. Rogers was right:  “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.”

The music is playing…Let’s Dance!         ~  Gaya

 

Peace, Tranquility, Equanimity, Silence, Serenity, Unflappable,  Oneness, Wholeness, Connection.  Beyond… way beyond….the Observer,  disallowing any interference.

These were the sensations I was feeling this morning during my meditation experience.  Amazing…Absolutely Amazing.  Let me tell you folks, it’s worth the wait!  It has been my intention to Practice my Spirituality.  In so doing, meditation has become a part of this practice, and I’d be the first to express it hasn’t been easy!  I’ve enlisted the aid of Deepak Chopra, Ram Dass, Echart Tolle… all of whom graciously offer their own experience selflessly.  I listen to podcasts on the subject of meditation, I join free seminars. I’m in a 21-day meditation experience with Deepak and Oprah right now.  Thankfully, I believed their promises that I would be the better for the experience…that my life would be enhanced and my awareness would increase…all toward learning the purpose of why I am here in the first place.

As I listened to Deepak’s words this morning, already in my meditation position, eyes closed, hands folded, I readied myself as usual.  When the time came to ‘begin’, I began to resonate with “I am unbounded changeless self”.   I then began to open up to being changeless and whole, and it slowly made sense that whatever was around me all of the time is that of perpetual change, and subject to all kinds of outside interference and as a human being, I respond and react to what comes to me…Yet…I then saw an aquarium in my mind’s eye, and clearly, the water beneath the surface was still…not moving, not changing…even though the surface was choppy and wavy! 

I am totally grateful for this glimmer-awareness of my Essence…my unflappable Spirit.  The power and strength of this Spirit is unmistakable.  It is that which has kept me from drowning in the choppy waters!

Blessed Be my reassurance that beneath whatever upsets or dishevels me is this Spirit of  Wholeness of Being, which cannot be changed…”a bulwark never ceasing.”

Living life is never in vain.  We provide the stairs and railings, and we ascend as One.   ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

 

I have provided pretty good company for myself all these many years.  I guess living alone means different things to different people.  When parents experience the ’empty nest’ syndrome when children leave home for college or marriage, or whatever else, ofttimes they suffer this ‘loss’ for a time.  I don’t recall feeling this way, but I do feel the ‘loss’ when I have had house guests and when they leave, I experience a letdown which I combat by stripping the bed linens and bringing my house back to ‘my order of things’.  Tomorrow I’m going to be doing just this when my Sister in Heart returns to her home in Spain.  My son left this morning after a near-eight-week-stay…longest I can ever remember.

I’m in my silence now until I retrieve my ‘Sister’  this afternoon from her return off a jaunt she took while here.  We have this evening left together.

I feel it!  There is no undertone of company, except the dog and cat.  There are no echoes of loneliness either. The beginning of the memories are lodged and will fulfill themselves when I kiss my Sister goodbye tomorrow. This is all I know in this NOW.

I was encouraged by a guided meditation of Deepak Chopra this morning:  “Every day my Being seeks new ways to expand.”  This is exactly what I have been feeling.  I guess this is how I keep my good company with myself too.  Gaya, my non-physical friends, and I are in cahoots!  I am provided the fodder for my activities which in turn nurtures me, fulfills me, encourages and supports me, inspires me, loves me, and helps me to keep on keeping on.  Coincidentally, I can only do this alone and unassisted. In this awareness, I am being guided by this loving presence…my Source, my Guidance System…which is focused on me and, of course, on all others.  This awareness is the catalyst to my connection – my immersion with ALL.  There are no limits or boundaries.

In conclusion, I have been renewed in spirit by my son’s presence, and I have been filled and fulfilled by my Sister’s loving visit.  What wonderful blessings have been bestowed upon me.

Kaye’s intention supported this experience.  

Her consciousness of our forever-presence

perpetuates the flow of her joy, happiness and peace.   ~Gaya

 

 

 

There’s nothing like dusting off and shining up a glass-topped table!  It comes to me that this is not unlike clarifying my thoughts or experiences as I continue to pick up some pieces of my long life and drop off as many others as I can, fully knowing they don’t serve me anymore.

I work with wanting as much Peace in my life as possible, and to get this Peace, I must travel the same roads that caused the chaos and dis-ease within me.  I’ve had to acknowledge that my reactions to the myriad series of events in my life are exactly the driving force which bring about outcomes and these outcomes remain ‘alive and in play’ as I move along my Forever Path.

Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty here!!!  If I’m in a happy state, I have no resistance to Happiness…I am essentially at Peace and I like what goes on within me and around me as well.   However, when I decide/judge or predict some negative conditions are looming, I stiffen up and ‘prepare’ for the onslaught of what I alone have predetermined to be adversarial to me!   The War Is On!

All the more reason to be mindful of letting life BE  and be very mindful of keeping myself out of the fray of it all...being the observer not the participant of what happens around me, and not allowing it to happen TO me!  I am the puppeteer, and the puppet…I am the ventriloquist and the dummy!  If I stay within my Soul Beingness as much as a conscious human being can accomplish this, I can place myself in a Peaceful State AROUND and not IN a chaotic circumstance.  It turns out Soul Business is key and it overrides Ego Business if I am mindful to this to the best of my ability.

It is a wonderful Forever Path that ALL choose

when they hold up Gratitude and Generosity of  Spirit Heart

and reap the Abundance and Grace which is awaiting them.    ~Gaya.

I’ve been digging real deep during this writing…digging toward my center of what real gratitude is all about.

Of course, on the surface, I am grateful I haven’t gotten cancer or any other severe, perhaps terminal, illness.  I am grateful that I accomplished the things I have accomplished.  I am grateful for my two sons.  I am grateful I continue to have the strength to overcome some of the series of events that have appeared throughout my lifetime and I am grateful I continue to enjoy the privilege of living my life with increasing peace and awareness.

BUT, when it comes to the ‘rubs’ in the road…the serious things that ofttimes keep me up at night…how much gratitude do I have for them?  This is the very point of this blog:  To write this out so I can see it in black and white and evaluate what I believe in relation to what I’m living.  To say this another way, “When Life is a Bitch, and I’m being dragged down from my peaceful spot, am I feeling my gratitude then?  Well, I believe I ought to be…I believe I ought to consider that everything that is put in front of me that causes me upset to whatever degree or another is put there as a lesson for me to learn and grow.  I believe when I feel the pinch, I am in it for the ‘inch’ of Faith I have to hold on to; that I might well take the deep breaths or two, settle back, evaluate and review the circumstances, and begin to come up with some operable answers to get on with this continued privilege of living a more fulfilled life of gratitude as I enjoy this privilege.  THIS IS GRATITUDE IN AND OF ITSELF:  Enjoying the privilege….enjoying everything that I have at all moments of my life…in all of my NOWS!

When I do this kind of digging, I try very hard to come from my Essential Self, My Soul, My Higher Self, and I get almost ‘heady’ about it.  After all, I am the observer now, and I can begin to witness the growth I am making as I work myself through whatever difficulty I’m living, and I can feel my progress.  I am not dealing with this repetitive situation as I have in the past.  I  am now grateful for my understanding.  It is I who now feels more peaceful with this new understanding.  I have neutralized the situation by newfound understanding. I have been able to place the turmoil outside of concern and replace it with a new countenance of gratitude for my understanding.

There most definitely is a huge picture to my life…not my human existence, but my Soul Life.

You might call this a Soul Breakthrough…a conscious awareness of what your ‘huge picture to [my] life’ really is, Kaye.  Peace accompanies understanding.  Gratitude brings with it Grace.  ~Gaya

Blessed Be.  To All Be Blessed.

 

I am mindful this morning that I have so many feelings inside of me, and if I don’t stop and sift through them, I’m missing the opportunity to express myself about them…either to myself, or to the world at large.  I think Self Expression rates high with Self-Esteem because to feel good about expressing myself out loud to others, I feel I have self confidence that my feelings are important to declare.

My feelings aren’t only about myself, either.  This is why I like to give credit where credit is due to others.  When I observe outstanding qualities in others, or their appearance, their demeanor which I find to be so exemplary, I’m almost forced inside to say something outwardly so others can feel my admiration.

It comes to mind  how I feel about what I’m observing has all to do with my inward perception and my outward expression of compassion and kindness.  When I’m able to express positive words and actions about another to someone else, I am extending positive energy to the ethos of humankind.

These kinds of feelings point out to me that I am loving myself well too.  The feelings that are inside for another generate from the feelings I have for myself…a softness, an awareness, and general state of well being for me and others.   The world is as harsh as it feels to me…and as welcoming too.  When I am comfortable as I wend my days, I’m comfortable with myself, so I will be comfortable with what is around me too.  I am also reminded that I have a generous heart when I think like this.  That I am thinking outside myself, and it isn’t about me!

From within, Kaye is realizing the ripple effect of what she receives from her connection with Source, and automatically perpetuates this connection with what is around her.  She is feeling the magnanimity of it all.     ~Gaya

 

 

 

It just goes to show, I don’t know everything!  It took my endearing and well meaning Deep Friend and Messenger to suggest I might mention my books here in the blog.   In fact, it was also her objective viewpoint when she suggested displaying the books all together.  Initially, as she was talking, I was very resistant.  I couldn’t see a place for mentioning my books here, nor had I even considered that I could be more original whenever I do my minimal marketing.  (I’d say  my ‘minimal thinking’ is why I didn’t think of these things myself!)  I have come to the trilogy and,I believe, the final ‘book-publishing-time of my life!’   There continue to be so many ‘times’ of our lives.

I’ve stood on my authentic premise that I wrote these books for myself first. It was so much fun, and so self-fulfilling through the publishing stages while I worked with my esteemed book formatter and cover designer, along with individuals from the very beginning who today, almost 3 years later, are still close to my heart and, though  relatively newfound friends in my latter years,  their pulse in my life runs very deep and strong within me.

Amazing how the Universe has never-ending supply of exactly what we need when we need it.  How can one ever stay with a frame of mind that life is ho hum, boring, unfulfilling and ever so unforgiving, if they actually do listen to their heart’s desires, or all of the wonderful dreams they play in their mind?  We are the conductor and we stop our own music!

It all started for me with this blog! I write about my personal transformation which surfaced when I was 78.   I offered my first book, Unbridled Commentary…Without Flinch (From a Woman of  Years in the “Middle” of Her Life) permanently free on Amazon Kindle.   This book initiated my life dialog of conclusions that surfaced from nothing less than the ‘onion peelings’ I’ve been doing through these years in my blog here at Liferays.net.

When I start up a blog, it is my getaway within my head where I begin to iron out some of my rough spots, give myself credit for what I know I have come through, and always try to hold myself in a humble state. Without the Grace of the Universe, of which I am a part and connect to,  I would not be able to refer to these exciting times which are exactly why these years are referred to as “GOLDEN”!  As far as I’m concerned, I am sure of this!

I’ve opened my mind a wee bit more in the hope you readers have gotten to know me a bit better.  Life is a cornucopia of bounteous joyful new experiences – one after the other.  My books relate how our minds develop our lives.  I am proof that there is no bogey man, or Kodiak Bear (to which I’ve referred often in my books and here in the blog).  What there is when we face our Self-Truths are balloons after balloons of unfounded fears that we begin to pop, and set ourselves free from our own personal bondage.

Come Ahead.  You hold the easel, the canvas, and you provide the color.  Together, we create your dreams.     ~Gaya        

Life is for the living…So Let’s Live and Laugh at it All!  Blessed Be and to All Be Blessed.